It’s a harsh reality that not all friendships stand the test of time.

As we age, we sometimes drift apart from old pals.

Often, people who lose friends as they grow older tend to display certain behaviors.

They’re not necessarily “bad” behaviors, but they do tend to lead to a disconnect.

In this article, we’ll explore these 8 behaviors to help you understand what might be happening in your own friendships.

The aim isn’t to point fingers or assign blame, but to foster understanding and perhaps help mend some bridges.

1) They stop reaching out

As we age, life gets busier. Jobs, families, responsibilities – all of these can take up a lot of our time.

Sometimes, this means our friendships take a back seat. The first behavior that people who fall out with friends often exhibit is they simply stop reaching out.

This isn’t always intentional. It can be as innocent as forgetting to return a phone call or not organizing the next catch-up.

But over time, this pattern of neglect can erode the strongest of friendships.

Friends may interpret this lack of contact as disinterest or even rejection.

And before you know it, what was once a close friendship starts feeling more like a distant memory.

The key here isn’t about assigning blame but understanding how this behavior can inadvertently damage friendships over time.

2) They become overly critical

Another common behavior is becoming overly critical of friends. This could be due to personal stress or dissatisfaction, but it often results in damage to the friendship.

Instead of offering support or constructive feedback, these individuals may start to nitpick, criticize, or belittle their friends.

This kind of negative behavior can build resentment and lead to a breakdown in the friendship.

It’s important to note that everyone has off days and may say things they don’t mean. But if this becomes a consistent pattern, it can be a sign of a deeper issue.

3) They fail to reciprocate

In my experience, one of the strongest indicators of a friendship that’s headed downhill is a lack of reciprocation.

You see, friendships, like most relationships, require a certain level of give and take.

If a person consistently accepts help, support, or favors from their friends without ever returning the gesture, it can lead to feelings of resentment and imbalance in the relationship.

This behavior can be especially damaging as people get older and their lives become more complex.

The issues they face are often bigger, and the need for mutual support is stronger than ever.

When one party fails to reciprocate, it can make the other feel unappreciated and taken for granted. This can put a serious strain on the friendship over time.

4) They lack mental toughness

This is a big one. I’ve found that people who fall out with friends as they get older often lack mental toughness.

Now, mental toughness isn’t about being stubborn or unfeeling.

It’s about resilience in the face of adversity, and it’s a quality that can greatly impact the longevity of our friendships.

Let’s face it, friendships are not always easy. They involve disagreements, misunderstandings, and sometimes hurt feelings.

It takes a certain level of mental toughness to navigate these challenges without letting them destroy the relationship.

Those who lack this mental toughness may choose to walk away from a friendship at the first sign of conflict, rather than working through the issue.

In my book, The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness, I delve into ways to cultivate this invaluable trait.

By building mental toughness, we can better handle the ups and downs that come with any relationship, including our friendships.

5) They avoid new experiences

This might seem counter-intuitive, but stick with me. One behavior I’ve observed in people who lose friends as they age is a tendency to avoid new experiences.

As we get older, it’s easy to fall into comfortable routines and resist change.

But this can be detrimental to friendships, especially those that thrive on shared experiences and adventures.

When a person consistently resists trying new things, it can limit the opportunities for bonding with friends.

Over time, this can lead to stagnation in the friendship and eventually cause it to fizzle out.

Ironically, while the intention might be to maintain comfort and safety, avoiding new experiences can inadvertently lead to the loss of valued friendships.

6) They stop showing empathy

Friendships are all about connection, and one of the strongest ways to connect with another person is through empathy.

Unfortunately, as some people age, they may become more self-focused and less empathetic toward their friends.

When a person stops showing empathy, their friends may feel unheard, unappreciated, and unsupported.

This lack of emotional connection can lead to a slow degradation of the friendship.

In contrast, maintaining empathy and taking the time to truly understand and care about your friends’ feelings can strengthen the bond and ensure the longevity of the friendship.

7) They withhold forgiveness

In my years of observing and experiencing friendships, I’ve noticed that those who tend to lose friends often struggle with forgiveness.

No friendship is perfect. We all make mistakes, say things we don’t mean, and sometimes hurt each other.

But a key component of any lasting friendship is the ability to forgive.

When a person withholds forgiveness, it fosters resentment and creates a barrier in the relationship.

This can be especially damaging as we get older and the stakes in our relationships get higher.

Learning to forgive isn’t always easy, but it is a crucial step in maintaining healthy, lasting friendships.

8) They stop growing

The final behavior I want to talk about is stagnation.

People who fall out with friends as they get older often stop growing, both personally and within the friendship itself.

Personal growth is important for maintaining friendships.

As we learn and evolve, we bring new perspectives and experiences to our relationships. This can help keep friendships fresh and interesting.

But when a person stops growing, it can lead to a sense of boredom or dissatisfaction within the friendship.

This lack of growth can create a disconnect between friends, leading to the eventual end of the relationship.

So, continual personal growth isn’t just beneficial for us as individuals; it’s also a key ingredient in sustaining long-term friendships.

If you find yourself relating to these behaviors, don’t despair. It’s never too late to work on yourself and improve your relationships.

To help you on this journey, I recommend checking out my book The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness.

It’s packed full of practical tips and strategies that can help you navigate the challenges of friendships, and life in general, with more resilience.

Remember, friendships are a vital part of our lives. They’re worth the effort it takes to maintain them.

So let’s keep learning, growing, and nurturing these important relationships as we age.