Do you ever find yourself constantly seeking approval, craving validation from everyone around you? You’re not alone.

Many people struggle with the need to be liked by everyone, a desire that can be rooted in deep-seated insecurities.

According to psychologists, this behavior is often driven by seven core insecurities that shape our interactions and self-perception. These tendencies can impact personal relationships and emotional well-being.

In this article, we’ll explore the seven insecurities most commonly linked to the need for universal acceptance and how they shape our behavior.

1) Fear of rejection

People who constantly seek approval often harbor a deep-seated fear of rejection. This isn’t a casual or occasional worry.

It’s an intense, pervasive dread that can dictate their thoughts, emotions, and actions.

For example, they may go out of their way to please others, often at the expense of their own needs and desires.

They may be overly accommodating, even when it causes them discomfort or inconvenience. Why? Because they fear that if they don’t, they’ll face rejection.

They believe that their worth is dependent on being liked by everyone around them.

This fear of rejection can lead to feelings of anxiety and low self-esteem. They may constantly second-guess themselves or obsess over how others perceive them.

This insecurity can be emotionally draining, making it difficult for them to form genuine relationships.

2) Fear of being alone

Those who seek constant approval also tend to have an exaggerated fear of being alone.

It’s not merely about not having company, but rather the dread of being left alone with their own thoughts and feelings.

In a crowd, it’s easier for them to distract themselves from their insecurities. They can focus on pleasing others, seeking validation, and maintaining their likable persona.

But when they’re alone, these insecurities rise to the surface.

This fear is so intense that they may stay in unhealthy relationships or tolerate toxic behavior just to avoid being alone.

They may also constantly seek out social events or gatherings to fill their time and avoid solitude.

According to psychology, humans are inherently social creatures, and loneliness can trigger feelings of depression and anxiety.

But for those who strive to be liked by everyone, this fear is magnified, leading them to extreme lengths to avoid being alone.

3) Low self-esteem

At the core of it all, these individuals often struggle with low self-esteem. They may not see their own worth unless it’s reflected back at them through the approval of others.

They might not believe in their abilities or doubt their accomplishments, thinking they’re never good enough.

It’s not easy feeling this way. It’s a continuous battle with oneself that can be incredibly draining. When they don’t receive the desired approval or validation, it can hit them hard, further lowering their self-esteem.

It’s important to understand that they’re not seeking approval because they love the attention, but rather because they’re trying to fill a void within themselves. They’re trying to convince themselves of their worth by seeking validation from others.

Helping them build their self-esteem and realize their worth beyond others’ opinions can be a significant step toward helping them manage this insecurity.

4) Perfectionism

Perfectionism is another common trait found in those who yearn for universal approval.

They feel the need to be perfect in every way – looks, behavior, work, relationships – believing that this is their ticket to being liked by everyone.

We’ve all experienced this to some extent, haven’t we? That nagging voice in our head telling us that our work isn’t good enough, or that we could’ve done something better.

It’s normal to strive for improvement and growth. However, for these individuals, this drive for perfection can become an obsession.

They set impossibly high standards for themselves and are harshly critical when they can’t meet them. Every mistake or failure is seen as catastrophic, further feeding their fear of rejection.

While it’s great to aim high, nobody is perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, our successes and failures. 

5) People-pleasing behavior

People-pleasing is a common behavior among those who crave universal approval.

They go out of their way to accommodate others, often neglecting their own needs and wants in the process.

They agree to things they’re not comfortable with, just to avoid conflict or displeasure.

For instance, consider a friend of mine who constantly overextends herself at work.

She takes on extra tasks, works late hours, and rarely says no – all to keep her colleagues and superiors happy. She fears that saying no or setting boundaries might make her less likable.

Unfortunately, this people-pleasing behavior often leads to burnout. It’s not sustainable or healthy in the long run.  

6) Lack of personal boundaries

Those who strive to be liked by everyone often have a hard time setting personal boundaries. They let others overstep, afraid that enforcing boundaries might make them less likable.

This absence of boundaries can lead to emotional drain, stress, and even exploitation.

Let’s be clear here: setting boundaries is not only healthy but also necessary. It’s about self-respect.

It’s about understanding and communicating what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not. It doesn’t make you selfish or unlikable.

You see, people who genuinely care about you will respect your boundaries. Those who don’t, well, do you really need their approval? 

7) Dependence on external validation

Perhaps the most significant insecurity in those who feel the need to be liked by everyone is a heavy dependence on external validation.

They base their self-worth on how much they are liked, approved, or appreciated by others.

You see, you don’t need to fit into someone else’s mold or meet someone else’s standards to be likable or important.

It’s great to be considerate and respectful of others, but not at your own expense. It’s okay to prioritize your needs, assert your boundaries, and accept that you cannot please everyone all the time.

Final thoughts