For those who felt constantly let down by their parents growing up, specific behavioral patterns often emerge later in life.

These patterns can be a reflection of the emotional wounds inflicted during formative years, manifesting themselves in various aspects of our adult lives.

In this article, we’re going to delve into the seven common behaviors typically developed by individuals who experienced constant disappointment from their parents during their childhood.

This understanding can help you embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth, enabling you to break free from the past and build healthier relationships moving forward.

1) Difficulty trusting others

A common behavior developed by those who felt let down by their parents during their upbringing is a difficulty in trusting others.

This stems from the broken trust that was experienced in the parent-child relationship.

If our primary caregivers, who are supposed to be our most trusted figures, disappoint us repeatedly, it can significantly impact our ability to trust others in adulthood.

This difficulty in trusting can manifest in various ways, such as:

• Skepticism towards others’ intentions
• Reluctance to open up emotionally
• Constantly expecting disappointment in relationships

Futhermore, since an innate fear of being let down is present, their self-sabotaging behaviors may occur in their relationships.

Recognizing this pattern is the first step towards healing. Once you are aware of this behavior, you can start working on rebuilding your trust in people. 

2) Tendency to internalize blame

The propensity to internalize blame stems from a childhood filled with instances where parental disappointment was expressed as the child’s fault, which causes a deeply ingrained belief that they are always at fault.

Self-blame can be evident even in situations where it is not warranted. It can foster a negative self-image and lead to feelings of guilt and shame.

This behavior can also affect interpersonal relationships as it may lead to accepting undue blame or responsibility in conflicts.

You have to understand that you are not responsible for others’ actions or disappointments, especially those of your parents during your childhood.

3) Inclination towards perfectionism

Another behavior often displayed by individuals who felt constantly let down by their parents is a lean towards perfectionism.

This springs from the desire to avoid disappointment and gain parental approval, which can extend into adulthood as a constant striving for perfection in all areas of life.

As this person is always chasing an unattainable ideal, they are prone to high levels of stress, burnout, and even procrastination or avoidance of tasks due to a fear of not being able to perform perfectly.

Your tendency towards perfectionism can be a powerful step in breaking free from this behavior. You can start by acknowledging that perfection is an impossible goal and embracing the concept of ‘good enough’.

4) Difficulty expressing emotions

Difficulty expressing emotions can be a result of growing up in an environment where emotional expression was not encouraged or was met with dismissiveness or disapproval.

An adult life where emotions are suppressed or not communicated effectively creates misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships.

It can also result in internalization of emotions – a sure way to stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues.

Learning to acknowledge and express your feelings in a healthy manner is crucial for emotional well-being and fostering meaningful relationships.

5) Tendency to suppress needs and desires

When your needs were brushed aside or met with indifference as a child, you likely learned a tough lesson: expressing them wasn’t worth the trouble.

Maybe you were told you were “too much” or “too needy,” or perhaps you were ignored altogether.

Over time, this can train you to bury your needs deep inside, convincing yourself that you’re better off handling everything alone.

But here’s the catch—this habit doesn’t just disappear as you grow older; it follows you into adulthood.

Now, you might find yourself saying “I’m fine” when you’re not or prioritizing everyone else’s happiness over your own.

Suppressing your needs becomes second nature because you’ve spent years believing they’re unimportant or a burden to others.

The result? You might feel unfulfilled or even resentful without fully understanding why.

Breaking this cycle starts with recognizing that your needs are valid—always were, always will be.

It’s about unlearning the idea that putting yourself first is selfish and realizing that self-care isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a necessity.

6) Struggle with self-worth

For individuals who felt consistently let down by their parents growing up, struggling with self-worth often becomes an ingrained pattern.

When a child’s emotional needs aren’t met, or they feel overlooked or dismissed, they may internalize the belief that they weren’t “good enough” to deserve love, attention, or care.

This perception can take root early on and follow them into adulthood, shaping how they view themselves and their place in the world.

As adults, this struggle can show up in various ways—like constantly seeking external validation or minimizing their own accomplishments.

Compliments might feel undeserved, and achievements may be downplayed as though they’re never quite enough.

For many, there’s a relentless inner critic that feeds the idea they have to keep proving their worth, even though no amount of external praise or success seems to fill the void.

The path to overcoming this struggle lies in shifting the narrative.

Self-worth isn’t something to be earned or measured by external factors; it’s a matter of accepting one’s inherent value.

Learning to recognize and challenge these deeply rooted beliefs can help individuals move toward a healthier, more compassionate relationship with themselves, breaking free from the limitations of their past.

7) Fear of abandonment

When someone grows up in an environment where they couldn’t rely on their parents, the fear of abandonment often takes root early.

As children, they might have learned to expect inconsistency—promises were broken, emotional support was conditional, or perhaps a parent physically or emotionally left altogether.

These experiences send a powerful message: People leave, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

This fear often manifests in adulthood in subtle but impactful ways. Some may find themselves hyper-vigilant in relationships, constantly worried about being replaced or left behind.

Others might avoid forming close connections altogether, keeping people at arm’s length as a way to protect themselves.

At its core, this fear isn’t about the other person—it’s about the lingering wounds from their upbringing, a subconscious belief that they’re not “enough” to make people stay.

Healing from this fear is a gradual process. It requires unlearning the belief that love and connection are inherently unstable.

Building trust—in oneself and others—is key, as is recognizing that the actions of the past don’t dictate the present.

With time, it becomes possible to embrace relationships with more security and less fear of what might go wrong.

Understanding and healing

Having identified these behaviors, it’s important to remember that they are not your fault.

They are the result of your experiences growing up, and recognizing them is a significant step towards healing and moving forward.

While it can be painful to confront these behaviors, doing so allows you to understand their root causes and work towards breaking these patterns. Therapy or counseling can be highly beneficial in this regard, providing a safe space to explore your feelings and experiences.

Moreover, self-care should be a priority. It’s crucial to take care of your physical, emotional, and mental health.

Engaging in activities that you enjoy, practicing mindfulness, and maintaining healthy relationships can significantly contribute to your well-being.

Lastly, fostering a growth mindset can help in overcoming these behaviors. This involves viewing challenges as opportunities for learning rather than setbacks.

By embracing this mindset, you can use your experiences as stepping stones towards personal growth and self-improvement.