Ever found yourself in a conversation where someone just doesn’t seem to understand the weight of their words? You might be dealing with someone who lacks empathy.

It’s not that they’re necessarily mean-spirited, it’s just that these individuals don’t fully grasp the effect their words can have on others.

Let’s delve into this a bit more and highlight 10 phrases often used by people who lack empathy, phrases they utter without realizing the impact they’re having.

These are common expressions that may not seem harmful but can really hit hard for those on the receiving end.

So, let’s get started.

1. “I don’t see why this is such a big deal”

Ever heard someone dismiss your feelings with this phrase? That’s a clear indication of a lack of empathy.

People who lack empathy struggle to understand the emotional gravity of situations that don’t directly affect them. They might shrug off your concerns or feelings as insignificant because they can’t relate to them.

This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re unkind or indifferent; it just indicates they find it difficult to put themselves in your shoes emotionally.

When they say, “I don’t see why this is such a big deal”, they’re not intentionally trying to belittle your experience. They simply struggle to comprehend why you’re so affected.

When someone brushes off your feelings with this phrase, it’s not because they’re intentionally trying to hurt you. They may just be grappling with empathizing with your situation.

2. “Just get over it”

This one hits close to home for me. I remember a time when I was struggling with an issue at work. It was keeping me up at night, causing stress and anxiety. When I tried to share my feelings with a close friend, their response was, “Just get over it.”

The phrase stung. It felt like my friend was dismissing my feelings, unable to understand the depth of my concern. But later, I realized it wasn’t that they didn’t care, but they didn’t fully grasp how much the situation was affecting me.

When someone tells you to “just get over it,” it’s not always an attempt to belittle your feelings or problems.

They might be struggling to empathize with your situation and are offering what they believe is a practical solution.

Their lack of understanding doesn’t make your feelings any less valid. Remember, empathy isn’t easy for everyone to express or understand.

3. “That’s not my problem”

This phrase, often used by those who lack empathy, carries a strong message of detachment and indifference. The person saying it is essentially distancing themselves from your problem or situation.

While they might not mean to sound harsh, the underlying message is that they don’t feel an emotional connection or responsibility towards your predicament.

The use of this phrase doesn’t necessarily mean they’re unkind or uncaring. It just reflects their difficulty in understanding or sharing the feelings of others.

When someone tells you, “That’s not my problem,” remember that it may not be a personal attack but rather a reflection of their struggle with empathy.

4. “Why are you so sensitive?”

This phrase, often thrown around casually, can be quite hurtful. It implies that there’s something wrong with expressing feelings or being affected by situations.

Individuals who are more sensitive are often more empathetic. They’re more in tune with their own emotions, making it easier for them to understand and relate to the feelings of others.

When someone labels you as “too sensitive”, they might not realize that your heightened emotional response is actually a sign of empathy – something they themselves may struggle with.

When you’re tagged as being “too sensitive”, remember it’s not a flaw. It’s a strength that allows you to empathize with others in a way that some people might find difficult to understand.

5. “You’re overreacting”

Hearing this phrase can feel like a punch to the gut, especially when you’re already grappling with intense emotions. It minimizes your feelings and can make you feel invalidated.

People who lack empathy might use this phrase without realizing how dismissive it comes off. They may not understand the depth of your emotions, causing them to view your reaction as an overreaction.

It’s okay to feel deeply and express your emotions. When someone tells you that you’re overreacting, it’s not a reflection of your feelings being too intense. It’s simply a sign that they may struggle to connect with and understand your emotional experience.

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for expressing your emotions. Your feelings are valid, no matter how deeply you feel them.

6. “Can’t you just be happy?”

This phrase can be quite hurtful, especially when you’re going through a tough time. It oversimplifies complex emotions and suggests that happiness is a choice that one can make on a whim.

People lacking empathy may use this phrase without realizing its impact. They struggle to understand why you can’t just “switch off” your negative emotions and “switch on” happiness.

However, emotions aren’t that simple. They’re not a light switch that we can flick on and off at will. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to experience a range of emotions, and it’s not always possible to just “be happy”.

When someone tells you to “just be happy,” remember that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay not to be okay sometimes.

7. “I don’t understand why you’re upset”

This phrase, often used by those who struggle with empathy, is a clear indication of their difficulty in relating to your emotional state.

They may genuinely not grasp why something has upset you, especially if the same situation wouldn’t affect them in the same way. This lack of understanding can make them seem dismissive or uncaring, even if that’s not their intention.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s emotional responses are different, and what might seem insignificant to one person can be deeply impactful to another.

So, if someone expresses their confusion about your emotional state, remember that it’s likely due to their struggle with empathy rather than a disregard for your feelings.

8. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing”

This phrase can feel dismissive and invalidating. It’s often used by those who have difficulty empathizing with others, as they struggle to understand why you’re reacting the way you are.

According to psychology, the tendency to minimize someone else’s problems or feelings is often a defense mechanism. It’s easier for people who lack empathy to downplay your emotions than to try and connect with them on a deeper level.

When someone tells you that you’re making a big deal out of nothing, remember that it’s not about you or your feelings. It’s about their struggle to empathize.

9. “That doesn’t sound so bad”

I recall sharing my struggles with anxiety with a friend. I poured my heart out, explaining how it was affecting my everyday life. Their response was simply, “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

This phrase, while seemingly harmless, can feel quite dismissive when you’re sharing something deeply personal. People who struggle with empathy might use it without realizing how it diminishes the significance of your feelings or experiences.

In such situations, it’s important to remember that your experiences and feelings are valid, regardless of how others perceive them.

10. “You’re just being dramatic”

This phrase is often a clear indicator of a lack of empathy. It suggests that your emotions are exaggerated or not genuine, which can feel incredibly invalidating.

The most crucial thing to remember is that your emotions are valid, regardless of how others may perceive them. You’re not being dramatic for expressing your feelings or reacting to situations in your own unique way.

Your emotions are real, valid, and important. Never let anyone make you feel otherwise.