Navigating through family functions with a smile plastered on my face has been a recurring chapter in my life, scattered with a few occasions where I genuinely enjoyed myself.

Despite my knack for finding joy in awkward gatherings, I often find myself being analyzed—by curious relatives, enthusiastic party-goers, and introverted friends—each subtly implying that maybe I’m pretending.

But why is it that I’m constantly asked to explain my cheerful disposition?

Our society tends to place undue expectations on those who appear to enjoy family functions, often pressuring people into feigning happiness simply out of fear of societal judgment, rather than authentic enjoyment.

In this article, I’ll uncover 7 intriguing character traits of people who manage to have fun at family functions even when they don’t want to be there.

By the end, I hope to illustrate that there’s no shame in admitting that you’re having a good time, just as there’s no shame in confessing your discomfort.

Ultimately, our actions should stem from personal acceptance, rather than external pressures.

1) They embrace spontaneity

This was an intriguing observation for me to make.

“Having fun” often originates from the notion that our minds are the catalysts of enjoyment in our lives. However, the truth is that our minds create joy after things are already unfolding.

Allow me to elaborate.

Consider your reactions right now. Your laugh erupts by itself. The smile forms by itself. Your eyes sparkle by themselves. While reading these words, you’ve perhaps nodded or smirked a few times by yourself.

If you’re going to be the life of the party, it’s essential to accept that you’re not in control. You’re responding spontaneously.

It’s crucial to let go of the illusion of control that comes from believing your thoughts dictate your fun. They don’t. Your actions do, and they are most enjoyable when they occur without premeditation. When you respond spontaneously.

2) They aren’t their emotions

Guidance on how to navigate social events often suggests “putting on a happy face” or “faking it till you make it”. While this is frequently advocated in our society, it’s not the “true essence” of enjoying oneself.

Instead, true enjoyment comes from becoming an “observer” of your emotions. It stems from acknowledging your feelings. As this renowned psychologist states:

“Observe your emotions. Don’t do anything—no forceful laughter, no artificial cheerfulness—just observe whatever your emotions are doing. Don’t suppress them, don’t hinder them, don’t repress them; don’t do anything at all on your part. You just be an observer, and the wonder of observing is enjoyment. As you observe, slowly your mind becomes void of pretense; but you are not becoming indifferent, you are becoming more engaged, more present.”

When you try to “be happy” all the time, you give too much power to your emotions. You surrender your instinctive joy.

Now, I give less power to my emotions. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. Other times I’m wrestling with boredom. I don’t fret about this anymore.

3) They may often feel out of place

They can convince themselves that they are enjoying the gathering, but sooner or later, they might find themselves feeling out of place amidst the crowd.

They might even find themselves drawing attention because of their upbeat demeanor. Few individuals manage to maintain their joviality under such scrutiny.

Feeling out of place is a common occurrence in all social situations, but if you willingly put yourself in a position to stand out, you are inviting curiosity.

Also, it’s crucial to question the role of such feelings in your life.

Perhaps you and your fellow attendees are feeling out of place because you have genuine concerns about fitting in.

Often, we chastise ourselves for feeling odd, as though it’s something that we shouldn’t experience.

Perhaps it’s time to embrace these feelings. They may be a sign that you’re onto a unique path.

4) Their attitude towards others is crucial

I embarked on this article by focusing on character traits and demeanor.

The thing is, character traits and demeanor also dictate how we interact with others.

In their case, they tend to get engrossed in their quest for enjoyment. They become preoccupied with the next fun activity or conversation.

Their intentions are good. They aim to create a positive atmosphere in the gathering.

But when they get so involved, they can slip into the habit of thinking their enjoyment is more important than the feelings of people around them. They can overlook introverted attendees. They become too animated and might not be such a pleasant person to interact with.

If they judged themselves for their intentions, they wouldn’t question their conduct.

Instead, because they don’t focus solely on their intentions, they are more capable of reflecting on their actions and change how they behave. They are learning to balance their fun and respect the comfort of others.

How you treat people is what matters, not the intentions that drive your behavior.

5) They value authenticity

This particular trait is something I’ve personally grappled with and learned to appreciate over time.

In my early years, I would often attend family functions with a rehearsed smile and a bag of practiced jokes. The intention was to blend in, to be seen as the fun-loving individual that everyone expected me to be.

But over time, I realized that this facade was not only exhausting but also unfulfilling. The laughter I received felt hollow, and the conversations seemed superficial.

Then came a turning point – a family gathering where I decided to just be myself. I wasn’t the loudest or the funniest that day. Instead, I listened more, shared genuine stories, and laughed when I truly found something amusing.

To my surprise, people responded positively. They appreciated my authenticity, and the interactions felt more meaningful. From that day on, I realized that being genuine was more important than putting on a show.

People who manage to have fun at family functions even when they don’t want to be there usually value authenticity. They understand that true enjoyment comes from being true to oneself and others.

6) They savour the present

People who manage to have fun at family functions often have a deep appreciation for the present moment. They understand the fleeting nature of time and seize the opportunity to create memories that will last.

Here’s the key point:

This trait encourages us to live in the now, to savour the conversations, laughter, and shared meals, and to cherish the memories being created.

For those feeling disconnected, engaging with the present moment can provide a sense of belonging. It’s a reminder that we are part of a larger narrative, a story that is unfolding in real-time and will be recounted in the future.

Savouring the present encourages us to see our participation in family functions as part of a larger tapestry and can provide a sense of purpose and connectedness.

7) They aren’t always the life of the party

When one thinks of people having fun at family functions, the image that often comes to mind is the life of the party – someone who’s always laughing, dancing, or regaling everyone with captivating stories. However, people who genuinely enjoy such gatherings aren’t always in the spotlight.

This trait might seem a bit paradoxical. After all, how can you have fun without being at the center of it all?

The answer lies in understanding that enjoyment doesn’t always equate to being noticed or applauded. Sometimes, it’s about quietly appreciating the warmth of family, the shared history and bonds, and the simple joy of being together.

These individuals find their happiness in small moments – a shared smile with a cousin, a heartfelt conversation with an uncle, or just watching their loved ones enjoy themselves.

In essence, they recognize that fun isn’t always about being seen. Instead, it’s about seeing – seeing the beauty in mundane moments and cherishing them. This thoughtful acceptance makes family functions enjoyable for them, even when they aren’t particularly eager to be there.

Final thought: It could be intrinsic

The complexities of human interactions and social enjoyment often have profound links with our inherent personality traits.

One such connection is the relationship between people who enjoy family functions and a concept known as emotional intelligence.

This concept, widely recognized in psychology, refers to the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways. It plays a crucial role in navigating social situations effectively.

For people who manage to have fun at family functions even when they don’t want to be there, emotional intelligence might be a key factor in their enjoyment.

Their ability to empathize with others, maintain a positive outlook, and regulate their emotions could potentially induce a sense of fulfillment and happiness in these gatherings.

Whether it’s striking up a conversation with a distant relative, laughing at a worn-out family joke, listening attentively to an elder’s story, or simply observing the familial bonds around them, their inherent emotional intelligence might be enhancing their experience.

In essence, the ability to enjoy family functions doesn’t necessarily depend on external factors like the venue or the menu. Rather, it hinges on these intrinsic traits that allow individuals to find joy in the mundane, embrace authenticity, and treasure the present moment.

And maybe, just maybe, we all have these traits within us – we just need to tap into them.