People who lack self-confidence often have these 8 personality traits (according to psychology)

Ava Sinclair by Ava Sinclair | August 9, 2024, 8:29 pm

If you’ve ever been around someone who lacks self-confidence, you may have noticed certain patterns in their behavior.

People with low self-esteem often exhibit a specific set of personality traits that may make them seem unsure or hesitant.

They might downplay their achievements, avoid eye contact, or constantly seek validation.

Lack of self-confidence isn’t a personal failing – it’s often the result of various psychological factors.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experience with low self-esteem is unique and brings its own set of challenges.

Understanding these personality traits can help us better support those struggling with self-confidence.

So, let’s delve into what psychology has to say about the common characteristics of people who lack self-confidence.

1) Constantly seeking validation

Have you ever noticed someone who seems to need constant reassurance?

It’s like they’re always asking for approval or affirmation, even for the smallest things.

“Did I do this right?” or “Does this look okay?” might be common phrases you hear them say.

This is one of the key personality traits associated with a lack of self-confidence.

Those with low self-esteem often struggle to trust their own judgment and constantly seek validation as a way to compensate.

It’s not a deliberate ploy for attention or sympathy; it’s more about their internal struggle to believe in their own competence and worthiness.

This isn’t something they choose.

Psychological factors often underpin these behaviors and make them hard to overcome.

Just because someone seeks validation frequently doesn’t mean they’re needy or weak – it’s just one of the challenges they face due to low self-confidence.

Understanding this trait can help us empathize better with those who lack self-confidence and offer them the support they need.

Instead of dismissing their concerns, we can acknowledge their feelings and remind them of their strengths and capabilities.

This way, we’re not only helping them build their self-esteem but also breaking the cycle of constant validation seeking.

2) Overachieving

Interestingly, low self-confidence can sometimes manifest itself as overachievement.

It might seem like a paradox, but it’s not uncommon for individuals with low self-esteem to push themselves to achieve more, often to the point of burnout.

The underlying reason is often the need to prove worth to themselves and others.

They might believe that by excelling in various fields, they can compensate for their perceived inadequacies and secure the approval of others.

However, this behavior can often lead to an unhealthy cycle. The more they achieve, the higher their standards become, leading to increased pressure and stress.

This can further erode their self-confidence if they perceive any failure or setback as a reflection of their worth.

If we recognize this trait in someone, it’s crucial to help them understand that their self-worth is not tied to their achievements.

Celebrating their effort rather than just the result can help break the cycle and build healthier self-confidence.

3) Negative self-talk

People with low self-confidence often have a constant stream of negative thoughts about themselves.

You might hear them saying things like, “I’m so stupid,” or, “I can’t do anything right.”

This is more than just being overly critical – it’s a reflection of how they see themselves.

This is something called automatic negative thinking, where negative thoughts about oneself come quickly and spontaneously without any conscious control.

It’s believed to be a major factor contributing to low self-esteem.

Negative self-talk can be damaging because it reinforces low self-confidence and initiates a vicious cycle.

But the good news is, it’s possible to intervene in this cycle.

By learning to recognize and challenge these automatic negative thoughts, individuals can gradually replace them with more positive and realistic assessments of themselves.

This cognitive restructuring can significantly improve self-esteem and overall mental health.

4) Difficulty accepting compliments

Ever noticed how some people brush off compliments or downplay their achievements?

It’s like they’re unable to accept that they’ve done well or achieved something worth acknowledging.

This isn’t about being humble; often, individuals with low self-confidence genuinely struggle to see their own worth and accomplishments.

It’s hard for them to believe they’re deserving of praise, and they might even feel uncomfortable or awkward when complimented.

They may deflect or reject the compliment, not out of false modesty, but because it conflicts with their own negative self-perception.

But we can help. When we notice this trait, let’s be patient and persistent.

Reassure them that the compliment is sincere and well-deserved.

Over time, this can help them start to recognize their own value and slowly build up their self-confidence. Every kind word can make a difference.

5) Fear of failure

Who hasn’t felt the sting of failure at some point? It’s a universal experience.

But for those with low self-confidence, the fear of failure can be paralyzing.

They often worry about making mistakes, disappointing others, or not meeting expectations.

This fear can hold them back from taking on new challenges or pursuing opportunities.

They might prefer to stay in their comfort zone rather than risk the possibility of failure.

Everyone fails sometimes – it’s a part of life and learning.

When we see someone struggling with this fear, let’s remind them that it’s okay to make mistakes.

Let’s encourage them to see failure as a stepping stone, not a dead end.

After all, every attempt, successful or not, brings us one step closer to our goals.

6) Over-apologizing

Have you ever met someone who says ‘sorry’ all too often?

I remember a friend who would apologize for everything, even when it clearly wasn’t their fault.

They’d say “sorry” when someone else bumped into them, or even when they asked a simple question.

This over-apologizing is another common trait among those with low self-confidence.

They often feel responsible for things beyond their control and worry excessively about upsetting others.

This constant apologizing is their way of mitigating potential conflict or criticism.

But what they may not realize is that there’s no need to apologize for existing or having needs.

It’s important to reassure them that it’s okay to express themselves without feeling guilty or burdensome.

Over time, this can help them build their confidence and feel more comfortable in their own skin.

7) Avoiding eye contact

Look me in the eye when we’re having a conversation – it’s a universal sign of confidence and respect.

But for those with low self-confidence, maintaining eye contact can be a real struggle.

They often gaze down or away, as if they’re trying to hide or avoid being seen.

It’s not about being rude or disinterested; it’s more about their discomfort with being the center of attention.

It’s time to face this head-on. Building confidence takes practice, and starting with something as simple as eye contact can make a big difference.

So next time you’re talking to someone who avoids your gaze, gently remind them that their voice matters, their presence is valued, and they deserve to be seen and heard.

Confidence starts with believing in oneself, and every small step counts.

8) Underestimating their abilities

We all have moments of self-doubt, but for those with low self-confidence, underestimating their abilities is a constant struggle.

They often believe they’re less capable or talented than they actually are.

This self-deprecating view can prevent them from reaching their full potential and living a fulfilling life.

Everyone has worth and everyone has strengths. If you recognize this trait in someone, remind them of their talents and abilities.

Encourage them to challenge their self-doubt and embrace their potential.

It’s not an overnight transformation, but with patience and persistence, they can learn to see themselves in a more positive light.

And that’s the first step towards building true self-confidence.

Final thoughts

Understanding and empathy are key in life, especially when it comes to helping those who struggle with low self-confidence. 

This article hopes to shed light on some common characteristics of people with low self-confidence, not to label or judge, but to foster understanding and compassion.

Ultimately, how we respond and support is up to us.

Time spent understanding others is never time wasted. It’s a step towards a kinder, more empathetic world.

And true wisdom lies not only in understanding ourselves but in our ability to understand others without judgment.

So here’s to promoting self-confidence, celebrating individuality, and supporting each other in our shared human experience!