You know the feeling—you’re walking on eggshells, trying to avoid that one colleague who just drains your energy. It’s like they have a cloud of negativity following them, and it’s infectious.

But here’s the kicker: sometimes, that person could be us.

Yes, you heard that right. It’s easy to spot toxic behavior in others, but what about our own actions?

I’ll be honest, this may hit close to home.

We’re diving into a touchy subject here: unintentional toxicity. The behaviors that slip under our own radar, but send everyone else running for the hills.

You might think you’re just being direct or realistic, but through someone else’s eyes, it could look a lot different.

Before you dismiss the idea, let’s explore this together.

In this article, we’re going to explore those seemingly harmless habits that might actually be toxic.

It’s time for some self-reflection.

Ready to find out? Let’s get started.

1) Disrespecting boundaries

I’ll never forget that time when I pinged a coworker late at night about a project. It was urgent to me, so it had to be urgent to them, right? Wrong. 

The next day, my colleague gently reminded me that they had family time scheduled after hours. 

That’s when it hit me—I was the one disrespecting their boundaries, not the other way around.

It’s easy to assume everyone is on the same 24/7 grind as you. 

But here’s the thing: constantly overstepping personal limits isn’t dedication; it’s toxic. And it took that uncomfortable exchange for me to realize I might be part of the problem.

Whether it’s sending emails during the wee hours or expecting immediate responses on weekends, ignoring the line between work and personal life can quickly sour relationships. 

It’s like saying, “My time is more valuable than yours,” and that’s not the message we want to send, is it?

2) Passing the blame

Oh, the blame game. We’ve all played it at some point. I remember pointing fingers at another department when a project I led hit a snag. It was easier than admitting I hadn’t communicated our needs clearly.

But as much as it stung, being called out for shifting responsibility was a wake-up call I needed.

Blame-shifting doesn’t just hurt others; it stunts our growth. When we’re too busy looking for a scapegoat, we miss the chance to learn from our mistakes. 

Plus, it erodes trust. Colleagues start to see us as someone who will throw them under the bus to save face.

Recognizing this pattern in ourselves can be tough—no one likes to be the villain in their own story. But sometimes, we are, and realizing this is the first step toward change. 

The goal is to create an environment where everyone, including ourselves, feels safe enough to own up to their mistakes. Only then can real teamwork flourish.

3) Constant negativity

Did you know that negativity can affect the brain? Research has shown that exposure to consistent negative attitudes increases stress hormones in the body, which can lead to a myriad of health issues and decreased cognitive function over time. 

It’s a silent toxin that creeps into the workplace, often without us even realizing it.

When someone is always complaining about the tasks at hand, the decisions of management, or the direction of the company, it can quickly deflate the morale of the team. 

And this constant negativity can not only dampen the workplace atmosphere but also stunt creativity and problem-solving abilities.

If we find ourselves frequently focusing on the downside without contributing solutions, we might inadvertently be spreading toxicity rather than fostering a proactive work environment.

4) Ignoring the successes of others

There’s a subtle form of toxicity that we might not recognize in ourselves—the failure to acknowledge the achievements of our colleagues. It might not seem like much, but think about the times you’ve worked hard on something and nobody seemed to notice. It stings, doesn’t it?

In the hustle of our daily tasks, it’s easy to get so wrapped up in our own world that we overlook the milestones and successes of those around us. 

However, when we celebrate each other’s victories, no matter how small, we build a foundation of mutual respect and encouragement. It’s about creating an environment where everyone feels valued and seen. 

By cheering on our colleagues, we not only lift their spirits but also nurture a culture of positivity that can uplift us all.

5) Failing to listen

I’m guilty of this one—thinking about my response while someone else is talking, instead of truly listening to what they’re saying. It wasn’t until a friend called me out during a casual chat that I saw how dismissive I was being.

She said, “It’s like you’re not really here with me.” That hit hard. I realized that if I was doing this with a friend, chances were high I was doing it at work too.

Active listening is a skill that many of us think we have, but few of us actually practice. It involves more than just hearing words; it’s about understanding the message behind them. 

When we fail to give our full attention, we miss out on important details, but more importantly, we send a message that the speaker’s thoughts and feelings aren’t our priority.

Since that eye-opening talk with my friend, I’ve made a conscious effort to be present in conversations at work. When someone speaks to me now, I put aside distractions and focus on their words. 

It’s amazing how much more connected and productive our interactions have become. It turns out, being a good listener can transform relationships and create a deeper sense of respect and collaboration among team members.

6) Resisting change

Change is a constant in life, especially in the dynamic landscape of the modern workplace. But when we dig our heels in at every new direction or suggestion, we might not see our own resistance as a form of toxicity. Yet, it stifles growth and innovation.

I once worked with someone who was particularly set in their ways. Every time a new process was introduced, they’d argue fervently for the ‘old way’ of doing things. It wasn’t just about preference; their resistance created a barrier to progress.

Teams became divided between those wanting to move forward and those stuck looking backward, all because one person couldn’t embrace change.

It’s natural to feel uncomfortable with new challenges, but when we let that discomfort turn into obstruction, we’re not just holding ourselves back—we’re holding back our entire team.

7) Overpromising and underdelivering

We’ve all been in that position where we want to impress our boss or colleagues, so we promise the moon—only to realize later that we can’t deliver even half of it. It’s an easy trap to fall into, but consistently overpromising and underdelivering can quickly tarnish our reputation.

Here’s the key: set realistic expectations from the start. It’s better to surprise with unexpected progress than to disappoint with unmet promises.

This builds trust and shows that you’re someone who can be counted on to assess situations accurately and manage them effectively.

8) Manipulating others

Manipulation can be as plain as outright deception or as subtle as nudging people to do what we want through guilt or flattery. 

It’s a toxic trait that’s often justified as being “strategic” or “persuasive,” but in reality, it erodes trust and creates an environment of suspicion.

Being direct and transparent with our intentions makes for a healthier workplace where people feel secure and respected. It’s about having genuine interactions rather than seeing every conversation as a chess move.

Conclusion

Recognizing toxic traits in ourselves isn’t pleasant; it’s like looking in a mirror and not liking what we see. But it’s also the first step toward positive change. 

And by being aware of how our actions affect those around us—whether it’s by respecting boundaries, taking responsibility, fostering positivity, celebrating others’ successes, listening actively, embracing change, setting realistic expectations, or interacting with integrity—we can transform not only our work environment but also our personal growth and relationships.

Nobody’s perfect, and slipping up now and then is human. What matters is our willingness to learn from these moments and make a conscious effort to improve. 

Let’s strive not just for success in our tasks but also for excellence in how we treat others—because at the end of the day, the respect we give is a reflection of the respect we command.