Building a strong relationship with your adult kids can be one of the most rewarding—and challenging—things you’ll ever do.

It’s not like when they were little, and you could just set the rules.

Now, it takes a whole new approach.

It means learning to step back, giving them space to make their own choices, but still being there with a guiding hand.

It’s about respect, open conversations, and recognizing that they’re navigating life as adults now, too.

Those who really nail this balance seem to do a few things differently.

They’ve got habits that make their relationships thrive.

In this article, we’ll dive into 8 things these people do to keep close bonds with their adult children. 

1) Open communication

A cornerstone of any successful relationship is open and honest communication, and this is especially vital when it comes to parent-adult child relationships.

Those who have a great relationship with their adult children don’t shy away from difficult conversations.

They understand that their children are adults now, capable of handling mature discussions and even disagreements.

This isn’t always comfortable, and it can be challenging to navigate, especially if you’re used to a more authoritative parenting style.

But it’s crucial for building mutual respect and understanding.

Creating a space where your adult child feels comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns can significantly strengthen your relationship.

It’s not about always agreeing.

It’s about listening, understanding, and appreciating each other’s perspectives.

2) Respect their independence

We all know that as our children grow, they become more independent. It’s a natural and necessary part of life.

But as a parent, it can be a difficult transition to make.

I remember when my own daughter first moved out.

I was so used to being involved in her daily life, helping her make decisions and solve problems.

It was hard for me to step back and let her handle things on her own.

But I quickly realized that my role as a parent had shifted.

She wasn’t a child anymore; she was an adult who needed to make her own choices and learn from her own mistakes.

So, I started asking for her opinion more often, involving her in family decisions, and giving her the space to live her own life.

I made it a point to respect her independence and treat her as an equal.

And you know what?

Our relationship has never been better.

She appreciates that I see her as an adult, not just my little girl.

And I still get to be there for her, just in a different way.

If you have adult children, remember to respect their independence.

They’ll appreciate it more than you know, and it could make all the difference in your relationship.

3) Show unconditional love and acceptance

Let’s be honest.

Our children are going to make decisions we don’t necessarily agree with.

They have their own lives, their own dreams, and their own paths to follow.

But one thing that people with great relationships with their adult children do differently is showing unconditional love and acceptance, even when they don’t agree with their children’s choices.

A study found that parental acceptance and support are key factors in fostering healthy relationships with adult children, leading to greater emotional well-being and a willingness to communicate openly about life’s challenges.

This doesn’t mean you can’t express your concerns or share your wisdom.

It simply means that your love and acceptance aren’t conditional on them making the ‘right’ decisions according to your perspective.

When your adult child feels loved and accepted for who they are, it fosters a sense of security and trust in your relationship.

They’ll feel comfortable coming to you with their challenges and successes, knowing that your love for them remains constant, regardless of the circumstances.

4) Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is more than just a buzzword.

It’s a powerful tool that can transform your relationship with your adult children.

Being present and fully engaged in the moment allows you to truly listen and understand your child, rather than thinking about what you’re going to say next or how you’re going to react.

It fosters a deeper connection, built on genuine understanding and empathy.

In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment“, I delve into the practice of mindfulness in detail.

I share practical tips and exercises to help you become more mindful in your everyday life, including your relationships with your adult children.

By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to let go of judgment, be more patient, and respond rather than react.

This can lead to deeper, more meaningful conversations and a stronger bond with your adult children.

5) Learn to apologize

Nobody’s perfect, and that includes parents.

We all make mistakes, say things we don’t mean, or let our emotions get the best of us.

And sometimes, it’s our children who bear the brunt of our missteps.

There was a time when I lost my temper over a minor disagreement.

Harsh words were said, feelings were hurt, and it created a rift between us.

Instead of brushing it under the carpet or justifying my actions, I chose to apologize.

I acknowledged my mistake and asked for forgiveness.

It was a humbling experience, but it was also a turning point in our relationship.

Apologizing when you’re in the wrong shows your adult child that you respect them and their feelings.

It also sets an example for them about taking responsibility for one’s actions.

6) Don’t always try to fix things

As parents, our instinct is often to swoop in and fix things when our children are struggling.

But sometimes, that’s not what they need or want, especially when they’re adults.

Our adult children have their own experiences, skills, and coping mechanisms.

They’re capable of handling their own problems, and sometimes, the best thing we can do is simply to be there for them.

A study found that parental support, characterized by listening and empathizing rather than providing solutions, fosters independence and problem-solving skills in adult children, ultimately enhancing the parent-child relationship.

Instead of jumping in with solutions, it can be more helpful to listen, empathize and offer support.

It shows your adult child that you trust their abilities and respect their autonomy, which can significantly strengthen your relationship.

So next time your adult child comes to you with a problem, resist the urge to fix it.

Instead, be there for them, offer support and let them handle it in their own way.

You might be surprised at how much this can improve your relationship.

7) Celebrate their achievements

Acknowledging and celebrating your adult child’s achievements, big or small, is a simple yet powerful way to show your support and love.

Whether it’s a new job, buying their first home, or even cooking a successful meal, every achievement deserves recognition.

It’s not just about the size of the achievement but showing that you’re proud of them.

Celebrating their achievements shows your adult child that you notice their hard work, appreciate their efforts, and are proud of their accomplishments.

It creates positive reinforcement and encourages them to strive for more.

So, make it a point to recognize and celebrate your adult child’s achievements.

It’ll not only make them feel valued, but it will also strengthen your bond.

8) Maintain a balance

The most important aspect of a great relationship with your adult children is maintaining a balance.

You need to be a parent, a guide, and a friend, all at the same time.

This balance can be tricky to navigate.

A study found that parents who strike a balance between support and independence foster stronger, more positive relationships with their adult children, emphasizing the importance of this nuanced approach.

Offering advice without overstepping boundaries, being there for them without being overbearing, and showing love without smothering them – it’s a delicate dance.

But when you find that sweet spot, the relationship you have with your adult children can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life.

It’s worth every effort, every misstep, and every lesson learned along the way.

It’s about mutual respect and growth

Our relationships with our adult children are complex yet profoundly beautiful.

They’re woven from threads of shared memories, mutual respect, and deep-rooted love.

They evolve with time, reflecting the growth and changes in both parent and child.

Maintaining a great relationship with your adult children isn’t about mastering a formula or following a set of rules.

It’s about understanding, respect, communication, and the willingness to grow together.

For those seeking to delve deeper into the aspects of mindfulness and presence in fostering these relationships, my book “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment” offers insights and practical guidance.

In the end, it’s not just about being a parent to your adult children.

It’s about being their guide, their friend, and their pillar of support, while allowing them the freedom to be their own person.

So take a moment to reflect on your relationship with your adult children. What can you do differently? What can you do better?

The answer might lead to a more fulfilling and enriching relationship than you ever thought possible.