People who lack emotional intelligence often misinterpret these 10 social cues

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | September 4, 2024, 9:53 pm

Ever been in one of those weird moments where someone just doesn’t seem to catch the vibe?

Sometimes, people miss social hints, and it can lead to some awkward or even tense situations.

A lot of the time, this happens because they’re not too sharp on emotional intelligence.

You see, getting social cues right is a big part of understanding emotions, but it’s something a lot of people have trouble with.

So, let’s dive into these 10 social cues that people who lack emotional intelligence often misinterpret.

You might end up learning a thing or two that could make your own chats and hangouts go smoother!

1) Non-verbal communication

Have you ever been in a conversation where the words being said and the body language just didn’t match?

Well, let me tell you this is a classic sign of non-verbal communication, and it’s something that people who lack emotional intelligence often miss.

Non-verbal cues can include things like:

  • Facial expressions
  • Body posture
  • Even the distance someone maintains from you during a conversation.

Here’s the thing:

These signals can often tell you more about what a person is feeling than their words.

For instance, if someone is saying they’re fine but their arms are crossed tightly over their chest and they won’t meet your gaze, chances are they’re not as okay as they claim.

In a nutshell, recognizing these discrepancies is an important part of emotional intelligence.

2) Sarcasm

Sarcasm can be tricky to navigate, even for those with high emotional intelligence.

But for those who struggle in this area?

Understanding sarcasm might seem like trying to decipher an alien language!

Just think about it.

When someone uses sarcasm, they’re saying one thing but meaning the exact opposite.

It’s often used to express humor or irony.

However, people lacking in emotional intelligence may take the words at face value.

For example, if someone says “Oh great, more paperwork” with a heavy sigh and an eye roll, they’re likely not thrilled about the prospect.

However, these folks might interpret this as genuine enthusiasm.

And they couldn’t be more wrong. 

The key to understanding sarcasm is to pay attention to the tone of voice and body language, not just the words being said.

3) Silence

When engaged in a conversation, we tend to focus on the words being said.

But did you know that silence can be just as telling? It’s true!

You see, silence, or the lack of response, is a social cue that people with low emotional intelligence frequently misinterpret.

When someone goes quiet in a conversation, it could signal:

  • Discomfort
  • Disagreement
  • Contemplation

For instance, if you’re sharing a controversial opinion and the other person suddenly falls silent, they might disagree but not want to start an argument.

Alternatively, they might simply be processing what you’ve said.

However, these individuals might misinterpret this silence as agreement or acceptance.

In reality, silence is a powerful form of communication that should not be overlooked.

4) Empathy cues

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another and it’s a key part of emotional intelligence.

Empathy cues are signals that someone is trying to connect with you on an emotional level.

It could be a sympathetic nod when you’re sharing a difficult experience, a warm smile when you share the happy news, or even a gentle touch on the arm for reassurance.

You might be nodding yourself while reading this. 

However, those with low emotional intelligence might not acknowledge these cues for what they are.

As a result, they face difficulty building strong and meaningful relationships, as these cues are crucial for them. 

5) Interruptions

We all know how frustrating it can be to be interrupted mid-sentence.

But did you know that interruptions can also serve as social cues?

Indeed!

How and when someone interrupts you can tell you a lot about their thoughts and feelings.

If someone frequently interrupts you, it might indicate a signal of impatience or a desire to control the conversation or simply that they’re not really listening or don’t value what you’re saying. 

On the other hand, if someone interrupts to ask clarifying questions or express agreement, it shows engagement and interest in what you’re saying.

However, individuals lacking emotional intelligence might not pick up on these nuances.

They might see all interruptions as rude or dismissive, missing the potential positive intentions behind some of them.

In essence, there are different types of interruptions, and learning them can help improve your communication and understanding of others.

6) Tone of voice

The way someone says something can often be just as important as what they’re saying.

The truth is changes in tone of voice can convey a wide range of emotions, from happiness and excitement to anger and irritation.

Missing these cues can be the difference between a pleasant conversation to one blowing out of nowhere.

There’s a variety of tones.

For instance, a high, fast-paced tone might indicate excitement or nervousness, while a low, slow tone could convey sadness or disappointment.

Even subtle changes, like a slight edge to someone’s voice, can indicate annoyance or impatience.

In short, these folks might focus solely on the words being said and miss the emotional cues delivered through the tone of voice

7) Expressions of vulnerability

Opening up about our feelings and experiences can be a profoundly human way to connect with others.

Wondering why?

Expressions of vulnerability such as sharing fears, past failures, or personal struggles, are powerful social cues that invite empathy and deeper connection.

These moments can forge trust and mutual understanding, building the foundation for lasting relationships.

However, people with low emotional intelligence might misinterpret these cues.

Instead of recognizing the invitation for empathy, they might see these expressions as signs of weakness or “too much information.”

Frequently, they might respond with discomfort or even judgment, missing the opportunity to strengthen the connection.

8) Defensive body language

People may not always say when they’re feeling threatened or uncomfortable, but their body language usually gives them away.

Let’s hear some examples of defensive body language: 

Don’t hesitate, these are all clear signs that someone is not at ease.

Despite the obviousness of these signs, individuals with low emotional intelligence often misinterpret them.

They might continue to push their agenda or ignore the discomfort of the other person.

As a consequence, this lack of awareness can lead to unnecessary conflict and damaged relationships.

So, it’s crucial to pay attention to these cues and respond with sensitivity and respect.

After all, communication is not just about getting your point across, but also about understanding and respecting the feelings of others.

9) Over-compensation

Sometimes, people over-compensate in their behavior or conversation to hide their true feelings or intentions.

Now, these might seem just getting more and more difficult!

Examples of this could be talking excessively when they’re actually nervous, acting overly confident to hide insecurities, or being overly friendly to mask disinterest.

These over-compensations are social cues that can indicate someone’s genuine emotions or state of mind.

However, individuals lacking in emotional intelligence often take these behaviors at face value.

Consider that they might mistake excessive talkativeness for enthusiasm, overconfidence for competence, or excessive friendliness for genuine interest.

Now, you can imagine the frequency of misunderstandings and disappointment for those who are not emotionally cued up. 

10) Attempts to change the subject

Last but not least.

When someone consistently tries to steer the conversation away from a certain topic, it’s often a sign that they’re uncomfortable or uninterested. This could be subtly changing the subject, glossing over a topic, or outright stating they’d rather not talk about it.

Here’s the thing:

These are important social cues that signal someone’s comfort levels and interests. 

The risk of missing these signs?

They might continue to discuss the uncomfortable topic or misinterpret the disinterest as forgetfulness or lack of attention.

In essence, recognizing when someone tries to change the subject and respecting their wish to do so not only shows emotional intelligence but also respect for their feelings and boundaries.

After all, it’s a crucial part of maintaining healthy and comfortable interactions with others.