Growing up with volatile parents can leave a lasting imprint on a person’s behavior and personality.

With their erratic mood swings and emotional storms, temperamental parents often create a tumultuous home environment, shaping the way their children navigate the world as they grow.

One common repercussion is the development of coping mechanisms that, while adaptive in childhood, may prove less beneficial in adulthood.

These survival strategies can manifest in various ways, from struggles with emotional regulation to challenges in forming and maintaining relationships.

In this piece, we’ll explore eight telltale behaviors commonly seen in individuals raised by temperamental parents.

Understanding these behaviors isn’t just essential for those who experienced such upbringing—it’s crucial for their partners, friends, and colleagues too.

1) Emotional dysregulation

Emotional dysregulation, marked by struggles in managing or controlling emotional responses, is a common outcome of growing up in an environment where emotions run wild and unpredictable.

As adults, they might find themselves overwhelmed by intense emotional reactions and struggle to regain composure after an upset.

Emotional dysregulation can manifest in various ways:

• Difficulty coping with stress and unexpected twists
• Experiencing emotions that seem outsized to the situation
• Struggling to regain emotional equilibrium after a disturbance

Recognizing and confronting this behavior is the crucial first step toward change.

Thankfully, there are several effective strategies for managing emotional dysregulation, including mindfulness techniques, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and dialectical behavior therapy.

2) Difficulty trusting others

Individuals raised by temperamental parents often struggle to trust others due to the inconsistency and unpredictability they experienced growing up.

Children need stability to form secure bonds and trust, but in volatile homes, they couldn’t rely on their parents for emotional support or predict their reactions.

This lack of consistency leads to a deep fear of abandonment or betrayal, making it hard for them to trust others later in life.

As adults, they tend to become overly self-reliant and fear rejection, which causes them to avoid close relationships.

Healing involves recognizing these fears and actively working on building healthier relationships.

Therapies like cognitive-behavioral or attachment-based therapy can be beneficial in addressing these challenges and fostering better relationship dynamics.

3) Perfectionism

Perfectionism is another behavior often seen in individuals raised by temperamental parents.

This trait is usually a result of children feeling the need to meet high standards or expectations to avoid triggering their parents’ volatile emotions.

Perfectionism can manifest in various ways, including a constant striving for excellence, fear of making mistakes, and being excessively critical of oneself.

It can impact various areas of life, such as work, relationships, and personal growth.

While perfectionism can drive one to achieve great things, it can also lead to excessive stress, burnout, and mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. 

Cognitive-behavioral therapy can be beneficial in addressing perfectionism.

This form of therapy helps individuals identify and challenge their perfectionist thoughts and beliefs, promoting healthier thought patterns.

4) Hypersensitivity to criticism

People who grew up with temperamental parents often develop a hypersensitivity to criticism.

This behavior stems from their childhood experiences where they were frequently subjected to harsh, unpredictable reactions from their parents.

These reactions could have been triggered by the slightest mistake or failure, leading the child to associate criticism with intense emotional distress.

As adults, this hypersensitivity to criticism can manifest in various ways.

They might react defensively to feedback, even if it’s constructive and well-intended.

They may also avoid situations where they might be evaluated or criticized, which can limit their opportunities for personal and professional growth.

Understanding this sensitivity is the first step towards overcoming it.

It’s essential to learn that criticism is not a personal attack but a way to learn and grow.

Mindfulness techniques, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and assertiveness training can be beneficial in managing this sensitivity.

5) Difficulty expressing emotions

Growing up with temperamental parents often makes it hard for many individuals to express their emotions.

This difficulty usually stems from a fear of triggering negative reactions from their parents during childhood.

In an environment where showing emotions could lead to unpredictable responses, children often learn to suppress their feelings as a coping mechanism.

This learned behavior can stick with them into adulthood, making it tough to openly express their emotions, even in supportive environments.

This struggle can significantly affect both personal and professional relationships.

It can cause misunderstandings, as others may have difficulty understanding their feelings or needs.

Moreover, it can contribute to feelings of isolation and loneliness, as they may feel misunderstood or unable to connect with others emotionally.

6) Heightened sense of responsibility

Individuals raised by temperamental parents often develop a strong sense of responsibility from a young age.

This arises from feeling the need to take on adult roles to maintain stability in their unpredictable home environment.

In such situations, children often mature quickly, assuming responsibilities beyond their years.

They may feel accountable for their parents’ emotional well-being, striving to maintain peace or uplift a distressed parent.

As adults, they may carry this heightened sense of responsibility, often overextending themselves in their work or relationships.

This can lead to feelings of exhaustion and burnout as they prioritize others’ needs over their own.

To manage this, setting boundaries and prioritizing personal needs are crucial steps.

7) Constant self-doubt

Individuals raised by temperamental parents often grapple with relentless self-doubt—a direct consequence of their parents’ unpredictable moods and reactions.

During childhood, they doubted their capacity to navigate their parents’ emotions, fostering a profound sense of insecurity and self-doubt in their own abilities and judgments.

As adults, this self-doubt infiltrates every aspect of their lives, corroding their careers, relationships, and personal decisions.

They incessantly second-guess themselves, wrestle with decision-making, and harbor feelings of inadequacy.

Confronting this behavior head-on is paramount to overcoming it.

Seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor adept at identifying and addressing these self-doubt patterns can be immensely empowering.

8) Difficulty setting boundaries

Those raised by temperamental parents often find it challenging to establish and uphold boundaries in their adult relationships, a struggle deeply rooted in their childhood experiences of boundary violations.

In their formative years, they likely had to suppress their own needs to cater to their parents’ unpredictable whims.

This pattern often persists into adulthood, where they prioritize others’ needs over their own, to the detriment of their well-being.

This imbalance can lead to relationship turmoil, burnout, and simmering resentment.

To break free from this cycle, individuals must grasp the significance of setting healthy boundaries and assertively expressing their needs and limits.

Seeking guidance through therapy or counseling can be pivotal in equipping individuals with the tools to establish and enforce boundaries in a constructive manner.

Embracing the journey towards healing and growth

Recognizing these behavioral patterns is the crucial first step toward healing and growth.

Understanding their roots in your upbringing with temperamental parents empowers you to tackle them directly. 

Seeking professional help, like therapy or counseling, is vital.

A skilled therapist can guide you through these behaviors, aiding in developing healthier coping mechanisms and relationships.

Prioritizing self-care is essential—nurture your physical and mental well-being, maintain supportive connections, and practice mindfulness.

Change takes time and patience, but each step forward signifies your resilience.

Embrace the journey toward becoming the person you aspire to be.

Stay tuned for more strategies to manage these behaviors and foster self-awareness.

We’re here to support you on your path to growth and self-improvement.