People who find it harder to make friends as they get older usually display these 8 behaviors (without realizing it)

Ava Sinclair by Ava Sinclair | January 16, 2025, 2:46 am

Making friends as we age can be tough. I’ve noticed that those who struggle with this often unknowingly exhibit certain behaviors.

The key to understanding this lies in self-awareness. Often, we’re oblivious to the things we do that might put others off.

These behaviors aren’t deliberate acts to push people away. No, they’re subtle, unconscious actions that can make socializing a challenge.

In the following article, I’ll be highlighting 8 such behaviors that people who find it difficult to make friends as they age typically display, without even realizing it. By recognizing these, one can work on making positive changes towards better social interactions.

1) Being stuck in their ways

As we age, it’s easy to fall into a comfort zone. We know what we like, what we don’t, and we stick to it. It makes life simple, right?

However, this rigidity can be a barrier when making new friends. It can come off as being unwilling to adapt or compromise.

I’ve noticed that people who find it difficult to make friends as they get older often display this behavior. They stick to their habits, routines, and preferences, often at the expense of new experiences and people.

This isn’t to say that you should completely change who you are or what you like just to make friends. Rather, being open-minded and adaptable can go a long way in forging new relationships.

Sometimes, the key is to step out of your comfort zone and be open to new experiences. After all, isn’t that what friendship is all about?

2) Overthinking interactions

Guilty as charged! I’ve caught myself overthinking social interactions way too many times.

It usually starts with a harmless analysis of a conversation I had, or an event I attended. But before I know it, I’m spiraling into a cycle of ‘what ifs’ and ‘should haves’.

I’ve come to realize that this overthinking, this constant dissection of every word and action, can be a major roadblock in forming new friendships. It creates unnecessary anxiety and self-doubt which can prevent me from reaching out to people or accepting invitations.

Over time, I’ve learned that it’s okay not to have perfect interactions all the time. Real friendships are built on authenticity, not perfection. Recognizing this has helped me ease my anxieties and be more open to forming new connections.

If you find yourself overthinking interactions as well, know that you’re not alone. It’s a common behavior among those who find it harder to make friends as they age. But remember – it’s okay to let go of perfection and just be yourself.

3) Neglecting body language

Did you know that non-verbal communication like body language can account for up to 55% of how we convey our feelings and attitudes?

It’s a crucial aspect of interpersonal communication, but one that people often overlook. Those who find it hard to make friends as they age might not realize the impact their body language can have.

Crossed arms, lack of eye contact, or a constant serious expression can signal disinterest, even when that’s not the intention at all. This might deter potential friends, who could perceive these signals as a lack of openness or warmth.

Paying attention to our body language and practicing positive non-verbal cues such as maintaining eye contact, nodding to show understanding, and displaying open postures can significantly improve the quality of our interactions and increase our chances of making new friends.

4) Avoiding vulnerability

Opening up to someone new can feel risky. It’s like handing them a piece of our heart and hoping they won’t break it. This fear of vulnerability often becomes more pronounced as we get older.

I’ve observed that those who struggle with making friends frequently avoid revealing their authentic selves. They might fear judgment or rejection, and as a result, they keep their walls up.

However, vulnerability is at the heart of all deep and meaningful connections. It’s through sharing our experiences, feelings, and thoughts – both good and bad – that we form bonds with others.

If you find yourself avoiding vulnerability, remember that it’s okay to open up. Everyone has their own stories, struggles, and victories to share. Embrace vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness – it can lead to some truly amazing friendships.

5) Not taking the initiative

Friendship is a two-way street. It requires effort and involvement from both parties. But sometimes, as we get older, we may find ourselves waiting for others to reach out first.

This passive approach can hinder the process of making new friends. It’s not due to a lack of interest or goodwill, but perhaps from a fear of rejection or overstepping boundaries.

However, showing someone that you’re genuinely interested in them can make a world of difference. It could be as simple as a warm hello, an invitation for a coffee chat, or just checking in to see how they’re doing.

Taking the initiative can be scary, I know. But it’s also a clear signal that you’re open to new friendships. And who knows? That one small step could lead to a wonderful connection that lasts a lifetime.

6) Holding onto past friendships

There’s a certain comfort in the familiar. For me, it was my college friends. We’d been through thick and thin together. But as time passed, we found ourselves on different paths. I clung onto these friendships, unwilling to let go, even though they were changing.

This unwillingness to accept change can make it difficult to form new friendships. We might compare every potential friend to those from our past, setting unrealistic expectations.

It’s important to cherish old friendships but holding onto them shouldn’t prevent us from making new connections. Every person we meet has the potential to enrich our lives in their unique way. Embracing this could open doors to new and fulfilling friendships.

7) Ignoring shared interests

Common interests form a solid foundation for any friendship. They give us something to bond over, to talk about, and to experience together.

However, those who find it harder to make friends as they age often overlook this factor. They might not actively seek out individuals or groups who share their hobbies, passions or interests.

Joining clubs, attending events or participating in community activities centered around these shared interests can significantly increase the chances of making new friends. It provides an opportunity to meet like-minded individuals and form connections that go beyond surface level.

So if you’re a book lover, join a book club. If you’re into hiking, join a local hiking group. Embrace your interests and use them as a springboard to create meaningful friendships.

8) Not believing in themselves

Self-belief is the cornerstone of any relationship, including friendships. Those who struggle to make friends often unconsciously undermine themselves, thinking they’re not interesting, fun, or worthy enough.

But here’s the truth: You are enough, just as you are. You have unique experiences, perspectives, and qualities that can enrich others’ lives.

So believe in your worth. Believe in your ability to form and maintain meaningful friendships. This self-confidence can be the magnet that attracts others towards you.