Ever met those folks who dish out criticism like it’s confetti but go silent when it’s their turn to catch some flak? Yes, the ones who sling sharp remarks with ease but choke on their own words when the spotlight’s on them.

It’s a maddening dance—one I’ve encountered time and again in my study into mindfulness and Buddhism. I’ve dissected these scenarios, peering into the depths of human behavior to uncover 8 key personality traits shared by these one-sided critics.

In this piece, we’re diving deep into the psyche of those who excel at criticizing but crumble at the slightest hint of feedback. 

Ready? Let’s dive in.

1) Hyper-sensitivity

Let’s dive in with a trait shared by those who dish out criticism but can’t handle taking it: hyper-sensitivity.

You see, these folks are super tuned in to their own feelings and reactions. They catch wind of even the slightest hint of offense or perceived slight, and boom—out comes the sharp critique.

But here’s the kicker: when the spotlight swings their way and criticism comes knocking, their hyper-sensitivity kicks into high gear. Suddenly, it feels like an all-out attack, triggering defensiveness or flat-out denial.

From a mindfulness angle, this hyper-sensitivity often stems from a lack of emotional self-awareness. They might not quite grasp or be able to rein in their own emotional responses, leading to knee-jerk reactions rather than thoughtful reflection.

2) Lack of empathy

The second trait that often characterizes those who can dish out criticism but struggle to take it is a lack of empathy. They may be adept at picking out flaws in others, but they often struggle to understand or appreciate how their words might impact other people.

In my personal experiences, I’ve found that these individuals often view their criticism as ‘helpful’ or ‘constructive’, without realizing the emotional toll it may take on the person on the receiving end.

As Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Buddhist monk and mindfulness expert, once said, “Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name.”

In other words, empathy – understanding another person’s feelings – is a form of love. It allows us to relate to each other on a deeper level and creates a space for compassion and kindness.

When you lack empathy, it becomes much easier to criticize others without considering the impact of your words. And when someone criticizes you in return? Well, without empathy, it’s easy to see that as an attack rather than an opportunity for growth.

3) Ego-driven

One trait that is often glaringly obvious in people who can dish out criticism but can’t take it is an ego-driven attitude. Their self-perception is often inflated, and they struggle to accept any criticism because, in their minds, they can do no wrong.

In Buddhism, the ego is considered an obstacle on the path to enlightenment. It’s a barrier that prevents us from seeing our true nature and experiencing the interconnectedness of all things.

Individuals with an ego-driven attitude often believe they are separate and superior to others. This mindset creates a fertile ground for criticism, as they feel entitled to point out others’ flaws while ignoring their own.

However, when faced with criticism themselves, their inflated egos take a hit. Instead of accepting and learning from it, they often react defensively, further entrenching their egotistic perspective.

4) Inner insecurity

At the root of many people who are quick to criticize but defensive to feedback is a deep-seated insecurity. Despite their outward bravado or confidence, they may harbor inner doubts about their abilities or worth.

Insecurity often drives the need to criticize others. By pointing out others’ shortcomings, they can feel better about their own perceived flaws. It’s a form of self-defense – if they can make others appear worse, they can feel better in comparison.

However, when criticism is directed towards them, it hits too close to their insecurities. They may react defensively or deny the validity of the criticism, all in an effort to shield their fragile self-esteem.

5) Inability to self-reflect

The fifth trait common to people who can dish out criticism but can’t take it is a lack of self-reflection.

In my personal and professional journey, I’ve observed that these individuals often struggle to turn their critical lens inward. They can easily spot flaws in others, but they fail to identify and acknowledge their own shortcomings.

This inability to self-reflect can be a major hindrance to personal growth. After all, how can we improve if we refuse to see our own faults?

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I delve into the concept of self-reflection and how it’s fundamental to leading a fulfilling life.

By acknowledging our flaws and working on them, we can move forward with humility and resilience. It’s about striving for personal growth while steering clear of an ego-driven life. So if you’re dealing with someone who’s quick to judge but slow to self-reflect, remember that they’re missing out on an essential part of personal development.

6) Need for control

Here’s the deal: ever noticed how some folks just can’t seem to dish out criticism without flinching at the slightest hint of feedback?

Well, it often boils down to one thing: control.

These types are all about pulling the strings, calling the shots. Criticism becomes their weapon of choice to flex their authority, pointing out flaws left and right to keep that sense of superiority intact.

But flip the script, and when the spotlight’s on them? Suddenly, they’re squirming in discomfort, throwing up walls of defensiveness.

In the realm of mindfulness and Buddhism, this control craving usually ties back to fear and uncertainty. We’re talking about trying to grip onto everything in our lives like it’s a safety blanket, all to dodge anything that’s unpredictable or out of our hands.

For someone stuck in this loop of criticizing but not accepting criticism, it’s often a battle with letting go. Their need for control is like a fortress guarding against their own doubts and fears.

7) Fear of vulnerability

Diving deeper into the psyche of those who dish out criticism but can’t take it, we often find a profound fear of vulnerability.

These individuals use criticism as a shield against exposing their own weaknesses or insecurities. By keeping the focus on others, they avoid opening up and revealing their own vulnerabilities.

But when they’re subjected to criticism, it feels like an assault on their carefully guarded defenses. The fear of being exposed and judged can trigger a strong defensive reaction.

As American author and social worker Brené Brown puts it, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

In other words, there is strength in vulnerability. It takes courage to let our guard down, accept our flaws, and open ourselves up to criticism. But it’s this vulnerability that allows us to grow, connect with others on a deeper level, and find true inner peace.

8) Lack of mindful communication

Ironically, those who are quick to criticize others but can’t handle criticism themselves often lack mindful communication. You’d think that being so focused on others’ faults would make them adept communicators, but it’s often the opposite.

Mindful communication involves speaking with intention, listening with attention, and responding with respect. It’s about having constructive dialogues where both parties feel heard and valued.

But individuals who are quick to criticize often communicate in a one-sided manner. They focus on pointing out mistakes without acknowledging the good or providing encouraging feedback.

When they’re criticized themselves, their lack of mindful communication skills becomes evident. They may react defensively, dismiss the feedback outright, or even retaliate with more criticism.

Mirror mirror: Criticism’s reflection guides empathy forward

In wrapping up, it’s crucial to remember that understanding these traits in people who dish out criticism but struggle to take it isn’t about judging them. Instead, this insight helps us respond with empathy, patience, and compassion.

It’s also a reminder for us to be mindful of our own actions and reactions. None of us is above criticism, and we all have room for improvement. The key lies in being open to feedback and using it as a stepping stone for personal growth.

I delve deeper into these concepts in my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”. It’s a guide for anyone seeking to navigate life with more wisdom, self-awareness, and compassion.

In the end, dealing with criticism – whether giving or receiving – is a part of life. The more mindful we are in our approach, the better our relationships will be, and the more we will grow as individuals.