I like to think of myself as a fairly confident person. But it certainly hasn’t always been that way.

For starters, when I was a teenager I felt so insecure about the way I looked that I cut up school photos into tiny pieces because I couldn’t even stand to look at them.

Even now I’ve invested years of work into building greater self-love and self-esteem I still have my bad days.

We can all glance in the mirror sometimes and before we know it have made some sort of unkind comment.

Whilst insecurity about how you look affects how you feel about yourself on the inside, that doesn’t mean there aren’t telltale signs on the outside.

In fact, people who lack confidence in how they look often display these 8 behaviors without even realizing it.

1) They hate having their photo taken

I can be really uncomfortable having my picture taken. I don’t know what to do with myself.

I just overthink it and that has an awkward impact on the way I hold my body.

You can see the strained look in my facial expression and it gives off a very weird vibe.

That’s one of the reasons why I am pretty camera-shy. 

Even though I certainly don’t dislike my appearance, I still lack some confidence in the way I look when it comes to having photos taken.

These sorts of behaviors can be really common.

Have you ever found yourself saying, “OMG please delete that one, I look awful!”.

In an ideal world, photos should simply be about capturing a moment not showing off. 

But our reaction to pics of ourselves can highlight our subtle insecurities and negative self-talk when it comes to our appearance.

2) They put themselves down

Thinking we look bad in photos is just one of the many ways we can end up putting ourselves down.

Thanks to the inner critic lurking in our head, we might be feeding ourselves unhelpful bullshit about our looks pretty much non-stop.

“My thighs look so fat in this”.

“Yikes, I look like I’ve been dragged through a head backward”.

“Everyone else at the gym is in much better shape than me”.

When someone bad mouths themselves, it’s always a clue that highlights a lack of confidence.

The same even can be said for the humble brag. You know, when someone says something negative as a way of actually fishing for a compliment.

Their desire for validation and approval is still a sign that they don’t have a healthy level of self-esteem. That’s why they want other people to top it up for them.

3) They were ill-fitting clothes to cover up their body

When we have a problem with how our body looks, the instinctive response may be to hide it.

It’s got very little to do with your size, and everything to do with your attitude about yourself.

Conditions like body dysmorphia can give someone a distorted vision of how they look. It doesn’t matter what physical changes they could make, they’d still only see flaws.

Always disguising their body in oversized clothing that’s far too big for them can be a sign that someone feels ashamed. 

Let’s be real, it can be challenging to embrace your perfectly natural shape in a society that shoves unrealistic expectations down your throat.

Sometimes when people cover up entirely, it’s almost as if they are trying to not be seen at all.

4) They wear attention-grabbing clothes

On the other end of the spectrum, rather than try to go unnoticed, some insecure people may go the opposite way.

They are looking for other people’s validation in order to feel worthy. So they will purposely opt for “look at me” wardrobe options.

Perhaps that’s by showing a lot of flesh, or it might be through making unusual and striking clothing choices.

Of course, what we wear is also a way of expressing ourselves. So we cannot assume that someone is doing so out of insecurity.

For many people, fashion is a fun way to explore their personality. But some people may be doing it as a mask to hide behind.

It becomes a bold way of presenting themselves that hides a lack of confidence they actually feel deep inside.

5) They can’t accept a compliment

Modesty can be an admirable quality. But it’s still important to be able to recognize what is awesome about us too.

That certainly doesn’t mean you have to gloat or brag about all your best bits. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with embracing them.

When someone tells you how great you look, how do you respond?

It is with a “thank you”? Or do you actually disagree?

Because without being conscious of it, plenty of us bat compliments away with a self-deprecating statement.

It can feel almost embarrassing to hear nice things said about us.

But perhaps the reason why is because you struggle to believe the good things. And that suggests you may still have some work to do around learning to fully love the skin you’re in.

6) They take health and beauty care to the extreme

Sure, everyone draws the line differently. So how do we know when taking a pride and effort in your appearance has gone too far?

I’d say when it becomes:

• An obsession
• Destructive

For example:

The people who spend 12 hours a day at the gym building more and more muscles, taking steroids to get bigger, and strictly restricting their diet to achieve their look.

Or the people who can’t stay away from plastic surgery or cosmetic procedures and fail to notice how they are distorting their faces in the process.

I’m certainly not trying to be judgemental, but it suggests some mental health problems.

It’s as though they can no longer objectively see themselves, and the likely cause is a lack of self-esteem.  

7) They find flirty eye contact almost impossible

This speaks to a general lack of confidence.

Sometimes that can be about the way they look. Sometimes it’s simply a sign of an unsure personality.

There’s no denying that eye contact is powerful.

We especially use eye contact as a form of flirting.

But people who are lacking in confidence may struggle to utilize this to show their attraction.

They feel self-conscious about having eyes on them, so they look away to minimize the discomfort of holding someone’s gaze.

8) They constantly compare themselves

Comparrisonitus is becoming increasingly difficult to avoid thanks to social media.

Don’t get me wrong, as a naturally nosey individual I love how we can peer into other people’s lives.

It’s fun to snoop.

But the downside of that is the little green-eyed monster making an appearance.

A brief flick through your feed can have you quickly lamenting that you don’t have the frame of a supermodel.

Envy-inducing posts are rife, whether that’s from celebrities or our friends and acquaintances.

Filters provide an increasingly distorted image of what people really look like. That leaves many of us holding ourselves up to impossible and unreal standards.

We should all cut ourselves some slack

We hear all the time about the importance of confidence. But we also know that it can feel a lot easier said than done.

The good news is that confidence isn’t something we’ve either got or not. It’s a muscle that we flex and build.

That means that you can do things that build your confidence and improve your self-esteem.

As you do, you will see the subtle shifts that highlight your growing self-esteem.