There’s a considerable difference between commanding respect and feeling overlooked.

The difference often lies in behavior. People who feel like they’re never taken seriously usually exhibit certain behaviors, often without realizing it.

These behaviors can send unintended signals, suggesting to others that their ideas or feelings might not be worth considering.

It’s not about blaming the victim, but rather understanding, we might unknowingly be our own worst enemy.

In this article, we’ll explore the 10 common behaviors that could be holding you back from being taken seriously.

1) Over-apologizing

We’ve all been there: navigating a crowded room, accidentally bumping into someone, and immediately apologizing.

But what about when you catch yourself saying “sorry” during a conversation, simply for sharing your opinion or being present?

This habit of over-apologizing is common among those who feel their voices aren’t heard. While it might seem polite, it can actually undercut your credibility and authority.

Certainly, apologizing when warranted is important. But if you find yourself constantly saying “sorry” for no reason, it’s worth reflecting on why and how it might be shaping others’ perceptions of you.

2) Speaking too quickly

I vividly recall a team meeting where I was brimming with an idea I believed could solve a persistent problem. Eager to share, I launched into my explanation at breakneck speed, my words almost tripping over each other.

When I finished, I was met with a room of bewildered stares. It wasn’t that my idea was flawed; rather, I had delivered it so rapidly that my colleagues struggled to keep up.

Speaking too quickly is a common behavior among those who feel overlooked. While it may seem to convey enthusiasm or intelligence, it can actually come across as anxious or insecure.

Moreover, it makes it difficult for others to follow your thoughts, leading them to dismiss your ideas.

Learning to slow down and articulate thoughts clearly can significantly alter how others perceive and respond to you. Trust me, I’ve experienced it firsthand!

3) Avoiding eye contact

Eye contact is a potent tool in communication, signaling confidence and forging a connection with your listener. When we shy away from maintaining eye contact, it can hint at insecurity or disinterest.

Research indicates that individuals who avoid eye contact are often seen as less trustworthy or dependable. This tendency can erode your credibility and lead others to perceive you less seriously.

However, finding the right balance with eye contact can be nuanced. Too much can feel overwhelming, while too little may come off as dismissive.

Mastering this balance is crucial for projecting confidence and facilitating meaningful communication.

4) Neglecting body language

What you say is important, but how you say it can be just as crucial. Body language plays a significant role in how others perceive us and whether they take us seriously.

Crossed arms, slumping posture, or a lack of expressive gestures can all give off signals of defensiveness, insecurity, or disinterest. These non-verbal cues can undermine your words and make it harder for others to engage with your ideas.

On the other hand, standing tall, making open gestures, and facing the person you’re talking to can communicate confidence and command respect.

Being aware of your body language and consciously adjusting it to project confidence can go a long way in changing how others perceive you.

5) Self-deprecating humor

A sprinkle of self-deprecating humor can be charming and relatable. But if it becomes your go-to in every conversation, it might start affecting how seriously others take you.

Constantly poking fun at yourself or downplaying your skills can send the message that you don’t value yourself highly.

Over time, this could shape how others perceive you, causing them to undervalue your contributions or underestimate your abilities.

While humor is fantastic for building connections and lightening the mood, it’s essential to use it in a way that doesn’t undermine your self-esteem or credibility.

6) Not setting boundaries

We live in a world where saying “yes” is often praised. We’re encouraged to seize every opportunity, to be agreeable, and to go the extra mile.

But there’s a crucial difference between being helpful and overextending yourself.

Saying “yes” to everything and not setting clear boundaries can lead to burnout. More importantly, it can cause others to take advantage of your generosity and not value your time or efforts.

It’s okay to say “no”. It’s okay to prioritize your well-being. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re being difficult or selfish; it means you respect yourself and your own needs.

When you respect yourself, it becomes easier for others to do the same. And when they respect you, they’re more likely to take you seriously.

7) Failing to ask for what you want

I remember being in a job where I felt undervalued and overlooked. I was working long hours, making significant contributions, but my efforts seemed to go unnoticed.

Instead of speaking up, I kept quiet, hoping my hard work would speak for itself. But it didn’t. My silence was mistaken for contentment.

The truth is, if you don’t ask for what you want, whether it’s a promotion, a raise, or even just recognition for your hard work, people might assume you’re happy with the status quo.

Being assertive is not about being aggressive or demanding. It’s about expressing your needs and wants in a respectful and confident manner.

And when you do this, not only do you increase your chances of getting what you want, but you also command respect and are more likely to be taken seriously.

8) Overcompensating with jargon

Using too much industry jargon or technical terms might seem like a good way to show off your expertise, but it can actually backfire.

When you overload your conversations with these terms, especially with folks outside your field, it can seem like you’re trying too hard to impress.

Plus, it can make it tough for others to follow along, which might make them tune out.

The trick is to keep things simple and clear, without sacrificing accuracy. That way, you’re not just showing off your knowledge—you’re making sure everyone can understand and engage with what you’re saying.

And that’s what really earns you respect and makes people take you seriously.

9) Avoiding conflict

Conflict is never pleasant, but it’s a natural part of life. Whether it’s a disagreement with a colleague or a differing opinion with a friend, these situations are inevitable.

Avoiding conflict might seem like the easy way out, but it often leads to bigger problems later on. Not only does it allow issues to simmer, but it also suggests that you’re not willing to stand up for your beliefs or confront problems directly.

Being taken seriously doesn’t mean always agreeing with others. It means having the courage to voice your opinions, even when they’re unpopular, and being brave enough to tackle tough conversations head-on.

10) Not believing in yourself

At the end of the day, the most crucial factor in being taken seriously is believing in yourself. If you don’t value your ideas or see your own worth, it’s going to be tough for others to do so.

Believing in yourself doesn’t mean you have to be perfect or have all the answers. It means trusting your abilities, recognizing your value, and knowing that your opinions and ideas matter.

Your self-belief sets the tone for how others perceive and interact with you. So, hold your head high, trust in your abilities, and don’t be afraid to make your voice heard. You deserve to be taken seriously.

Final thoughts: The power lies within

The behaviors we’ve talked about might not always be obvious, but they can have a big impact on how others see us. But here’s the thing: the power to be taken seriously starts with us.

When we recognize and work on these behaviors, we’re taking the first step toward change. When we have confidence in ourselves, set boundaries, speak up with conviction, and value our own worth, we start to shift how others perceive us.

Being taken seriously isn’t about trying to manipulate how people see us—it’s about being authentic and believing in ourselves. It’s about finding that sweet spot between being humble and being assertive, between listening and making sure our voice is heard.