People who listen far more than they speak usually have these 10 unique strengths

Ava Sinclair by Ava Sinclair | August 23, 2024, 9:24 am

I’ve always wondered about the people who don’t feel the need to fill every silence with words.

You know the type—they’re the ones sitting at the table, sipping their coffee, listening intently while everyone else is caught up in the rush to be heard. There’s a quiet strength in them, a kind of presence that doesn’t need to shout to be noticed.

These are the listeners, the ones who take it all in before they speak. They’re not just letting the conversation wash over them; they’re absorbing every detail, picking up on things the rest of us might miss. 

Let’s talk about these 10 unique strengths of people who listen more than they speak. Sometimes, the ones who say the least have the most to offer.

1) Enhanced understanding

There’s a reason why we have two ears and one mouth.

Those who listen more than they speak often have a deeper understanding of the world around them. They’re better able to catch non-verbal cues, and understand the deeper context of what’s being said to them.

Listening allows you to dissect complex issues, understand different perspectives, and ultimately make informed decisions.

And this is something I find very important: listening shows your strength in actively seeking to understand rather than simply waiting for your turn to speak.

2) Building trust

Let me tell you a story from my own life that perfectly illustrates this strength.

A few years ago, I was working on a project with a colleague who was known for being a bit of a talker. He was brilliant, no doubt, but he had a tendency to dominate conversations. It was clear to me that this was causing some friction within our team.

So, I decided to take a different approach. Instead of trying to match his verbosity, I opted to listen more. I made it a point to ask him about his ideas, his concerns, and his aspirations for the project.

As time went on, I noticed a change in our dynamic. He started seeking my opinion more often and even began taking my suggestions into account. Our working relationship improved significantly.

Did you notice what I did there? By listening more than speaking, I had built a strong foundation of trust with him. He knew that I valued his input and that I genuinely wanted to understand his perspective.

This is the power of listening – it builds trust. And trust, as we all know, is the bedrock of any successful relationship, be it personal or professional.

3) Better conflict resolution

According to research, managers spend close to 25% of their time resolving conflicts. That’s more than one full day every week!

Now, imagine if these managers had the strength of listening more than speaking. They would be able to understand both sides of the argument, empathize with the parties involved, and come up with a solution that is fair to everyone.

Listening allows you to grasp the root cause of a conflict instead of just the surface-level issues. It enables you to address the problem effectively and prevent it from escalating further.

If you’re someone who listens more than speaks, your strength in conflict resolution is likely well above average. You have a skill that is not only rare but also highly sought after in today’s fast-paced, high-stress work environments.

4) Improved patience

Patience has become a rare virtue nowadays. But for those who listen more than they speak, patience is often a well-honed strength.

Listening requires you to slow down, to wait for the other person to finish their thoughts before jumping in with your own. It’s a practice in patience and restraint. Over time, this constant exercise in patience seeps into other areas of life as well.

As you learn patience, you’re able to tolerate delays and obstacles without getting agitated or giving up, proving that good things truly do come to those who wait… and listen.

5) Enhanced empathy

Listening is closely tied to empathy. Effective listening, especially active-empathic listening (AEL), involves more than just hearing words; it requires understanding the emotions and perspectives behind them.

Research supports that AEL is strongly correlated with several key social skills, including emotional sensitivity. This means that when you engage in active-empathic listening, you’re likely to excel in empathy and emotional connection.

By truly understanding others’ viewpoints and experiences, you strengthen relationships and offer meaningful support.

So, if you excel at listening, you’re likely to be an excellent empathizer as well, building deeper and more compassionate connections with those around you.

6) Genuine connections

In this digital age, where conversations often happen through screens and genuine human connections can feel rare, being a good listener is a breath of fresh air.

Giving people your undivided attention, showing them that you value their words and that you’re there for them in that moment is priceless.

This creates a bond that goes beyond surface-level acquaintances. It forms connections that are deep, meaningful, and truly special.

You see, when people feel heard, they feel seen. They feel understood and appreciated. And isn’t that what we all crave in our relationships?

If you’re someone who listens more than you speak, you’re already ahead in the game of creating genuine connections. You have the ability to make people feel valued and heard, and that’s a strength that can light up both your life and the lives of those around you.

7) Deeper self-awareness

Some years ago, I found myself in a challenging situation. I had been given a leadership role within my team, but things weren’t going as smoothly as I had hoped.

In trying to figure out what was going wrong, I realized that I was talking more than I was listening. I was so focused on sharing my ideas and opinions that I wasn’t taking the time to truly understand the thoughts and feelings of my team members.

One day, I decided to shift my approach. I started listening more—asking for feedback, understanding their perspectives, and valuing their input.

What happened next was surprising. As I began to understand them better, I also started understanding myself better.

I became aware of my strengths and weaknesses, my biases, and my blind spots. This deeper self-awareness made me a more effective leader and a better person.

8) Greater influence

This one might seem odd. According to research, those who listen more than they speak often have more influence over others.

While it’s natural to think that the person doing most of the talking is steering the conversation, it’s actually the listener who holds the power. They’re the ones absorbing information, understanding viewpoints, and eventually directing the conversation towards meaningful outcomes.

By listening, you show respect for the other person’s thoughts and feelings. This earns you their trust and makes them more open to your ideas and suggestions.

Don’t underestimate the influence you hold. Your quiet strength may just be the key to making a big impact.

9) Effective problem-solving

The ability to solve problems effectively is a highly coveted skill in any field. And guess what? If you’re someone who listens more than you speak, you’re likely a pro at it.

Listening allows you to gather all the necessary information before jumping to conclusions. It enables you to understand different perspectives, identify the root cause of the problem, and come up with a solution that takes all aspects into account.

By not rushing to speak, you give yourself the space to think things through and make well-informed decisions. So, your tendency to listen more than you speak is actually a secret weapon in problem-solving. Use it wisely!

10) Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence – the ability to manage your own emotions and understand the emotions of others – is one of the most essential skills one can possess in today’s world.

And here’s the kicker: if you’re someone who listens more than you speak, you likely have a high level of emotional intelligence.

Listening allows you to pick up on subtle cues, to understand not just what is being said, but how it’s being said. It helps you gauge the emotional state of the speaker and respond in a thoughtful and considerate manner.

If you’re a good listener, congratulations! You already possess one of the most valuable skills of the 21st century – emotional intelligence. Cherish it and continue to nurture it.

A final note: It’s a gift

I love being with someone who really listens. It’s like they’re telling you, without words, that your thoughts matter, that they’re worth the time it takes to understand them. 

If you’re one of those listeners, know that your quiet attention is a rare and beautiful thing. It’s a beautiful way of showing care, of saying, “I’m here, and I’m listening.” And that’s a kind of connection that goes beyond words.

In a world full of noise, it’s something truly special.