People who grew up with controlling and overly strict parents usually develop these 8 traits later in life

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | September 30, 2024, 12:48 pm

Coming of age under the sway of excessively strict and controlling parents can imprint enduring imprints on one’s character.

Such encounters deeply mold our conduct, deeds, and cognitive approach, persisting well into adulthood.

This reality resonates with many, manifesting its influence across diverse facets of our grown-up existence.

Here, we’ll explore eight prevalent characteristics typically cultivated by those reared under the grip of controlling and overly strict parenting.

1) Difficulty in expressing emotions

Growing up under controlling, overly strict parents often means burying emotions. Raised to believe that expressing feelings equals weakness or defiance, these individuals struggle to let emotions surface.

In such homes, emotions get smothered, fostering a habit of bottling up feelings. This trait lingers into adulthood, hindering the ability to understand, communicate, or respond to emotions in oneself and others.

Now, breaking this cycle starts with acknowledgment. Emotions aren’t shameful; they’re a vital aspect of being human.

2) Low self-esteem and self-worth

Experiencing a childhood with controlling and overly strict parents can significantly impact an individual’s self-perception as an adult. 

In a controlling environment, children are not given the freedom to explore their own capabilities and make mistakes. This lack of autonomy and constant supervision can lead to feelings of incompetence or worthlessness.

The child often grows up believing that they are not good enough, which carries into adulthood.

This can manifest in various ways, such as difficulty accepting compliments, a constant need for validation, or an overwhelming fear of failure.  

3) Challenges in forming healthy relationships

Adults raised by controlling, overly strict parents often struggle to foster healthy relationships. Their childhood dynamics mold expectations, fostering tendencies towards control, submission, or avoidance.

Some may gravitate towards partners mirroring parental behavior, finding comfort in familiarity. Others swing to extremes, becoming overly submissive or avoiding conflict altogether.

Breaking these patterns demands effort and awareness. Establishing boundaries, effective communication, and seeking partners who respect individual worth are crucial steps towards cultivating healthier relationship dynamics.

4) Tendency towards perfectionism

A common trait among those raised by overly strict, controlling parents is perfectionism. Stemming from parental demands for flawless performance and zero tolerance for errors, it becomes deeply ingrained.

Perfectionism fuels achievements but also ignites stress and burnout. The relentless pursuit of flawlessness manifests in an aversion to delegation, hypersensitivity to critique, and an insatiable urge to excel.

While striving for excellence is laudable, extreme perfectionism stifles growth and fuels needless stress.

5) Over-responsibility and people-pleasing behaviors

Another typical trait among those raised by overly strict, controlling parents is an inclination towards shouldering excessive responsibility. 

These folks can morph into people pleasers, constantly bending over backward to meet others’ expectations, even at the cost of their own needs and wants. Feeling overly responsible for others’ feelings and outcomes, they end up drained emotionally.

It’s crucial for them to grasp that managing others’ emotions or fulfilling unreasonable demands isn’t their duty. Setting healthy boundaries stands as a crucial stride in overcoming over-responsibility.

6) Difficulty in trusting others

Trust forms the backbone of healthy relationships, but for folks raised by overly strict, controlling parents, it’s often a shaky ground.  

This skepticism roots in the rollercoaster of their childhood environment. Constantly on edge for mood swings or sudden shifts in behavior from their parents, they struggle to believe in consistency, reliability, or support from others.

Nurturing trust is no walk in the park for these individuals, but it’s doable. It means wrestling with past scars, recognizing not everyone mirrors their parents, and forging bonds with genuinely trustworthy souls.

7) Struggle with decision-making

Growing up with controlling, overly strict parents can turn decision-making into a real challenge as adults. When every move is dictated by parents, there’s little chance for kids to hone their own judgment skills.

These folks might’ve been steered away from making choices or faced consequences for ‘wrong’ decisions in childhood. It’s no wonder they end up fearing decisions, leaning on others or battling constant self-doubt.

This struggle spills into all areas of life, from personal bonds to career paths. Spotting this hurdle is the first step to shaking it off. It’s about building self-assurance, embracing mistakes as part of the journey, and gradually owning decisions like a boss.

8) Tendency towards self-neglect

Another trait commonly seen in those raised by controlling, overly strict parents is self-neglect. It comes in many flavors, from ignoring physical health to brushing aside emotional needs and passions.

In these homes, kids are taught to put parents first, often at their own expense.

The result? A lifelong habit of self-neglect, where they keep others’ needs front and center, even as adults.

This neglect messes with their self-care, relationships, and dreams. Breaking free means putting themselves first for once, embracing self-care, and acknowledging their own needs as valid.

Moving forward towards healing and growth

Recognizing these telltale traits from a strict upbringing is your first ticket to healing and growth. These traits don’t define you—they’re just echoes of your past.

Tackling them head-on might feel like a climb, but change is on the horizon. Armed with understanding and self-kindness, you can wrangle these traits, find healthier coping methods, and break free from your upbringing’s grip.

Specifically, therapy or counselling can be immensely helpful in this journey. Mental health professionals can provide tools and techniques to help manage these traits and address any underlying emotional wounds.

Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga can also help in managing stress and promoting overall well-being.

Remember, it’s never too late to seek help and take steps towards personal growth. Despite the challenges faced in the past, you have the strength to overcome them and create a fulfilling future for yourself.