People who have been unfriended on social media usually display these 9 behaviors (without realizing it)

Ava Sinclair by Ava Sinclair | September 27, 2024, 11:29 pm

I used to think social media was this fantastic way to stay connected, but then I found myself getting unfriended—more times than I’d like to admit.

At first, I brushed it off. Maybe they didn’t like my vacation photos, or I shared one too many memes.

But then I started wondering: What if I was doing something to push them away?

If you’ve ever noticed your friend list shrinking and wondered why, you’re not alone.

Sometimes, we get a little too comfortable online and forget that what we post can have real consequences.

That’s why I’m laying it all out here—nine behaviors that might be the reason someone clicked “unfriend” on you. 

1) Oversharing

In the digital age, there’s a fine line between being open and oversharing.

We all have that one friend on social media who tends to post every minute detail of their life.

From what they had for breakfast to their latest emotional breakdown, they leave nothing to the imagination.

This is a common behavior among people who often find themselves being unfriended on social media. In fact, research has shown that oversharing can have tangible consequences.

Peluchette and Karl (2008) found that college-aged adults are aware of how inappropriate posts can affect their image, especially when trying to secure internships or jobs.

If a friend overshares and tags them in an unflattering post, they may unfriend that person to avoid damaging their professional reputation.

It’s not that your friends aren’t interested in your life, it’s just that there’s a limit to how much they want to know.

Social media is a public platform. Not every aspect of your private life needs to be broadcasted to your entire friend list.

So, if you’ve noticed a decrease in your friend count recently, it might be time to reconsider how much you’re sharing.

2) Ignoring social media etiquette

You know, I’ve always believed in the importance of good manners, and the same applies to social media.

A few years back, I made a rookie mistake. I was new to Facebook and didn’t know much about its unwritten rules.

I found a hilarious meme and decided to share it on my timeline. Little did I realize, it was a bit too edgy for some of my friends. I ended up offending a few people, and they unfriended me.

That was a wake-up call for me. I realized that not everyone shares the same sense of humor and it’s crucial to respect that difference.

Since then, I’ve been careful about what I post and always try to consider how it might be interpreted by different people.

Ignoring social media etiquette is a common behavior among those who get unfriended.

What you find funny or interesting might not be the same for everyone else.

3) Excessive tagging

Tagging friends in posts or photos can be a fun way to share experiences and memories. But when done excessively, it can quickly become a nuisance.

The problem with excessive tagging is that it can clutter your friends’ timelines and notifications.

Not everyone appreciates having their feed filled with photos or posts that they may not have a direct connection to.

So, if you’re someone who tags friends in every single post or photo, you might want to rethink your strategy.

It’s always considerate to ask before tagging someone or at least ensure it’s something they’d be interested in or appreciate being associated with.

4) Negativity overload

Social media platforms are meant to connect us, to share our joys, experiences, and even our challenges.

However, if your posts are constantly filled with negativity, it can put a damper on people’s social media experience.

Nobody enjoys scrolling through their feed only to be confronted with one negative post after another.

Whether it’s constant complaining, political rants, or endless pessimism, too much negativity can make your friends hit the unfriend button.

Now, this doesn’t mean you should only post about rainbows and butterflies. It’s completely okay to share your struggles or voice your opinions. But remember, balance is important here.

Try to mix in some positivity with your posts. Share a funny video, a beautiful photo, or a heartwarming story once in a while.

It’s not only going to make your feed more enjoyable for others, but also can help you nurture a positive mindset for yourself.

5) Inappropriate comments

Engaging with friends’ posts via comments is a great way to maintain connections and show interest in their lives. However, be mindful of the nature of your comments.

Inappropriate comments, whether they’re offensive, rude, or simply out of context can lead to you being unfriended.

Even if your intention was to be funny or sarcastic, it might not always come across that way in written form.

Just like in real life, it’s important to treat others with respect and kindness on social media. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, it’s probably best not to type it in a comment.

So whenever you’re about to post a comment, take a few seconds to read it over and make sure it’s not something that could be misunderstood or cause offense.

A little bit of thoughtfulness can go a long way in maintaining your online friendships.

6) Lack of interaction

At its core, social media is meant for social interaction. You like, comment, share each others’ posts, and engage with people.

When you don’t interact with your friends’ posts, it can make them feel like you’re not interested in their lives.

I’ve noticed that some of my friends who were unfriended often had one thing in common.

They rarely interacted with others’ posts. It wasn’t that they were intentionally being cold or distant, they just didn’t take the time to engage.

But here’s the thing about social media – it’s a two-way street. If you want people to care about what you post, you need to show the same interest in their posts too.

So, if you’ve been scrolling past your friends’ updates without a second thought, perhaps it’s time to change that habit.

A simple like, a thoughtful comment, or a quick share can mean a lot to someone.

7) Being overly argumentative

A while back, I found myself drawn into a heated debate on social media. The topic was something I felt passionately about, and I wanted to make my viewpoint heard.

However, as the argument escalated, I noticed several friends distancing themselves from me. Some even unfriended me.

That was when I realized the downside of being overly argumentative on social media.

Interestingly, research on Facebook arguing behaviors reveals similar patterns. A content analysis study found that people tend to argue most about public topics, engaging in somewhat complex arguments.

The goal is often to persuade others, yet most Facebook arguments end without resolution or relational consequences.

What’s more, individuals who argue frequently are more likely to have friends who also engage in frequent arguments.

While it’s important to stand up for what you believe in, turning every discussion into a debate can be exhausting for your friends.

People visit social media to unwind and connect, not to get dragged into endless arguments.

8) Posting controversial content

There’s no denying that social media platforms are a great place to express your views and opinions. However, constantly posting controversial content can lead to some of your friends hitting the unfriend button.

Content that incites hatred, spreads misinformation, or disrespects certain groups of people can make your friends uncomfortable.

Not everyone wants their feed filled with contentious topics all the time.

It’s always a good idea to consider the potential impact of your posts. What you post online is a reflection of who you are.

So, strive to create a positive and respectful social media presence that respects diversity and promotes understanding.

Respecting others’ perspectives doesn’t mean you have to suppress your own. You can foster an environment where all views are heard and respected.

9) Not respecting boundaries

The most crucial thing to remember about social media is that it’s all about respecting others’ boundaries.

Whether it’s their privacy, their opinions, or their comfort levels, failing to respect these boundaries can lead to unfriending.

This could include actions like sending unsolicited messages, sharing private conversations publicly, or making unwelcome remarks about someone’s personal life or appearance.

These behaviors can make your friends feel uncomfortable and invade their personal space.

Respecting boundaries shows that you are a considerate and respectful person. So make sure to treat others online as you would in person, with kindness, respect, and understanding.

Final thoughts

When I look back at my own social media habits, I can totally see where I went wrong.

A snarky comment here, a little oversharing there—none of it seemed like a big deal at the time. But, here’s the thing: Behind every avatar is a person who, just like you, values boundaries and respect.

So, the next time you log in, maybe think twice before hitting “post.”

We all get caught up in the rush of likes and shares, but it’s the connections—those real, human ones—that matter.