Growing up with divorced parents shapes you in ways you may not even realize. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just different.

The experiences you go through, the struggles you witness, they all leave a mark on your personality, your beliefs, and your approach to relationships.

Often, these experiences can lead to the development of certain traits. It’s not universal, but it happens often enough that we can identify some common patterns.

In this article, I’ll talk about 7 traits that people who grew up with divorced parents tend to develop later in life. It’s not a list of negatives or positives. It’s simply a reflection of how our upbringings can shape us.

1) Independence

Growing up with divorced parents often means having to adapt to different households, rules, and expectations.

It can be confusing and challenging, but it also often results in kids becoming more adaptable and independent at a young age.

They learn early on how to navigate change and difficult situations. It’s not always an easy road, but it can lead to a level of resilience and self-reliance that stays with them into adulthood.

This independence can be a great strength, allowing these individuals to face life’s challenges head-on. But it can also present its own set of challenges, particularly when it comes to building relationships and relying on others.

Like any trait, it’s not inherently ‘good’ or ‘bad’. It’s just a part of who they are, born from the experiences they’ve been through.

2) Empathy

I’ve noticed in my own life how growing up with divorced parents has given me a heightened sense of empathy.

I was often the mediator, the one who tried to keep the peace and understand both sides. I found myself trying to understand the emotions and perspectives of both my parents, often feeling like I was walking a tightrope between them.

This role instilled in me a deep sense of empathy. I found that I could understand and relate to others’ emotional experiences more deeply. It was as if I had developed a sixth sense for detecting and understanding other people’s feelings.

This trait has been both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it has allowed me to form deep and meaningful connections with others. On the other hand, it can sometimes be overwhelming to feel so deeply attuned to others’ emotions.

But all in all, I believe this empathy has enriched my life in many ways, allowing me to connect with others on a deeper level.

3) Adaptability

Children of divorced parents often learn to juggle different environments, routines, and sets of rules. This constant shifting can lead to a high degree of adaptability later in life.

This ability to adapt isn’t limited to their personal lives; it can also extend into their professional lives, making them valuable assets in workplaces that value flexibility and the ability to handle change.

This adaptability is a testament to their resilience and ability to navigate life’s curveballs, which can serve them well in many aspects of life.

4) Value for communication

Seeing your parents go through a divorce can underscore the importance of clear and open communication. It can become clear very quickly how misunderstandings, assumptions, and a lack of communication can contribute to relationship breakdowns.

As a result, many people who grew up with divorced parents often place a high value on communication in their own relationships. They strive to be clear, open, and honest in their interactions to avoid the pitfalls they’ve seen firsthand.

This doesn’t mean they’re always perfect communicators, but it’s often a skill they’re aware of and actively working on. This focus on communication can help foster healthier, more transparent relationships in their lives.

5) Fear of commitment

I’ll admit, for a long time, the idea of commitment was something that filled me with dread. I’d watched my parents’ marriage fall apart, and it left me wondering if any relationship could truly last.

It wasn’t a conscious fear, but it was there, lurking in the back of my mind, influencing my decisions and my relationships. I found myself avoiding long-term commitments, always keeping one foot out the door in case things went south.

Over time, I’ve had to work hard to overcome that fear and trust in the possibility of long-lasting love. It’s been a journey, one that’s still ongoing, but I’ve come to understand that my parents’ experience doesn’t have to be my own.

This fear of commitment is something that many children of divorce tend to grapple with.

6) Understanding of impermanence

Divorce is a powerful demonstration of how things can change, even when they seem solid and unshakeable. This lesson can instill in children of divorce a deep understanding of the impermanence of life.

They tend to be more aware that circumstances can change, people can change, and relationships can change. And while this might sound negative, it’s not necessarily so. It can lead to a greater appreciation for the present moment and the people in their lives.

This understanding of impermanence can also foster a sense of resilience. Because they’ve seen firsthand that change is a part of life, they’re often better equipped to handle life’s ups and downs.

7) Strength

The most crucial trait to understand is that individuals who grew up with divorced parents often develop an incredible amount of strength.

They’ve been through the wringer, they’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly, and they’ve come out the other side. This journey can instill in them a certain resilience and toughness that can’t be underestimated.

This strength is their superpower. It’s what helps them navigate life’s challenges, it’s what fuels their determination, and it’s what allows them to keep pushing forward, no matter what life throws at them.

Final thoughts

The journey of growing up with divorced parents is unique and leaves a lasting impact on an individual’s life.

The traits developed, from independence to empathy, adaptability to a fear of commitment, ultimately stem from a complex interplay of personal experiences, emotional responses, and learned behaviors.

But the biggesr takeaway is the resilience that children of divorce often display. Despite the upheavals and changes they’ve navigated, they emerge as strong individuals capable of handling life’s ups and downs.