It’s often said, “Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”

I mean, it makes sense, right?

After all, how can we fully love others if we don’t even love ourselves? But here’s the kicker. Many of us don’t even realize we’re lacking in self-love. It’s a subtle art that often gets overshadowed by our busy lives, societal pressures, and past experiences.

Now, you might be thinking, “But I’m pretty content with myself. I don’t have a problem with self-love.” Well, you might be surprised. You see, the signs of lacking self-love aren’t always glaringly obvious.

In fact, they can be pretty sneaky.

So, if you’re curious to know whether you need to up your self-love game or not, stick around. I’m about to reveal 6 behaviors that people who lack self-love often display – without even realizing it!

Let’s dive in, shall we?

1) Constant self-criticism

Ever find yourself being your own worst critic?

Sure, we all have moments of self-doubt and self-criticism. That’s normal. But if you’re always beating yourself up over every little mistake, it might be a sign of a deeper issue.

People who lack self-love often have a harsh inner critic. They tend to focus on their flaws and shortcomings, rather than their strengths and achievements.

And here’s the sad part – they might not even realize they’re doing it.

So next time you catch yourself being overly critical, take a step back. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes. What’s important is that you learn from them, not berate yourself over them. After all, you’re only human.

Self-love starts with accepting yourself – imperfections and all.

2) Approval-seeking behavior

Ever been in a situation where you’re constantly trying to please others?

I’ll be honest, I’ve been there.

I remember this one time when I was so desperate for approval that I actually changed my entire wardrobe just to fit in with a new group of friends. Looking back, it sounds ridiculous, right? But at the time, I thought it was the only way they’d accept me.

People lacking self-love often find themselves seeking validation from others. It’s like they’re looking for a stamp of approval that says, “You’re good enough.”

But here’s what I’ve learned – your worth doesn’t come from what others think of you. It comes from within.

So, if you find yourself constantly seeking approval, take a moment to reflect. Remember, you don’t need anyone’s validation to know your worth. You are enough just as you are.

3) Neglecting personal needs

Let’s get real for a moment.

When was the last time you said ‘no’ to someone because you knew that saying ‘yes’ would mean neglecting your own needs?

It’s tough, isn’t it?

Too often, people who lack self-love end up placing others’ needs above their own. They sacrifice their own well-being, convince themselves it’s for the greater good, but in reality, they’re just denying their own worth.

I’ve seen people push themselves to exhaustion, physically and mentally, just to avoid saying ‘no’. But here’s the thing – it’s okay to say ‘no’. It’s okay to prioritize yourself. It’s okay to put your needs first.

Self-love isn’t selfish. It’s essential for your well-being. Next time you’re about to compromise your own needs for someone else, pause and ask yourself – “Am I doing this out of love or out of fear of disappointing others?”

It’s not selfish to prioritize your own needs. It’s self-love!

4) Disregarding compliments

Have you ever shrugged off a compliment, thinking the person was just being nice, or that they didn’t really mean it?

It’s a common reaction among those who lack self-love. They find it hard to believe that they could be worthy of praise or admiration.

I’ve seen this happen too many times. You compliment someone on their work, and they downplay it saying, “Oh, it was nothing” or “I could have done better.” They just can’t accept that they did a good job.

If this sounds familiar to you, it’s time to take a step back and reflect. Why do you find it hard to accept compliments? Don’t you think you deserve them?

Acknowledging your strengths and accepting compliments graciously is not being arrogant. It’s loving and believing in yourself – and you definitely deserve that.

5) Constant comparison with others

Here’s something you might not know.

According to psychology, comparison is a natural human tendency. We’ve been doing it since the dawn of time – comparing ourselves to others to gauge our social and personal worth. But when it becomes a constant habit, it’s no longer healthy.

People who lack self-love are often caught in the vicious cycle of comparison. They look at others and think, “Why can’t I be more like them?” or “Why am I not as successful as they are?”

And it’s not just about materialistic things like wealth or possessions. It’s about skills, talents, relationships, and even happiness.

But here’s the truth – comparison is the thief of joy. It robs you of your happiness and makes you feel inadequate.

Everyone is on their own journey. There are no standards or benchmarks for success and happiness. Your worth is not determined by how you stack up against others.

You are unique, and that’s your superpower. Embrace it.

6) Difficulties in expressing emotions

Expressing emotions can be tough, can’t it?

You might feel vulnerable, exposed, even a little bit scared. That’s completely normal. We’ve all been there.

People who lack self-love often struggle with expressing their feelings. They might bottle up their emotions, fearing that they’ll be judged or misunderstood.

But let me tell you something. It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. Your emotions are valid, and they matter.

If you’re feeling happy, share that joy with the world. If you’re feeling sad, it’s okay to cry. If you’re angry, it’s okay to express that too. Your feelings are a part of who you are, and you should never feel ashamed of them.

Expressing your emotions doesn’t make you weak – it makes you human. And there is incredible strength in embracing your humanity. It’s one of the greatest forms of self-love there is.

The final thought

If some – or all – of these signs resonate with you, you’re not alone. Many of us grapple with self-love, often without realizing it.

But here’s the silver lining – recognizing these behaviors is the first step towards change.

With awareness and a bit of effort, these habits can be rerouted. All it takes is a shift in perspective and a gentle reminder that you are important.

Start by observing your thoughts and actions. Take note when you’re overly critical of yourself or when you’re seeking validation from others. Recognize when you’re neglecting your own needs, and most importantly, remind yourself that it’s okay to prioritize yourself.

It may not be easy, and old habits do take time to break. But every step you take towards self-love is a step in the right direction.

Keep in mind: Self-love isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. And every journey begins with a single step. So be kind to yourself as you embark on this path!