It’s one of the most challenging journeys a person can embark on:

Coming to terms with the fact that you’re not traditionally attractive, at least not by society’s ever-changing standards.

You’ve tried altering your appearance, you’ve attempted every trending beauty hack out there, but it’s just not adding up.

Often, it’s not a big reveal.

You simply start to realize that there’s more to life than chasing an elusive standard of beauty, even when every social media post, every advertisement screams otherwise.

Here’s how you can tell that you’ve started embracing your unique appeal and stopped playing the beauty rat race.

1) Embracing their uniqueness

Making peace with being unattractive often begins with a shift in perspective.

You start to see that beauty standards are arbitrary and ever-changing, and you begin to question who gets to decide what’s attractive and what’s not.

The spark, that initial rush of self-acceptance, might be barely noticeable at first.

But then, you realize that you wouldn’t want to look like anyone else.

You find things to appreciate about your appearance. You start to see your physical traits not as flaws, but as features that make you unique.

It’s not just about accepting your appearance as it is, but actually embracing it.

Your relationship with yourself becomes special and committed. You’re no longer chasing an elusive standard of beauty, but celebrating your own unique form of it.

Yes, it’s a journey with ups and downs, but it’s an empowering one that many embark on, and many find happiness in.

2) Investing in healthy relationships

Once I started embracing my unique form of beauty, I noticed a shift in the way I approached relationships.

I used to think that being attractive was a prerequisite for being loved. It felt like I had to put on a mask, constantly trying to fit into someone else’s definition of beauty.

But as I began to accept myself, I no longer felt the need to be someone else in my relationships.

I remember with my friend Sarah, we used to spend hours talking about how we needed to look better, be prettier.

It was exhausting and, honestly, quite draining. But as I grew more comfortable in my own skin, those conversations started to feel redundant.

Instead, I began investing time in nurturing relationships that valued me for who I truly am, not what I look like.

And surprisingly, the more I accepted myself, the more others seemed to do the same. It was as if by loving myself, I was teaching others how to love me too.

The relationships became more genuine and fulfilling. There was a sense of ease and authenticity that wasn’t there before.

And that’s when I realized how liberating it is to be yourself, unapologetically.

3) Prioritizing inner beauty

There’s a famous quote by Audrey Hepburn that has always resonated with me. She said, “The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.”

Once I had started to embrace my unique form of beauty and invest in healthy relationships, I began to understand the depth of Hepburn’s words.

Physical attractiveness could be fleeting, but the beauty that stems from within? That was everlasting.

I started to prioritize nurturing my inner self. I focused on kindness, empathy, and strength – qualities that made me feel beautiful from the inside out.

I realized that my worth wasn’t tied to my appearance, but to who I was as a person.

And let me tell you, it was a game-changer.

No longer was I seeking validation based on how I looked; instead, I was striving to be a better person each day.

The journey towards self-acceptance taught me that being unattractive by society’s standards didn’t mean I wasn’t beautiful. It just meant that my beauty was more than skin-deep.

As Hepburn said, true beauty is reflected in the soul. And by prioritizing my inner beauty, I found a sense of peace and self-worth that no physical attribute could ever provide.

4) Accepting change

Did you know that the cells in our body regenerate over time? In fact, almost every cell in your body will be completely replaced every seven to ten years.

What does this have to do with making peace with being unattractive? Everything.

Once I began to understand this, it helped me on my journey of self-acceptance. I realized that my body, including my physical appearance, was constantly changing. And that included the features I was not traditionally fond of.

Instead of dwelling on these aspects and labeling them as unattractive, I started to view them as a part of a dynamic, ever-changing organism – me.

Accepting change meant acknowledging that my body wasn’t a static entity. It was always evolving, just like me.

This acceptance brought about a newfound respect for my body and its imperfections.

It also helped me understand that while I might not fit into the traditional notion of attractiveness today, it didn’t mean I wouldn’t feel differently about myself in the future.

5) Practicing self-compassion

After embracing my uniqueness, investing in healthy relationships, prioritizing inner beauty, and accepting change, I found myself developing another habit: practicing self-compassion.

I started to realize that just like everyone else, I was human, with all the inherent flaws and imperfections that come with it.

I began to understand that it was okay not to be perfect, not to meet society’s standards of beauty. What mattered more was how I treated myself in light of these so-called imperfections.

Instead of berating myself for not being attractive enough, I learned to be kind and gentle with myself. I started treating myself like I would a dear friend – with understanding, patience, and a whole lot of love.

The journey of self-acceptance is not an easy one. It’s filled with moments of doubt and insecurity. But practicing self-compassion has been my safety net, catching me when I fall.

It’s helped me navigate through the tough times and come out stronger on the other side.

6) Cultivating gratitude

With self-compassion came another invaluable habit: cultivating gratitude.

Once I learned to be kinder to myself, it opened up space for me to appreciate the good in my life. I started to focus less on what I perceived as my shortcomings and more on the things that brought me joy.

And it wasn’t just about being grateful for the big things. I found myself appreciating the little things too – a warm cup of coffee in the morning, a good book, a heartfelt conversation with a friend.

I also started to feel grateful for my body, in all its uniqueness. Yes, I may not be traditionally attractive, but my body allows me to experience life in so many beautiful ways.

It lets me savor my favorite foods, listen to the music that moves me, and feel the warmth of a loved one’s hug. And for that, I am truly thankful.

Cultivating gratitude has helped me shift my focus from what I lack to what I have. 

7) Seeking personal growth

As I developed these habits and started feeling more at peace with myself, I noticed a shift in my priorities. I was no longer obsessed with my appearance, but rather, I became more focused on my personal growth.

I became interested in learning new things, exploring new places, and challenging myself in ways I hadn’t before.

It was no longer about how attractive I was on the outside, but how enriched I was on the inside.

I started reading more books, picked up a few hobbies, and even took some online courses to enhance my skills.

And as I grew personally, I felt a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment that no level of physical attractiveness could ever provide.

In this journey of self-discovery and growth, I found that being unattractive wasn’t a disadvantage, but rather, it was a catalyst that spurred me to become a better version of myself.

8) Defining their own standards of beauty

Finally, as all these habits started to interweave and form a tapestry of self-acceptance and love, I realized something crucial: I was defining my own standards of beauty.

I was no longer attempting to fit into society’s mold of what is attractive. Instead, I was creating my own mold, one that celebrated the beauty of uniqueness, kindness, gratitude, and growth.

I started to see beauty in my so-called flaws and imperfections. They were no longer shortcomings but signs of a life well-lived, a testament to my journey.

I found beauty in the way I laughed wholeheartedly at silly jokes, in the way I treated people with kindness and empathy, in the way I pursued my passions with fervor.

Most importantly, I found beauty within me – not just on the surface but deep within my soul.