Falling in love is a profound experience. But believe it or not, there are folks who may not have truly felt its magic, even if they think they have.

Often, this is reflected in certain behavioral patterns that they exhibit unknowingly.

Now, as someone who’s been around the love block a few times, I’ve picked up on some of these telltale signs. Today, I’m going to share with you eight behaviors that typically suggest someone has never truly been in love.

So stick around and you might just learn something new about love, or even about yourself.

1) They prioritize their independence

We all treasure our independence, no doubt about it. But for those who haven’t really been in love, that independence tends to be front and center.

They’ve got this knack for safeguarding their personal space and routines, which isn’t a bad thing at all. But it can make it tough to invite someone else into their world completely.

Those who’ve tasted love get that relationships mean a bit of give and take. Yet, for those still waiting for that spark, the idea of compromising might feel a bit foreign.

Hey, that doesn’t mean they won’t find love eventually. It’s just that until then, they might not realize the magic of balancing freedom with shared adventures in a relationship.

2) They’re easily bored in relationships

At first glance, it might seem a bit strange. Isn’t love all about those heart-fluttering moments and fireworks?

Well, not always. You see, for those who haven’t quite dived into the depths of love, they might struggle with easily getting bored in relationships.

Sure, that initial spark might dim over time, but folks who are truly smitten find joy in the everyday moments with their partner. They value the comfort of routine and shared experiences, no matter how ordinary they may seem.

On the flip side, those still searching for love might mistake this coziness for boredom, always chasing the next big thrill. It’s that classic case of not realizing what you have until it’s gone.

3) They’re overly self-reliant

I’ve noticed that people who’ve never truly been in love often exhibit a strong streak of self-reliance. It’s almost as if they believe they don’t need anyone else in their lives.

And sure, being self-sufficient is a great quality, but love is also about learning to lean on someone else, to let them in, and to trust them with your vulnerabilities.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss the importance of interdependence in a relationship. It’s about finding the right balance between looking after yourself and allowing someone else to look after you too.

Those who haven’t been in love may find it hard to understand this balance. They might see relying on their partner as a sign of weakness or fear losing themselves in the relationship.

But true love means trusting your partner enough to let them help you when you need it.

4) They’re overly critical of potential partners

You know that saying, “The course of true love never did run smooth”? Well, it’s true! 

But what’s also true is that a lot of folks who’ve never really been in love seem to have this checklist in their heads, listing off all the qualities their perfect partner should have. And if someone doesn’t tick all the boxes, they’re out.

But here’s something I’ve picked up over the years—there’s no such thing as a flawless partner. Everybody’s got their quirks and imperfections.

Real love is about embracing someone for who they are, flaws and all. It’s about seeing past those imperfections and loving them for the unique individual they are.

5) They have a pessimistic view of love

You’ve probably crossed paths with those who always seem to wear a cynical lens when it comes to love. They brush it off as merely a chemical reaction or a passing emotion not worth the hassle.

I used to be one of them. But as time rolled on, I came to see that love is seeing someone’s potential and striving to bring out the best in each other.

When it comes to love, the experience itself is worth it, regardless of the outcome. As Alfred Lord Tennyson famously said: “’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” 

Those who haven’t truly experienced love might be carrying old wounds or fears that cloud their perception. It’s like suddenly seeing the world in color after a lifetime in black and white—it changes everything.

6) They’re always looking for “the one”

As I’ve navigated through the ups and downs of love and relationships, I’ve encountered countless folks who are perpetually on the quest for “the one”.

They cling to the belief that somewhere out there exists a perfect soulmate destined to whisk them away and fix everything.

But here’s the thing: Love isn’t about stumbling upon the flawless person; it’s about embracing someone’s imperfections perfectly.

So, if you’re always holding out for “the one”, you could be overlooking the many amazing individuals who cross your path. Why not loosen the reins on your heart a bit and see where love leads you?

And hey, if you’d like to join me on this journey of exploration and discovery, feel free to follow me on Facebook where I share my latest insights and articles.

7) They avoid deep emotional connection

Let’s cut to the chase. Opening up emotionally? Terrifying. It means laying yourself bare, showing your true colors, and that’s no walk in the park.

For those who haven’t really dipped their toes in love’s waters, forging that deep emotional bond can feel like scaling Mount Everest.

It’s like a defense mechanism kicks in—if you don’t let someone in, they can’t hurt you, right? But here’s the kicker: shutting down emotionally also robs you of the chance to dive into love’s deepest depths.

Love isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s about weathering storms together, hashing out disagreements, riding the emotional rollercoaster. It’s about shared moments, digging deep, and growing side by side.

8) They don’t recognize love when it comes

Let’s face it. Love is complex and often hard to define. People who’ve never truly been in love may have a hard time recognizing it when it finally comes knocking on their door.

They might be so busy looking for the fireworks and grand gestures that they overlook the small moments of intimacy, understanding, and shared silence that are the hallmarks of true love.

As the renowned writer Maya Angelou once said, “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” 

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

If you’ve never truly felt the pull of love, here’s a nugget of advice: don’t get too caught up in chasing an idealized image of romance.

Instead, open yourself up to the possibility of love in its raw, imperfect form. Be patient with yourself and others, understanding that real connections take time to build.

Don’t be afraid to let your guard down and be vulnerable—it’s often in those moments that true intimacy flourishes.

And above all, remember that love isn’t about finding someone flawless, but rather someone who’s perfectly imperfect for you. 

To send you off on a high note, I’d recommend giving this insightful video by Justin Brown a watch. In it, Justin dives into the importance of shared values and how growth and mutual support can transform a relationship. Trust me, it’s well worth your time!

Through this exploration of behaviors of those who’ve never truly been in love, I hope you’ve found some insights that resonate with your own experiences or observations. Remember, love is a journey, not a destination. So take your time, be open to learning, and enjoy the ride.