Self-centeredness can often be a subtle trait, going unnoticed even by those who possess it.

The line between self-preservation and absolute selfishness is indeed a fine one. People who always think of themselves are usually not aware of their behavior or its impact on others.

And trust me, there are clear signs that indicate that someone is more focused on their needs than those of others. Some behaviors are more telling than others.

This article is about shedding light on those 8 behaviors often exhibited by people who only think of themselves – and they might not even realize it.

1) They’re often the stars of their own stories

We all like to see ourselves as the main characters in our lives. However, people who primarily think of themselves take this to another level.

In their world, they are the stars, and everyone else is merely a supporting character. Their narratives focus on how everything affects them, with little regard for the feelings or experiences of others.

This self-centered perspective can sometimes be so ingrained that they don’t even realize they’re doing it. It’s not necessarily about being malicious or uncaring; it’s just the way they view the world.

However, over time, this behavior can lead to a lack of empathy and understanding of others’ perspectives. It might not be intentional, but it can still have a significant impact on their relationships.

So if you notice someone always turning conversations back to themselves or their experiences, they might be showing signs of this self-focused behavior.

2) They struggle with active listening

Active listening is a skill that requires a fair deal of empathy and patience. It’s about truly hearing and understanding what the other person is saying, not just waiting for your turn to speak.

Speaking from personal experience, I once had a friend who was always more interested in sharing his stories than listening to mine. Every time I started talking about something that mattered to me, he would somehow steer the conversation back to his experiences or concerns.

At first, it was subtle and I didn’t notice it immediately. But over time, it became increasingly apparent that our conversations were more about him than about sharing experiences or supporting each other.

For him, listening was just a gap between when he could speak again. The focus was always on what he wanted to say next.

This behavior is often a sign of someone who primarily thinks of themselves. They might not even realize they’re doing it, but it can have a significant impact on their relationships and how others perceive them.

3) They have a hard time celebrating other people’s success

Individuals who often think of themselves can find it challenging to genuinely celebrate the achievements of others. This isn’t out of malice, but rather a skewed perspective that makes everything about them.

For example, instead of being happy for someone else’s promotion, they might feel threatened or question why they didn’t get promoted instead. This reaction stems from an inherent need to compare themselves to others and come out on top.

Interestingly, research suggests that this behavior is not only harmful to relationships but also to the individual’s wellbeing. Constant comparison can lead to increased stress levels and a lower sense of self-satisfaction, creating a vicious cycle of self-centered behavior.

So if you notice someone struggling to sincerely congratulate or celebrate others, it could be a sign they’re more focused on themselves than they realize.

4) They rarely show gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful emotion that binds us to others. It’s an acknowledgment that someone else has done something kind or beneficial for us.

But for those who primarily think of themselves, expressing genuine gratitude can be a challenge. It requires acknowledging that someone else’s actions have had a positive impact on their life.

In their perspective, things are expected or seen as a due rather than a kindness to be appreciated. As a result, they might forget to say ‘thank you’ or fail to show appreciation when others go out of their way for them.

This lack of gratitude isn’t necessarily intentional. They may not even realize they’re doing it. However, over time, it can strain relationships and create a perception of them as self-centered individuals.

5) They struggle with genuine empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It allows us to connect on a deeper level, showing compassion and support in times of need.

However, individuals who primarily think of themselves often struggle with this. They find it hard to put themselves in someone else’s shoes, to genuinely feel their pain or joy.

This isn’t because they’re cold-hearted or uncaring. It’s simply that their world revolves around their experiences and emotions, which makes it hard for them to truly connect with what others are going through.

For these individuals, understanding another person’s perspective requires a conscious effort. They may need to actively remind themselves that other people’s feelings are just as valid and important as their own.

This lack of empathy can make it difficult for them to form deep, meaningful relationships. They might not even realize they’re doing it, but it’s a clear sign of someone who is more focused on themselves.

6) They demand constant attention

Being the center of attention can be enticing. It validates our worth and makes us feel important. But some people crave this attention more than others.

I remember a time when I was planning a surprise party for a dear friend. However, another friend consistently tried to shift the focus onto herself. Whether it was her ideas for the party or tales of her past experiences, she always found a way to bring the spotlight back to her.

This constant need for attention can stem from insecurity or a deep-seated fear of being overlooked. But it often results in overshadowing others and monopolizing conversations.

People who primarily think of themselves might not realize they’re doing this. Still, their constant need for attention can inadvertently push others away, leaving them feeling isolated or misunderstood.

7) They often play the victim

Playing the victim is a common trait among those who primarily think of themselves. This behavior allows them to redirect blame, avoid taking responsibility, and maintain their self-image.

In every situation, they somehow manage to be the victim, even when they’re clearly in the wrong. They portray themselves as the ones being treated unfairly or misunderstood, effectively shifting the focus onto their feelings and experiences.

This constant victim mentality can leave little room for others’ perspectives or feelings. Over time, it can strain relationships and create a perception of them as self-centered individuals.

They might not even realize they’re doing this, but it’s a clear sign of someone who is more focused on themselves than they realize.

8) They have a hard time admitting when they’re wrong

Admitting when we’re wrong is tough. It requires humility, self-awareness, and a willingness to learn from our mistakes. But for individuals who primarily think of themselves, this can be an incredibly difficult task.

They often view admitting fault as a sign of weakness or a blow to their self-image. As a result, they might deflect blame, make excuses, or even twist the truth to avoid acknowledging their mistakes.

This reluctance to admit wrongdoing isn’t just about saving face. It’s a defense mechanism that protects their self-centered worldview.

However, this behavior can lead to conflict and hinder personal growth. It’s perhaps the most telling sign of someone who is more focused on themselves than they realize.

Final thoughts: It’s often unconscious

Understanding human behavior is a complex task, often rooted in the subconscious realms of our minds.

For individuals who primarily think of themselves, their actions might not be a conscious decision but rather a manifestation of deeply ingrained habits or defense mechanisms.

It’s important to remember that these behaviors are not necessarily reflective of a person’s entire character or potential for change. With self-awareness and effort, anyone can work towards becoming more empathetic, appreciative, and considerate.

There’s a quote by Carl Jung, a renowned psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, that encapsulates this perfectly: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

So if you notice these behaviors in someone or even yourself, don’t write them off as inherently selfish or unchangeable. Instead, consider it an opportunity for growth and understanding. After all, recognizing the issue is the first step towards making a change.