Self-doubt can be a sneaky trickster, making us question our abilities even when we have no reason to. Often, we don’t even realize that we’re stuck in this cycle of self-doubt.

It’s not always easy to recognize self-doubting behaviors in ourselves. After all, it’s not like we’re intentionally trying to undermine our own confidence.

But there are certain tell-tale signs that indicate when someone is doubting themselves unnecessarily. And once we know what these behaviors are, it becomes easier for us to start combating that nagging voice of self-doubt.

This article will shed light on 8 behaviors that people who doubt themselves often exhibit, without even realizing they’re doing it.

1) They constantly seek validation

Self-doubt often stems from a need for external validation. People who doubt themselves have a tendency to seek approval from others, as they find it hard to trust their own judgement.

It’s the whole “If everyone else thinks I’m good, then I must be good” kind of mentality. And while it’s perfectly normal to want some form of recognition, those with self-doubt take this to another level.

They’re constantly on the lookout for reassurance, whether it’s about their work performance, their appearance, or their decisions. It’s as though they need someone else to confirm their worth before they can believe in it themselves.

The downside is that this dependence on external validation can leave them feeling vulnerable and anxious. After all, what happens when that validation isn’t there?

Recognizing this behavior is the first step towards breaking the cycle of self-doubt. Because true confidence comes from within, not from what others think of us.

2) They overthink every decision

I’ve been there: staring at a restaurant menu, unable to decide what to order. It’s just a meal, but somehow it feels like a life-altering decision. And it’s not just about food – this indecisiveness spills over into other areas of life too.

When you’re filled with self-doubt, making even the simplest of choices can feel overwhelming. It’s as though you’re afraid of making the wrong decision, so you end up overthinking and analyzing every possible outcome.

For me, it was about choosing a college major. I spent sleepless nights weighing the pros and cons, fearing that one wrong decision would ruin my entire career. It was only later that I realized – there is no such thing as a perfect decision.

All choices come with their own set of challenges and rewards. And sometimes, it’s okay to make a choice and stick with it, even if it’s not “perfect”. Because the reality is, perfection is an illusion, and self-doubt only makes the quest for it even more exhausting.

3) They apologize excessively

Did you know that studies have found that people with low self-esteem tend to apologize more often, even when they aren’t at fault? This aligns with one of the most common behaviors exhibited by self-doubters – excessive apologizing.

Whether it’s saying sorry for things that are clearly not their fault, or apologizing for simply expressing their opinions, these individuals often feel the need to apologize constantly. It’s as if they believe they’re a burden or a nuisance to others.

This constant apologizing can be draining, not only for the person who’s always saying sorry but also for those around them. It can lead to a perception that they are lacking in confidence or assertiveness, which can further fuel their cycle of self-doubt.

4) They avoid taking risks

Risk-taking can be daunting for anyone, but for people who doubt themselves, it can seem downright terrifying. The fear of failure or of making a mistake is often so intense that they’d rather stick to their comfort zones than venture into the unknown.

They may pass up opportunities that could lead to growth or success, simply because they don’t trust themselves enough to handle potential challenges. It’s not about a lack of desire or ambition, but rather a fear of not being capable enough.

This avoidance of risk can hold them back from reaching their full potential. Recognizing this behavior can be a powerful step towards overcoming self-doubt and embracing opportunities with courage and confidence.

5) They’re prone to negative self-talk

Imagine having a friend who constantly belittles you, criticizes your every move, and tells you that you’re not good enough. It sounds heartbreaking, right?

Well, for those who doubt themselves, this isn’t just a hypothetical situation. It’s their reality – except the critic isn’t a friend, but their own internal voice.

Negative self-talk is a common behavior among those who struggle with self-doubt. They often have a harsh inner critic that magnifies their flaws and downplays their achievements. While we all have moments of self-criticism, for them, it’s an ongoing dialogue that erodes their self-esteem over time.

The sad truth is, if we spoke to our friends the way we sometimes speak to ourselves, we probably wouldn’t have any friends left.

6) They struggle with perfectionism

I remember a time when I’d spend hours working on a project, obsessing over every tiny detail. Even after it was done, I’d scrutinize it, worrying it wasn’t good enough. This wasn’t about striving for excellence – it was about an unattainable quest for perfection.

People who doubt themselves often struggle with perfectionism. They set impossibly high standards for themselves and live in fear of making mistakes. Every minor error becomes a catastrophe in their eyes, which only fuels their self-doubt.

The problem with chasing perfection is that it’s an endless pursuit. There will always be something to improve or tweak. Coming to terms with this can lead to a healthier approach towards work and life, where striving for progress is more important than chasing perfection.

7) They downplay their successes

You’ve probably met people who brush off compliments or downplay their achievements. “It was nothing,” they’d say, or “I just got lucky.” While modesty is a virtue, for people who doubt themselves, this behavior often stems from a deeper place of insecurity.

They struggle to accept praise and often attribute their successes to external factors like luck or timing, rather than their own abilities or hard work. It’s like they’re uncomfortable with the idea of being successful or talented.

This tendency to dismiss their accomplishments can reinforce their self-doubt and prevent them from recognizing their true potential. 

8) They’re overly concerned with others’ opinions

At the heart of self-doubt often lies an intense fear of judgement. People who doubt themselves constantly worry about what others think of them. They can become so preoccupied with trying to meet others’ expectations that they lose sight of their own needs and desires.

They might change their behavior, opinions, or even their appearance based on perceived societal standards or what they think others want. Their sense of self-worth becomes tied to external approval, which is unpredictable and fleeting.

Remember, it’s impossible to please everyone, and trying to do so can be exhausting and unfulfilling. The only opinion that truly matters is your own. Trust yourself, believe in your abilities, and let your true self shine through.