People who overestimate their likeability usually display these 11 behaviors (without realizing it)

Adrian Volenik by Adrian Volenik | February 23, 2024, 3:43 pm

When you look at others, you can almost instantly tell if you’re going to like them or not. 

We base this on little things like how they carry themselves, their smile, or even how they talk.

But here’s the thing, first impressions aren’t always spot-on. You might meet someone and instantly hit it off, feeling like you’ve known them forever. 

Other times, you won’t feel that instant connection, but as you get to know them better, you find out you actually really like them.

Nevertheless, people often overestimate their likability, don’t they? So, let’s find out what behaviors show you’re overestimating your likability without even realizing it.  

1) Dominating conversations

Picture someone who just can’t seem to stop talking about themselves or their experiences, even when others are trying to chime in. 

They tend to dominate conversations, often unintentionally, by speaking excessively about themselves, their experiences, or their opinions. 

They may not even realize that they’re monopolizing the discussion, leaving little room for others to share their thoughts or contribute to the conversation, making them one-sided.

2) Always looking for approval

On the other hand, you might not say too much in a conversation, but what you do say is important. 

That’s why I always say you’re better off being quiet than making a fool of yourself by speaking out.

People who think they’re likable but are not are often insecure and constantly seek validation about themselves and their actions. 

For example, in the same breath, they’ll ask all of these:

  • “Do you think I look okay in this outfit?”
  • “Is it okay if I do this?” 
  • “Do you think I should go ahead with this?”
  • “Am I doing better than him/her?”

They always need other people to tell them they’re doing a good job or that they’re okay. 

However, this behavior can be exhausting for the people around them because they feel like they always have to say something nice just to keep them feeling good about themselves.

As can this:

3) Sharing too much personal information

Some people simply share personal information too freely, often without considering whether it’s appropriate for the situation or how others feel about it. 

It’s like telling someone you just met all about your family drama, health issues, or deepest secrets without really knowing if they’re comfortable hearing about it.

And I’ve seen that happen. It’s just wild. They didn’t stop talking for half an hour and sharing their life story while the other person just stood there nodding along. 

People who do this might think they’re being super open and honest. Still, for the person on the receiving end, it can feel like they’re being hit with a flood of personal details they didn’t ask for. 

Think about that for a moment. 

4) Being too agreeable

Are you always saying “yes” to everything and everyone, even if you don’t really agree or want to do what’s being asked? 

Being agreeable is cool to some extent, but when you’re always saying “yes” just to avoid conflict or keep the peace, it’s hard for others to know the real you. 

So, why not find that balance between being considerate of others and speaking up for yourself when it really matters?

You’ll be more honest with others and yourself. 

5) Constantly trying to be the center of attention

Think of that friend who always has to be the center of attention at parties and other social gatherings. They interrupt others, talk loudly, or even show off a bit to keep everyone’s focus on them.

They thrive on being in the spotlight and can’t stand it when the focus shifts away from them.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing to enjoy being the center of attention now and then. Still, when it becomes a constant need, it can be a bit much for everyone else. 

It’s like they’re always competing to be the star of the show, even when it’s not really necessary.

Sometimes, they don’t even realize they’re doing it. They just have this natural charisma or energy that draws people in, but it also make others feel like they’re being overshadowed or ignored.

Which naturally brings me to this:

6) Not paying attention to others

Picture yourself sharing something important with a friend. Instead of listening and responding, they’re busy scrolling through their phone or looking around the room. It’s pretty frustrating, right? 

I also notice it happening more and more. So much so that I now have to tell people to lay it off when I’m talking to them!

Sometimes, it’s not just about being distracted by their phone or whatever’s going on around them. They might also interrupt you, change the subject, or just seem totally disinterested in what you have to say.

In other words, they ignore any and all social cues. 

7) Ignoring social cues

You know when someone keeps texting you even though you’ve clearly shown that you’re not interested? It’s like they’re blind to the signals that you’re not in the mood to chat.

Sure, it’s not always easy to pick up on social cues, especially if you’re caught up in the moment or not paying close attention. 

But paying attention to social cues is super important for making others feel comfortable and respected. 

You need to be aware of how others are feeling and respond in a way that shows you’re tuned in and understanding of their needs. 

So, next time you’re in a social situation, keep an eye out for those subtle cues – they can make a big difference in how others perceive you.

8) Constantly cracking jokes

Look, I love jokes and people who tell them. Witty people are just something else, aren’t they? 

But some of them simply can’t read the room even if their life depended on it. Plus, while laughter is great, too many jokes can start to feel forced and awkward.

For example, imagine you’re having a serious discussion about something important, and there’s that one person who keeps interrupting with jokes or funny comments. 

It can be kind of annoying because you’re trying to have a real conversation, but they keep steering it toward humor.

Not everyone finds the same things funny, and not every situation calls for a joke. So, while it’s cool to have a sense of humor, it’s also important to know when to dial it back and be serious when it matters.

9) Invading personal space

Picture someone you barely know standing so close to you that you can feel their breath on your neck or they keep leaning in when you’re talking, invading your personal space.

Sure, they might not know they’re doing it or that it feels awkward to others. But that’s part of the problem for these people:

They think everyone likes them, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

10) Getting defensive instead of being open to feedback

As someone who can’t take criticism of any kind, I relate to others who get defensive instead of being open to feedback.

Accepting feedback can feel like an attack on their personality. They want to be seen as perfect or always doing things right, so when someone suggests there’s room for improvement, they go into defense mode.

However, feedback is like a guide for personal and professional growth. Being open to it doesn’t mean you’re not good at something or not likable. It simply means you’re open to becoming even better.

11) Always trying to one-up others

At other times, the problem with these people is that they have to be better at everything than everyone else. 

It’s not that they’re intentionally trying to steal the spotlight or make you feel small. It’s often because they want to feel important or impressive. 

They think that by having a better story or experience, they’ll be more likable or interesting to others.

Final thoughts

Being aware of how we come across to others can really make a difference in our relationships. 

You need to find that sweet spot between being yourself and being respectful of others. They probably don’t have the same sense of humor, the same sense of boundaries, and the same way of interacting with other people.