Empathy is what helps us connect with others by understanding their feelings and responding with care.

But what happens when someone struggles with empathy?

How can we spot it, and what does it look like in daily life?

People with low empathy often show certain behaviors that might make them seem distant or uncaring.

They might not react emotionally the way you expect, find it hard to see things from someone else’s point of view, or miss emotional cues.

This can make them appear cold or indifferent, but it’s usually not intentional — it’s just how they’re built.

But how can you know if you’re dealing with someone with low empathy? Here are eight behaviors to watch out for. 

1) Limited emotional response

Empathy allows us to understand and share the feelings of others.

It’s like stepping into someone else’s shoes and experiencing their emotions.

People with a low level of empathy often have a muted emotional response.

This makes it hard for them to comprehend what others are feeling in a given situation.

Imagine this. Your friend just lost their job and is sharing their anxieties with you.

Most people would naturally feel a wave of sympathy, maybe even a pang of worry.

But someone with low empathy? Their reaction might be as bland as commenting on the weather.

This limited emotional response can make them seem aloof, detached or even cold-hearted.

They’re not necessarily trying to be insensitive – they’re just not wired to respond emotionally in the same way others do.

2) Struggle with perspective-taking

Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes is a crucial part of empathy. It’s about understanding their viewpoint, their feelings, their struggles.

People with low empathy often have a hard time with this. They struggle to see things from a perspective other than their own.

To illustrate this, let me share a personal example.

A while back, I had a friend who always seemed to dismiss my worries about work stress.

Whenever I’d vent about a tough day, they’d brush it off and say something like, “Well, at least you have a job.”

At first, I thought they were just trying to help me see the bright side. But as it continued, I realized they were struggling to empathize with my situation.

They couldn’t grasp how my work-related stress was affecting me because they weren’t experiencing it themselves.

It’s not that they’re intentionally being insensitive – they might just genuinely struggle to view things from your perspective.

3) Difficulty recognizing emotions

A key component of empathy is the ability to recognize and understand others’ emotions.

This involves reading facial expressions, body language, and picking up on subtle cues in conversation.

Those with low empathy struggle with this aspect.

They often misinterpret or completely miss these emotional signals.

The human face can produce over 7,000 different expressions, each linked to a unique emotional state.

It’s like a constantly changing map of our inner world.

People with low empathy might find this map difficult to read.

They might mistake sadness for anger, or anxiety for excitement.

This inability to accurately recognize emotions can lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships.

It’s not that they’re deliberately ignoring these signals – they just have a hard time deciphering them.

That’s another sign of low empathy to be aware of.

4) Lack of emotional contagion

Emotion contagion, the phenomenon where we ‘catch’ feelings from those around us, is a common human experience.

It’s why we feel happy at parties or tense during arguments – we’re picking up on the emotions of others.

People with low empathy don’t often experience this.

They can be in a room full of laughter and not feel a twinge of joy, or sit through a tear-jerking movie without shedding a single tear.

It’s not that they’re heartless or uncaring.

They simply don’t have the same emotional mirror system that most of us do, making it hard for them to catch or ‘feel’ the emotions of those around them.

This lack of emotional contagion is another behavior often displayed by individuals with low empathy, and it’s something to be mindful of in our interactions with others.

5) Struggles in relationships

Relationships, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, thrive on mutual understanding and empathy.

It’s about feeling seen, heard, and emotionally connected.

For those with low empathy, forming and maintaining these bonds can be a challenging task.

They often struggle to offer the emotional support that relationships require.

Imagine being upset and turning to a loved one for comfort, only to be met with a blank stare or a dismissive comment.

It can feel incredibly lonely, almost as if you’re speaking different emotional languages.

This struggle in relationships isn’t a deliberate attempt to hurt or alienate others.

It’s simply a manifestation of their low empathy – a difficulty in understanding and responding to the emotional needs of others.

6) Preference for logical over emotional arguments

Arguments and disagreements are a part of life.

Most of us try to balance logic and emotion in these instances, understanding that both play a crucial role in human communication.

However, people with low empathy tend to lean heavily towards logical arguments, often disregarding the emotional aspects involved.

They value facts, figures, and rational thinking, often overlooking the feelings of others involved in the conversation.

I’ve experienced this firsthand. I remember having a falling out with a friend over a miscommunication.

I was trying to explain how their actions made me feel, but they kept focusing on the ‘facts’ of the situation, completely dismissing my feelings.

It felt like talking to a brick wall.

People with low empathy aren’t intentionally being dismissive or cold.

They just prioritize logic over emotion in their communication, which can sometimes come off as insensitive or uncaring. 

7) Difficulty with empathy-based moral reasoning

Most of us consider how our actions will affect others before we make a decision.

This empathy-based moral reasoning helps us avoid causing unnecessary harm or discomfort to others.

People with low empathy struggle with this type of reasoning.

They might make decisions that seem selfish or thoughtless, without considering the emotional impact on those around them.

For example, they might cancel plans at the last minute without thinking about how it might disappoint or inconvenience the other person.

Or they might make a harsh comment without considering how it could hurt someone’s feelings.

Again, it’s not that they’re intentionally trying to be hurtful.

They just struggle to factor in the emotional consequences of their actions when making decisions.

This is another key behavior to watch out for in people with low empathy.

Recognizing it can help us navigate our interactions with them more effectively.

8) Absence of comforting behavior

Comforting someone in distress is a fundamental expression of empathy. It’s about acknowledging their pain and offering support.

People with low empathy often struggle with this. When someone is upset, they might not know how to respond appropriately.

They might seem uncomfortable or even indifferent, not out of cruelty, but because they genuinely don’t know how to react.

It’s essential to understand that these behaviors are not indicative of a person’s worth or character.

People with low empathy are not heartless or uncaring – they just experience and express emotions differently.

Empathy can be nurtured and developed over time with patience, understanding, and a little guidance. It’s never too late to learn.

Empathy for the unempathetic

Understanding empathy and recognizing when someone lacks it can help us build better relationships.

People with low empathy might seem distant or uncaring, but often, they don’t intend to be.

They just experience emotions differently.

Showing empathy for those who struggle with it is just as important as growing it in ourselves.

With the right approach, we can create stronger and more meaningful connections, even with those who find empathy difficult.