Growing up, my parents were what you might call “overbearing”. They meant well, I’m sure, but their constant oversight had a profound effect on how I behaved and interacted with the world around me.

Now, as an adult, I’ve come to realize that many of my habits and reactions are a direct result of my upbringing. And guess what? I’m not alone in this.

Many people who grew up with overbearing parents often display certain behaviors that can be traced back to their childhood experiences.

These behaviors might seem odd or out of place to others, but for those of us who’ve been there, they’re all too familiar.

In this article, we’re going to delve into 6 common behaviors often exhibited by individuals who grew up with overbearing parents.

1. Resistance to authority

One of the first behaviors you might notice is a strong resistance to authority.

Does this sound familiar? A boss, a professor, or even a traffic cop – anyone in a position of authority can trigger a knee-jerk reaction of defiance.

Why does this happen? Well, if you’ve spent your formative years under constant scrutiny and control, it’s likely that you developed a deep-seated need for autonomy.

This resistance isn’t about being rebellious or difficult. It’s about asserting your independence, something that might have been stifled during your upbringing.

2. Perfectionism

Another behavior I’ve noticed? Perfectionism.

Growing up, I was always expected to get straight A’s. Anything less, and well, let’s just say it was less than ideal.

This constant pressure to be perfect seeped into other areas of my life as well. Now, as an adult, I find myself stressing over the smallest details. From the tidiness of my home to the presentation of a work project, if it’s not perfect, it’s not good enough.

The thing is, this kind of perfectionism isn’t about striving for excellence or being the best you can be. It’s about fear – the fear of disappointing others and not living up to their expectations.

But guess what? It’s okay to make mistakes and fall short sometimes.

So if you’re like me and you struggle with perfectionism, remember – you’re human, not a machine.

3. Difficulty with self-expression

This next behavior is a tough one to admit, but it’s something I’ve struggled with for a long time – difficulty with self-expression.

You see, as a kid, my parents always had the last word. Their opinions and views were the only ones that mattered. There wasn’t really any room for me to express my own thoughts and feelings.

Fast forward to today, I find myself hesitating to speak up, even when I have something important to say. My mind starts racing with thoughts like “What if they don’t agree?” or “What if I sound stupid?”

It’s as if that childhood fear of being dismissed or invalidated has followed me into adulthood.

4. High levels of anxiety

Did you grow up feeling like you were always walking on eggshells? If so, you might relate to this next behavior – high levels of anxiety.

Overbearing parents often instill a sense of constant worry in their children. You might have found yourself fretting about making mistakes, upsetting your parents, or not meeting their high expectations.

As an adult, this anxiety can translate into a general sense of unease, an inability to relax, or even full-blown panic attacks.

But here’s the good news – recognizing that your anxiety might be rooted in your upbringing is the first step toward addressing it. 

5. Overthinking

If you grew up with overbearing parents, there’s a good chance you’re an overthinker.

Research suggests that children who are frequently criticized tend to develop an internalized voice of criticism. This can lead to a habit of overthinking and second-guessing every decision.

For instance, choosing a restaurant, picking an outfit, or even deciding what movie to watch can become a mental marathon. Sounds exhausting, right?

But don’t fret. Overthinking is just a habit, and habits can be broken. 

6. Difficulty trusting others

Now, this is a tough one. If your parents were constantly controlling or suspicious, you may find it challenging to trust others.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve pulled away from potential relationships – friendships, romantic interests, even professional connections – all because I had a hard time trusting their intentions.

It’s like there’s this voice in my head whispering, “What if they let you down, just like your parents did?”

But here’s what I’ve learned. Not everyone is out to disappoint or hurt you. There are genuine, caring people out there who want to connect with you and support you.

It takes courage to trust again, but it’s worth it. Don’t let past experiences rob you of potential future happiness.

The road to understanding

If you’re reading this and finding yourself nodding along, realizing that these behaviors resonate with your own, know that you’re not alone.

This understanding is a crucial first step. It’s like finally having a map for terrain you’ve been navigating blindfolded. It can be empowering, eye-opening, and yes, a little daunting.

But remember this – your past does not define you. Yes, it shapes you, but it doesn’t have to bind you.

You have the power to rewrite your narrative and change these patterns.