People who grew up with very little guidance and support usually experience these 7 struggles later in life

Avatar by Justin Brown | October 6, 2024, 4:33 pm

When I was younger, I had the privilege of having mentors who guided and supported me. And it’s not lost on me how instrumental they were in shaping who I am today. But what happens to those who didn’t have that same guidance and support growing up?

Turns out, it’s a tough road to tread.

Lack of guidance and support in our formative years can lead to a unique set of struggles later in life. It’s like trying to piece together a puzzle with missing pieces. You’re left trying to fill in the gaps, often with less-than-ideal results.

In this piece, we’re going to explore 7 common struggles experienced by individuals who grew up without much guidance or support.

Because understanding these struggles is the first step towards overcoming them. Let’s dive in.

1) Lack of self-confidence

Growing up without guidance or support can leave a person feeling insecure about their own abilities. They may question their worth and doubt their potential. Why? Because they didn’t have anyone to validate their worth or nurture their potential.

In my experience, self-confidence is not something we are born with, but something that is cultivated over time. It’s like a muscle that needs to be exercised.

And if you didn’t have someone cheering you on from the sidelines, pushing you to try new things, or helping you bounce back from failure, it can be tough to develop that confidence muscle.

The good news is, it’s never too late to start building your self-confidence.

But first, you need to recognize that this lack of self-confidence is not a personal failing, but rather a result of the circumstances in which you were raised. Acknowledge it, confront it, and then you can start taking steps to overcome it.

2) Difficulty forming meaningful relationships

One of the struggles that individuals who grew up without adequate guidance and support often face is the difficulty in forming meaningful relationships. This is something I’ve personally grappled with, and it’s deeply tied to the way I was shaped by my own experiences growing up.

As a child, I had to navigate the world largely on my own. This early independence taught me resilience, but it also made me a bit of a lone wolf. I found it challenging to let others in or to trust them with my vulnerabilities.

Over time, I realized that this self-reliance had turned into isolation. I was missing out on the richness of shared experiences and the joy of mutual support. It took some time, plenty of introspection, and a conscious decision to open myself up to others for me to start forming meaningful relationships.

The journey wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. Today, each relationship in my life is a testament to the fact that we can overcome the struggles handed to us by our pasts. And more importantly, they serve as a reminder that none of us can truly thrive alone.

3) Fear of failure

Often, individuals who lacked guidance and support as children develop a deep-seated fear of failure. When you grow up without a safety net, failure seems like an insurmountable setback rather than a stepping stone towards success.

As a result, fear can become a constant companion, influencing decisions and limiting opportunities. It’s like walking through life with an invisible barrier around you, holding you back from pursuing your dreams or daring to step out of your comfort zone.

Here’s the thing. Failure is not the enemy. In fact, it’s through failures that we learn and grow the most. It’s through our stumbles that we find our footing and discover our path forward.

Recognizing this fear of failure for what it is – a protective mechanism developed in response to past experiences – is the first step towards overcoming it. Only then can we start to see failure for what it truly is: an opportunity for growth and learning.

4) Over-reliance on self-reliance

In the absence of reliable guidance, self-reliance often becomes a survival skill. While this independence can be empowering, it can also make it difficult to ask for help when we need it.

I’ve learned this lesson the hard way, and shared my journey in a video about how having a job can make you feel like you’re a slave to the system.

YouTube video

In this video, I delve into the struggle of how over-reliance on self-reliance can lead to feeling trapped. I share my personal experiences and insights on how over-independence can make us feel like we are trapped by our circumstances, especially when we are stuck in jobs that drain us rather than enrich us.

The key takeaway is that while self-reliance is a valuable skill, it’s equally important to recognize when we need support from others. It’s okay to ask for help. We are not meant to navigate this world alone.

And if you find value in the insights shared in the video and want to dive deeper into my philosophy of living with freedom and purpose, feel free to explore more here.

5) Struggle with self-worth

If we grow up without guidance or support, we might spend a good part of our lives grappling with our self-worth. The lack of validation and affirmation from those who should have been our first cheerleaders can lead us to question our value and self-worth.

This struggle can manifest in different ways. It could be pursuing careers or relationships that don’t serve us, just to seek validation. Or it could be holding back from opportunities, assuming we’re not good enough.

But here’s the thing. Your worth is not defined by external validation or the lack thereof. Your worth is inherent. You are valuable simply because you exist.

Recognizing this truth is a transformative journey in itself, one that requires you to confront your fears, challenge limiting beliefs and cultivate self-compassion. But only when we begin to value ourselves can we truly start living a life that aligns with our deepest values and desires.

6) Trouble setting boundaries

Growing up without guidance can often mean growing up without clear boundaries. This can lead to a struggle with setting and maintaining personal boundaries in adult life.

Boundaries are crucial for our well-being. They serve as guidelines for what is acceptable behavior towards us and what isn’t. However, if you’ve grown up without clear boundaries, you may have difficulty establishing them as an adult.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who can’t set healthy boundaries are more likely to suffer from stress, burnout, and poor relationships.

The good news?

It’s never too late to learn how to set boundaries. It involves understanding your needs, values, and limits, and then communicating them effectively to others. It may not be easy, but it’s a vital skill for maintaining healthy relationships and ensuring your own mental and emotional well-being.

7) Difficulty with decision-making

A lack of guidance and support during childhood can also lead to difficulties in decision-making later in life. Without a strong example of how to weigh options and make informed decisions, individuals may find themselves feeling overwhelmed or paralyzed when faced with choices.

It’s like standing at the crossroads with multiple paths stretching out before you, but no compass to guide you. This can lead to indecision, second-guessing, and even over-reliance on the opinions of others, rather than trusting your own instincts and judgment.

However, it’s important to remember that decision-making is a skill that can be learned and honed over time. It involves recognizing your own needs and desires, gathering information, considering the possible outcomes, and then having the courage to take action.

With practice, making confident decisions can become a natural part of your life.

Embracing your journey

If you identify with these struggles, you’re not alone. Many of us who grew up with little guidance and support face similar challenges. But here’s the thing – these struggles do not define you.

With self-awareness and conscious effort, these difficulties can be transformed into strengths. The key is self-compassion, acceptance, and intentional growth. You may have lacked guidance growing up, but that doesn’t mean you can’t develop it now.

Start by recognizing the struggles you experience. Pay attention when you lack confidence or when decision-making feels overwhelming. Notice when you’re having trouble setting boundaries or when your self-worth feels shaky.

Spotting these patterns is the first step towards overcoming them. From there, it’s about making conscious choices that align with your true values and desires, not the ones imposed on you by your past.

Keep in mind, growth and change don’t happen overnight, but every step you take towards understanding and confronting these struggles makes a difference.

If you need a little help along the way, consider trying out my Wake-Up Call tool. It’s a free resource designed to give you personalized insights based on my library of online courses and videos. All it needs is a question or some details from you about what you’re currently facing in life.

The Wake-Up Call tool will provide you with the most impactful advice tailored to your situation. It’s like having a personal coach guiding you towards living life more consciously, shaking off the autopilot mode and embracing your unique journey.

Every struggle is an opportunity for growth. Today is the perfect day to start embracing yours.