Falling out with close friends over political differences — it’s a scenario that’s all too common, especially in today’s politically charged climate.

It’s a painful experience, isn’t it? One minute you’re laughing together, and the next, you’re at odds over a political stance.

But what’s really at the heart of this?

Drawing from social psychology, I’m going to unpack the characteristics that usually mark those who let politics disrupt their friendships.

1) High intolerance for differing viewpoints

When it comes to political discussions, tolerance can be a tricky thing.

For some, it’s a given. They can engage in hearty debates and even if they don’t agree, they respect the other person’s perspective.

But not everyone has this level of tolerance.

You see, one key trait often found in those who end friendships over political differences is a high intolerance for views that clash with their own. It’s not just about the disagreement itself; it goes beyond that.

They struggle to separate the person from their political stance. The political viewpoint isn’t just seen as an opinion, but as an extension of the person’s character.

If you find yourself unable to stomach differing political views or assign character flaws based on someone’s political leaning, this could be a sign that you’re inclined to let politics interfere with your friendships.

Remember: it’s possible to disagree without devaluing the individual behind the opinion. If you’re finding this challenging, maybe it’s time for some self-reflection.

2) Strong “Us vs. Them” mentality

Ever heard of the in-group bias?

It’s a psychological phenomenon where people tend to favor those who belong to their own group, be it based on race, religion, or in this case, political affiliations.

Here’s the thing:

This bias can play a significant role in how we navigate our friendships, especially when politics comes into play.

People with a strong “Us vs. Them” mentality often view political affiliations as dividing lines. They can’t seem to bridge the gap between different political ideologies.

It’s like being on opposing sports teams. The other side isn’t just seen as different; it’s viewed as the enemy.

Seeing friends with differing political views as part of the “Them” and not the “Us,” — it may be a contributing factor to why political differences can lead to friendship fallouts.

And it’s worth noting, this mentality isn’t just harmful to your friendships; it can also limit your worldview and prevent you from understanding different perspectives.

3) Lack of empathy

On the surface, empathy and the “Us vs. Them” mentality seem to be two distinct traits. But when you delve deeper, you’ll find that they’re closely interlinked.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s about stepping into someone else’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective.

However, an “Us vs. Them” mentality can hinder this empathetic process. If you see someone as part of the “Them”, it becomes challenging to empathize with their experiences or viewpoints.

It might not be that you intentionally shut off your empathy. Instead, the strength of your political convictions might be creating an emotional barrier that prevents empathy from flowing freely.

4) Unwillingness to engage in constructive dialogue

Do you find it difficult to have a calm, rational discussion about political differences with your friends?

This could be telling.

A common trait among individuals who often fall out with friends over political differences is an unwillingness, or inability, to engage in constructive dialogue.

Instead of viewing political discussions as an opportunity to learn and grow, they might see it as a battlefield. The goal isn’t to understand the other’s viewpoint, but to prove them wrong.

When winning the argument becomes more important than preserving the friendship, that’s when cracks begin to appear.

Engaging in constructive dialogue requires a level of maturity and respect for the other person’s perspective. It means listening actively and responding thoughtfully, without launching into personal attacks or defensive postures.

5) Inflexibility in beliefs

People with this trait often:

• Hold strongly to their beliefs and refuse to consider alternative viewpoint
• Dismiss any evidence or arguments that contradict their own view
• Believe that their political stance is the absolute truth

Inflexibility in beliefs can make it difficult to maintain friendships with those who hold different political opinions. It can create an environment where there’s no room for discussion or compromise, leading to potential fallouts.

Being open-minded doesn’t mean you have to change your beliefs. It simply means being willing to listen and consider different perspectives, which is a vital part of maintaining diverse friendships.

6) Heavy reliance on stereotypes

We’ve all done it, haven’t we? Made assumptions about people based on their political leanings?

I know I have. It’s easy to fall into the trap of stereotypes. But here’s the thing: stereotypes are rarely, if ever, completely accurate.

People who sever friendships over political differences rely heavily on political stereotypes. They might assume that because a friend leans a certain way politically, they must hold all the stereotypical views associated with that affiliation.

Let’s be honest, it’s not fair to put people in boxes based on their political beliefs. We’re all unique individuals with complex opinions and thoughts.

Let’s try to see the person behind the political label and appreciate the diversity they bring to our world.

7) Inability to separate politics from personal life

Picture this: you’re having a casual chat with a close friend when suddenly, the conversation veers towards politics. Instantly, the mood shifts. What was a friendly conversation becomes a heated debate. Sound familiar?

This scenario is common for those who struggle to separate politics from their personal life. It’s almost as if their political beliefs have become so ingrained in their identity that every conversation eventually leads back to politics.

But here’s the question: does every discussion need to be a political one? Can we enjoy a friendship without constantly bringing politics into it?

If you find yourself unable to have a non-political conversation with friends, it might be time to reflect on why that is.

Keep in mind, while our political beliefs are important, they don’t define us completely. There’s more to us — and our friendships — than politics.

8) Fear of confrontation

I remember a friend of mine who would avoid political discussions at all costs. She was terrified of disagreements and the potential conflicts they might lead to.

So, when she discovered that some of her friends held opposing political views, she chose to distance herself from them.

It wasn’t that she didn’t value their friendship. She was just scared of the potential confrontations their differing views could cause.

Confrontation can be scary, no doubt about it. But it’s also a part of life. Avoiding it entirely, especially at the cost of valuable friendships, may not be the best approach.

Learning to navigate disagreements and confrontations in a healthy way is an important part of maintaining strong friendships, even when political views differ.

9) Lack of respect for different opinions

In a democratic society, everyone has the right to their own political beliefs. We may not always agree with them, but it’s important to respect them.

If a person can’t respect their friend’s political views, it often leads to tension and, potentially, the end of the friendship.

Remember this: a difference in political opinion does not equate to a difference in human value. We can disagree politically and still respect each other as individuals.

Recognizing and addressing this trait can be a pivotal step towards preserving our friendships amidst differing political views.

What now?

So, you’ve recognized some of these traits in yourself. What’s the next step?

Well, acknowledging is the first step. The second is to work on improving these traits. Here are three ways you can start:

• Practice active listening: When discussing politics, focus on understanding the other person’s viewpoint rather than preparing your counter-argument.
• Seek diverse perspectives: Expose yourself to different political ideologies and try to understand them without judgment.
• Develop empathy: Remember that everyone has their own unique experiences that shape their political beliefs.

Friendships are valuable and worth preserving, even when political views diverge. The key is to navigate these differences with respect, empathy, and an open mind.

As we move forward, let’s strive to be the kind of friends who can disagree politically but remain united in our shared humanity. After all, isn’t that what true friendship is all about?