Ever had the feeling that someone just seems to be trying a bit too hard to prove their worth? 

Maybe you can’t put your finger on what exactly they are doing to make you feel this way, but you just get the sense that there’s something deeper at play. 

Well, today, we clear this up for you.

We’re diving into seven common behaviors that often signal someone is overcompensating for low self-worth.

Let’s get to it.

1) Tying self-worth to material possessions

Know someone who is always talking about what they and others have? 

You know – that person who is always talking about his or her fancy car, a new iPhone, or a big house.

They talk like they want you to be impressed. 

Well, it could be a sign that they overcompensating for a feeling of lacking. Research consistently suggests a link between materialism and low self-esteem. 

When people tie their sense of worth to material possessions, they’re often trying to fill an emotional void.

This behavior is a way of shouting to the world – and to themselves – that they matter, that they have value.

But as you probably know, self-worth built on material possessions is fragile.

It’s dependent on external validation rather than internal confidence and self-acceptance.

While enjoying the fruits of one’s labor is perfectly natural, it’s essential to differentiate between celebrating success and using wealth as a crutch for self-esteem. 

The next time you see someone flaunting their latest luxury items, consider whether this might be a sign of compensating for a deeper sense of inadequacy.

2) Hyper-competitiveness

Picture someone you know who’s always eager to win, no matter the situation.

They are the person who turns even the smallest activities into a high-stakes game. 

This sort of hyper-competitiveness is a common mask for low self-worth.

It’s not just about winning a game or being the best in a room; it’s a deeper, almost desperate need to prove one’s value.

This goes beyond healthy competition. 

For individuals grappling with self-worth issues, every win is a much-needed validation of their existence and capabilities.

Studies reinforce this notion, suggesting a link between excessive competitiveness and low self-esteem.

For these individuals, winning becomes less about the joy of success and more about filling a void of self-doubt and insecurity.

And it often comes accompanied by this next behavior. 

3) Workaholism

We all know someone who seems married to their job, always buried in work emails, or forever talking about “hustle.” 

It might seem like commendable dedication, but research indicates a strong connection between workaholism and low self-worth.

This incessant drive to excel at work often stems from a need to prove oneself, not just to the world but to oneself.

As one researcher put it: 

“results suggest that individuals characterized by work addiction have an intense desire to work to compensate for their low self-worth, and they try to increase feelings of self-confidence by obsessive work.”  

These individuals often strive to never be outworked and constantly push limits as a way to fill a gap in their self-esteem.

It’s not merely about climbing the career ladder but an attempt to bolster a fragile sense of self through professional success. 

But often, they do, in fact, achieve career success. 

A study from Yale identified traits like insecurity as common in successful individuals.

They may feel superior yet simultaneously believe they haven’t achieved enough, driving them into a relentless work cycle.

This highlights the complexity of workaholism – it’s not just a sign of low self-worth but can also be a driver of success, albeit at a potentially high personal cost.

4) Posting about their romantic partner

This might seem oddly specific, but there’s intriguing research for this one: people with low self-esteem tend to post updates about their current romantic partner more frequently. 

Yep, you read that right. 

Frequent showcasing of a romantic relationship on social media platforms, such as Facebook, isn’t always just an expression of love or happiness; it often stems from an underlying need for validation and reassurance.

This behavior reflects a deeper struggle with self-esteem, where the perceived success of their romantic life becomes a barometer for their overall value.

So, if you have a friend who always seems to be posting about their partner, it might be time to read between the lines.

Their social media behavior could reveal more about their self-esteem than their relationship status.

5) Generosity 

At first glance, generosity seems like an entirely positive trait. 

However, as noted by Psychology Today, some individuals, in an attempt to compensate for a lack of self-worth, may find themselves lavishing others with gifts, attention, money, or time.

This behavior is not driven by pure altruism, though. It stems from a deep-seated need to be valued and appreciated.

Studies have shown that people with low self-esteem often regret these sacrifices, as their generous acts are more about seeking approval than genuine kindness. 

Generosity, when it stems from a place of insecurity, loses its essence. 

Instead of fostering genuine connections, it becomes a tool for self-validation, often leaving the giver feeling emptier than before.

6) Obsessing with being physically attractive

While maintaining a healthy lifestyle and taking pride in one’s appearance are typically positive traits, an extreme preoccupation with physical attractiveness can be a red flag. 

This obsession can manifest in relentless gym routines, meticulous grooming, or an unhealthy focus on diet.

For many, this isn’t about health. It’s deeply rooted in a need for external validation and a way to combat feelings of inadequacy. 

Both men and women can fall into this trap, believing that enhancing their physical appearance will somehow fill a void of low self-esteem.

The gym or beauty salon becomes less about health or enjoyment and more about fighting off insecurities. 

We all know someone like this. Rack your brain. 

7) Self-Sabotage

This is another one that might sound counterintuitive. 

Sometimes, people with low self-esteem engage in behaviors that actually encourage negative treatment from others. 

This form of self-sabotage is a complex cycle that often goes unnoticed.

As noted by a 2018 study reported on by INC, individuals with low self-esteem are more inclined to seek indirect support.

This can manifest as sulking, whining, or showing sadness to garner attention and support. 

Ironically, these tactics usually backfire, leading to negative reactions from others, further diminishing their self-esteem.

This self-sabotaging behavior extends beyond personal relationships and can be observed in professional settings, too.

For example, someone might resort to passive-aggressive actions like gossiping to seek validation, only to damage their work relationships and reinforce their negative self-perceptions.

Understanding that these short-term strategies for coping can lead to long-term distress is crucial. 

It is only by acknowledging and addressing these behaviors, individuals can start to build a healthier self-image and more positive interactions with others.

The bottom line

While we often associate certain behaviors with confidence or success, they can sometimes be masks for deeper insecurities. 

For these people, recognizing and understanding these patterns is key to fostering genuine self-esteem and breaking free from the cycle of compensation.

As always, I hope you found some value in this post. 

Until next time.