Ever been in a conversation and someone says something, well, awkward?

This usually happens because they’re not aware of how their words sound to others. This is a sign of what we call ‘social intelligence’ taking a backseat.

In this fun ride of an article, we’re highlighting the top 10 phrases that people lacking in social intelligence tend to use.

So, are you ready to dive into this list and step up your conversational game?

Let’s go!

1) “I know, right?”

We’ve all heard this one, right? It’s a phrase that people throw around a lot without realizing how it can come across. When someone shares a story or experience, responding with “I know, right?” might seem like you’re agreeing with them.

But be careful, because it can also sound like you’re dismissing their point of view. It’s as if you’re saying that the information they shared is already known and obvious to you. Instead, try showing genuine interest in their story.

You could say something like “Wow, that’s interesting!” or “Tell me more about it.” This will help create a more positive and engaging conversation.

2) “Whatever”

Ah, the infamous “whatever”.

It might seem like a casual response, but it’s often seen as a dismissive and disrespectful comment. Using “whatever” in a conversation can come off as if you don’t value the other person’s opinion or feelings enough to engage with them properly.

If you truly don’t have a preference or strong feelings about something, try using phrases like “I’m okay with either option” or “I trust your judgment”. These phrases show respect and can help maintain a positive interaction.

3) “No offense, but…”

The phrase “No offense, but…” is often used as a way to soften the blow of a criticism or negative comment. However, more often than not, it tends to do the opposite.

The phrase signals that you’re about to say something potentially hurtful, which can put the other person on the defensive.

Instead, if you’re trying to give constructive feedback, focus on the issue at hand without making it personal.

For instance, I would have preferred if my friend said something like, “The previous hairstyle really suited you” or “What made you decide to change your hairstyle?” This way, it opens up a dialogue rather than sounding like an unkind judgment.

4) “To be honest…”

Here’s an interesting tidbit: according to a study by James W. Pennebaker, a psychologist at the University of Texas, the phrase “To be honest…” can often signal that someone is about to lie or exaggerate.

Ironically, when people use this phrase, they might think it adds credibility to their statement. However, it can unintentionally raise a red flag. After all, should we assume that what you were saying before wasn’t honest?

A better way to express sincerity or emphasis might be simply stating your point or using phrases like “I believe…” or “I feel…”. 

5) “You always…” or “You never…”

These phrases are often used in arguments and heated discussions, and they can feel very harsh.

By making sweeping statements like “You always forget our plans” or “You never listen to me”, you might think you’re expressing frustration. However, the other person could feel attacked or misunderstood.

These absolute terms can escalate conflicts and create emotional distance. Instead of using “always” or “never”, it’s more constructive to express how their actions make you feel and provide specific examples.

This gives the other person a clearer understanding of your emotions and opens up a space for understanding and empathy.

6) “That’s just how I am”

The phrase “That’s just how I am” can shut down the possibility of self-improvement or compromise. It’s like saying, “I won’t change, no matter what.” While it’s important to stay true to ourselves, it’s equally important to be open to growth and change.

Instead of using this phrase, it might be better to say something like, “I appreciate your feedback and will take it into consideration” or “Let’s find a common ground we can agree on.”

This portrays a willingness to understand and accommodate others’ perspectives.

7) “Calm down”

Let’s get real here. Telling someone to “calm down” when they’re visibly upset or angry is like throwing fuel on a fire.

It can come across as if you’re dismissing their emotions or telling them their feelings aren’t valid. It’s downright infuriating!

Try saying something like, “I can see you’re really upset. Let’s take a moment and then we can talk about it.” This approach shows empathy, which is key in maintaining healthy, respectful conversations.

8) “It’s not my fault”

When someone uses the phrase “It’s not my fault”, it can come across as though they’re refusing to accept responsibility for their actions.

This can damage relationships and trust, and it doesn’t leave room for growth or learning from mistakes.

Try saying something like “I see how my actions contributed to this” or “Let’s figure out what went wrong so we can avoid it in the future” shows maturity and willingness to learn and improve.

9) “It’s just a joke”

I remember a time when I was joking around with a friend, and I said something that unintentionally offended them. I immediately tried to smooth things over by saying, “It’s just a joke.”

But in hindsight, I realize that this phrase can minimize the other person’s feelings and make it seem like their reaction is the problem, not the potentially hurtful comment.

Humor is subjective, and what one person finds funny, another might find hurtful. Instead of dismissing their feelings with “It’s just a joke”, it’s important to apologize and clarify that it wasn’t your intention to offend. 

10) “I don’t care”

Let’s cut to the chase: “I don’t care” is a phrase that can come off as cold and apathetic. When used in a conversation, it can feel like a verbal punch to the gut. It gives off the impression that you’re uninterested in what the other person has to say or feel.

Expressing indifference may seem like the easy way out of a difficult conversation, but it can hurt relationships and close doors to understanding.

If you truly don’t have a preference in a matter, consider saying something like, “I’m open to suggestions” or “What do you think?” This way, you’re inviting conversation rather than shutting it down.