People who grew up with very little encouragement tend to develop these 7 traits later in life (according to psychology)

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | July 4, 2024, 11:41 pm

There’s a profound impact on how we’re raised and who we become as adults.

Growing up with very little encouragement can shape us in ways we might not fully understand. It can subtly influence our behaviors, characteristics, and even the way we see ourselves.

According to psychology, there are 7 distinct traits often found in those who grew up without much encouragement. I know this, because I’ve seen and experienced it firsthand.

In this article, we’re going to delve into these traits, giving you a better understanding of how a lack of early-life encouragement can ripple into adulthood.

So, let’s dive in and explore these eight traits together.

1) Independent to a fault

When you grow up without much encouragement, you learn to fend for yourself early on.

This isn’t always a bad thing. Independence is a valuable trait, and those who lacked encouragement as kids often become self-reliant adults. They’ve learned to trust their own judgment and make decisions independently because they had to.

But like anything, there’s a flip side.

Without the balance of support and guidance, this independence can morph into isolation. People who grew up without encouragement often struggle to ask for help, even when they need it. They might have difficulty opening up to others or building close relationships.

They’re used to going it alone, and that can be a hard habit to break.

According to psychology, this is one of the key traits people develop when they grow up with very little encouragement. They become independent to a fault, navigating life solo even when companionship or assistance would be beneficial.

This trait can be both a strength and a challenge, and understanding it is the first step toward addressing its potential pitfalls.

2) Perfectionism

Another trait that often emerges in those who grew up without much encouragement is perfectionism.

I can speak to this personally. Growing up, I remember always feeling like I had to prove myself. The lack of encouragement meant that any accomplishment felt like it was never quite good enough. So, I developed this incessant need to strive for perfection.

As an adult, this translated into a constant pursuit of flawlessness in every area of life – work, relationships, even hobbies. It was exhausting.

Psychologists suggest that this trait stems from a deep-rooted desire for approval. When you don’t receive much encouragement as a child, you may become fixated on achieving perfection in the hope of finally receiving validation.

However, it’s important to remember that nobody is perfect, and striving for such an unattainable goal can lead to stress and anxiety. Recognizing and managing this trait is crucial for overall wellbeing.

3) Resilience

Interestingly, those who lacked encouragement growing up often develop an impressive degree of resilience.

Confronted with an environment where they had to rely on themselves, these individuals learned how to cope with challenges and bounce back from setbacks. This resilience becomes a core part of their personality, and it can serve them well in their personal and professional lives.

Psychologists have found that the ability to adapt to adversity is a valuable life skill. However, it’s essential for these individuals to remember that it’s okay to show vulnerability and seek support when needed.

While resilience is a strength, no one should feel like they have to face every challenge alone.

4) Over-achiever

Growing up with very little encouragement can spark a relentless drive to achieve. This is often motivated by a desire to gain the approval and recognition that was lacking during childhood.

As a result, these individuals might push themselves harder than most, often becoming over-achievers in their adult lives. They set high standards for themselves and strive to exceed them, putting immense pressure on themselves to succeed.

While this determination can lead to notable accomplishments, it can also result in burnout. Therefore, it’s important for these individuals to balance their drive with self-care and downtime. Remember, your worth is not determined solely by your achievements.

5) Empathy

One of the most beautiful traits that can emerge from a lack of childhood encouragement is a profound sense of empathy.

These individuals understand what it’s like to feel overlooked or undervalued. As a result, they often develop a deep capacity for empathy, understanding, and compassion.

They’re the ones who can sit with you in your darkest moments and offer genuine comfort because they’ve been there. They can truly understand the feelings of others because they’ve experienced similar emotions themselves.

This ability to empathize can make them excellent friends, partners, and leaders. However, it’s also crucial that they remember to extend the same kindness and understanding to themselves.

6) Low self-esteem

Growing up without much support can affect your self-esteem. I remember always questioning my worth, doubting my abilities, and feeling like I wasn’t good enough.

This low self-esteem often stems from not receiving enough validation during formative years. As adults, we might constantly seek approval from others to fill this void, which can lead to a lack of confidence in our own abilities.

However, it’s important to remember that our worth is not determined by external validation. Overcoming this trait involves learning to recognize and value our intrinsic worth.

7) Fear of failure

When you grow up in an unsupportive environment, the fear of failure can become deeply ingrained.

You might be afraid to take risks or step out of your comfort zone, worrying that you’ll fail and confirm your deepest insecurities. This fear can hold you back from pursuing new opportunities and reaching your full potential.

It’s crucial to remember that failure is a part of growth. It’s through mistakes and setbacks that we learn and evolve. The key is to view failure not as a reflection of your worth but as a stepping stone towards success.

Unseen strength

The journey of those experienced an unsupportive upbringing is marked by resilience, determination, and a deep sense of empathy. These traits, born out of necessity, are a testament to the strength of the human spirit.

Their experiences have shaped them, and while the challenges they faced were undeniably tough, they’ve also led to some truly remarkable traits.

Remember that everyone has a different journey in life. Understanding how our past influences our present can help us navigate our future with more insight and compassion.

So let’s take a moment to appreciate these silent warriors amongst us. Their journey might not have been easy, but it’s certainly made them who they are today – resilient, empathetic, and incredibly strong.