Ever felt like you should be happier than you are? Maybe on paper, everything is lined up for you—career, relationships, even the lifestyle you once aimed for—but a lingering feeling of dissatisfaction just won’t go away.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. In fact, it’s surprisingly common for people who seem to have it all to struggle with unhappiness. Experts often point to subtle patterns of behavior that can keep us feeling unfulfilled, even when life looks great from the outside.

What’s fascinating is that most of us don’t even realize we’re doing these things. These habits can feel like second nature or even seem harmless at first. But over time, they subtly chip away at our sense of happiness and contentment.

Today, we’re diving into six such behaviors. Recognizing and addressing even a few of them can make a world of difference.

Let’s dive in. 

1) Perfectionism

You might think that striving for perfection would make you happy. After all, isn’t it good to aim for the best?

Well, the reality is more complex. Perfectionism can actually be a barrier to happiness.

People who seem to have everything going for them often set extremely high standards for themselves. They’re never satisfied with ‘good enough’ – everything has to be perfect.

This constant pursuit of perfection can lead to stress, anxiety, and a sense of never being good enough – regardless of how much they achieve. Experts like psychologist Mark Travers, have even noted that it can lead to depression. 

Sound like you? Give yourself permission to be less than perfect, and in the process, you’ll find greater contentment.

2) Constant comparison

I’ve found myself in this trap before, and it’s a slippery slope. 

You see, even with a fulfilling career and a loving family, I often caught myself comparing my life to others.

On social media, friends from high school seemed to be living glamorous lives, filled with exotic vacations and fancy dinners. Colleagues seemed to be moving up the ladder faster than me. It felt like everyone else had something that I didn’t.

This constant comparison eroded my satisfaction with my own life. Instead of feeling grateful for what I had, I focused on what was missing.

Comparison is a common behavior among people who have a lot but still don’t feel happy. They’re always looking at others and measuring their own success against them, often feeling inadequate as a result.

The key to overcoming this is learning to appreciate your own journey, rather than constantly comparing it to someone else’s highlight reel. As advised by psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson,  “Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today”

3) Neglecting self-care

In today’s fast-paced world, many of us are guilty of putting our work, responsibilities, or others before ourselves. We’re often so busy trying to maintain our success that we forget to take care of our own physical and mental well-being. 

This is a big mistake. As noted by experts like those at Psych Central, a lack of self-care can lead to a host of negative outcomes like low energy, feeling hopeless, reduced performance at work, and even worsening anxiety and depression symptoms. 

It’s not selfish to prioritize self-care. In fact, taking time to relax, exercise, eat well, or simply do something you enjoy can significantly improve your sense of well-being and happiness.

4) Overemphasis on material possessions

We live in a world where material wealth is often equated to success and happiness. But does having more really mean being happier?

People who have a lot going for them may become fixated on acquiring material possessions – the latest tech gadgets, designer clothes, luxury cars. They believe these items will make them happier, but often, the joy is fleeting.

In reality, an overemphasis on material possessions can leave people feeling empty and unfulfilled. Despite their wealth, they may feel like something is missing, leading to a constant pursuit of the next big purchase.

Understanding that true happiness often comes from experiences, relationships, and personal growth – not things – can be a significant step towards lasting contentment.

5) Neglecting meaningful relationships

In the pursuit of success, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. One behavior I’ve noticed among these individuals, is neglecting their relationships.

They may be so focused on work or personal goals that they forget to nurture their connections with family and friends. But at the end of the day, no amount of success can replace the joy and fulfillment that comes from meaningful relationships.

Again this is well-backed up by research, perhaps no more clearly than the longest-ever study on happiness, Harvard’s Study Of Adult Development. Using more than 80 years of data, the researchers have found that the best predictor of happiness and even longevity is not money, fame, or career success but our relationships. 

Making time for those who matter most can bring more happiness than any career achievement or material possession ever could. It’s these heart-to-heart connections that often bring us the deepest sense of happiness and fulfillment.

6) Ignoring their inner voice

Perhaps, the most important thing to remember is this: true happiness often comes from listening to our own inner voice.

These folks often silence their inner voice in favor of societal expectations or external validation. They might pursue a career they’re not passionate about, or uphold a lifestyle that doesn’t align with their values, just because it’s what they think they’re supposed to do.

Listening to and honoring our inner voice can guide us toward what truly makes us happy. It’s about aligning our lives with our core values and passions, even if it means going against the grain.

Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. Trusting yourself is the first step towards genuine happiness.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these behaviors isn’t easy, especially if they’ve been part of your life for a while. But the good news is that small shifts in mindset and habits can create lasting change. 

If you see yourself in any of these patterns, take it as an opportunity to refocus on what truly brings you joy, rather than just what looks good from the outside.

With a little self-awareness and a willingness to let go of what’s holding you back, you’ll be well on your way to a more fulfilled and joyful life.