People who grew up with negligent parents usually display these 8 traits as adults, according to psychology

If you’ve grown up with negligent parents, you know that the impact doesn’t just disappear when you become an adult. The experience can shape you in profound ways, some of which might surprise you.
Often, individuals who were raised in such environments display certain traits as adults.
These are not personal choices, but rather the result of a complex interplay between environment and psychology.
Understanding these traits can be a challenging journey – but an important one.
Just as with any other psychological condition, increased understanding can lead to better self-awareness and healing.
What follows is a look at 8 such traits commonly seen in adults who grew up with negligent parents, as identified by psychology.
This is by no means an exhaustive or definitive list – everyone’s experiences and responses are unique – but it could be a helpful starting point.
1) Difficulty in forming attachments
Growing up with negligent parents often leaves a mark on an individual’s ability to form secure attachments. This isn’t a personal failing, but a result of not having their emotional needs met during crucial developmental stages.
For instance, as an adult, you may find yourself struggling to build deep, lasting relationships. You might feel an underlying fear of abandonment or rejection, stemming from the neglect you experienced in childhood.
This could manifest in a range of behaviors – from being overly clingy and needy to pushing people away before they get too close.
This isn’t about blame. It’s about understanding the root cause of your patterns and behaviors. Recognizing this trait isn’t an indictment of your character, but rather an opportunity for growth and healing.
By understanding your past, you can shape a healthier future – one where you’re able to form secure, fulfilling relationships.
2) Over-independence
While it might seem surprising, a high level of independence is often a trait seen in adults who grew up with negligent parents. But this isn’t the healthy, self-reliant independence that’s commonly praised.
From a young age, these individuals learned to rely on themselves for their needs – physical and emotional. They couldn’t count on their parents for support or care, so they had to become their own caregivers.
As adults, this over-independence can cause them to keep others at arm’s length, always insisting on doing things themselves. It’s not that they don’t want help or connection; it’s that they’re not used to it.
They’ve learned that depending on others can lead to disappointment, so they’d rather rely solely on themselves.
While this trait can make them resourceful and resilient, it can also lead to isolation and burnout. It’s okay to need others – in fact, it’s a fundamental part of being human.
Recognizing this can be a big step towards building healthier relationships and leading a more balanced life.
3) Hypervigilance
When children grow up in an environment where their needs are consistently ignored or dismissed, they often develop an acute awareness of their surroundings.
This is known as hypervigilance, a state of increased alertness. If you’re hypervigilant, you’re constantly on the lookout for potential threats or dangers.
This is because, in the past, your environment was unpredictable and unsafe. Your brain adapts to keep you safe by becoming hyper-aware of everything around you.
This adaptation was necessary for survival as a child, but as an adult, it can leave you feeling perpetually on edge and unable to relax.
This heightened state of awareness can result in chronic anxiety and stress. It’s like your brain is stuck in a constant “fight or flight” mode.
However, understanding this trait can help you address it more effectively and seek help when needed.
4) Hard time with self-care
If self-care feels like a struggle, you’re not alone.
Many adults who grew up with negligent parents find it hard to care for themselves in a nurturing way.
It’s not because you’re lazy or don’t value yourself, but because self-care was never modeled or encouraged in your early environment.
As children, we learn how to take care of ourselves by observing our parents. If your parents were negligent, they might not have shown you how to eat well, rest enough, or attend to your own emotional needs.
You might have become so focused on surviving that you never learned how to thrive.
It’s never too late to start practicing self-care. Little by little, step by step, you can learn to nurture yourself the way you deserve. You’re worth taking care of – and no one is better equipped to do that than you.
5) Perfectionism
This might sound familiar: You set high standards for yourself and strive to meet them at any cost.
Perfectionism is often a trait seen in adults who grew up with negligent parents. It can feel like a constant chase for approval, love, or validation that was lacking during childhood.
But here’s the thing about perfectionism – it can be both a blessing and a curse.
On one hand, it can drive you to achieve great things. On the other, it can leave you feeling perpetually unsatisfied, always striving for an ideal that’s just out of reach.
Making mistakes is part of being human. Your worth isn’t defined by how flawless your performance is, but by who you are as a person.
It’s okay to ease up on yourself and celebrate your efforts, not just your achievements.
6) Difficulty expressing emotions
Imagine this: You’re at a party and everyone around you is laughing and having a good time.
But when you try to join in, you feel like you’re just going through the motions. You’re not sure what’s wrong, but you just can’t seem to connect with your emotions the way others do.
This could be a result of growing up with negligent parents. If your emotions were ignored or dismissed during your childhood, you might have learned to suppress them as a way of protecting yourself.
This can make it hard for you to understand and express your feelings as an adult.
The good news is that it’s never too late to learn how to connect with your emotions.
With patience and practice, you can become more in tune with your feelings and learn how to express them in a healthy way.
7) Struggle with boundaries
If you find yourself constantly saying ‘yes’ when you really want to say ‘no’, you’re not doing anyone any favors – least of all yourself. This struggle with setting boundaries is a common trait in adults who grew up with negligent parents.
You might feel guilty or worried about disappointing others. Maybe you think that if you put your foot down, people will leave or stop caring for you.
But here’s the hard truth: People who truly care about you will respect your boundaries.
Establishing boundaries doesn’t make you selfish or unkind. It’s a form of self-respect and a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship.
So, give yourself permission to set limits. You have the right to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being.
8) Resilience and strength
Despite all the challenges you’ve faced, you’re still standing. That’s no small feat. This resilience and strength are often overlooked traits in adults who grew up with negligent parents.
You may have weathered storms that others can’t even imagine, and that’s shaped you into the person you are today.
You’re stronger than you think, and that strength can help you overcome any obstacles that come your way.
Just remember, though, it’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to face everything on your own.
You’ve been strong for so long, and now it’s time to let others be strong for you too. Your past may have shaped you, but it doesn’t define you.
You have the power to write your own future.
Final thoughts
Understanding the impacts of your past is not an exercise in self-pity, but a journey towards self-awareness and healing.
This article serves as a guide to help you recognize patterns that might have resulted from growing up with negligent parents.
These traits do not define you. They’re simply pieces of a larger puzzle – your life. And the beautiful thing about puzzles is that they can be rearranged, pieces can be replaced, and the picture can change.
You have the power to shape your future, regardless of your past. And knowing these 8 traits is a step towards reclaiming that power.