Pursuing happiness has been a prevailing narrative in my life, punctuated only by fleeting moments of contentment.

Despite tirelessly chasing joy, I often find myself being examined—by puzzled friends, concerned relatives, and even introspective self-reflection—each subtly suggesting that perhaps my approach is flawed.

In this article, I’ll identify 7 common character traits that are typically found in individuals who incessantly chase happiness yet seldom experience it.

1) They’re perpetually unsatisfied

This was a difficult one for me to accept.

“Always wanting more” originated from the belief that my happiness depended on external accomplishments. But the truth is, my constant dissatisfaction was already present before I achieved or didn’t achieve these goals.

Allow me to elaborate.

Consider your desires right now. You land a promotion, but you want a higher salary. You buy a house, but you dream of a bigger one. You go on vacation, but you wish it could be longer. While reading these words, you’ve probably thought of something more you want.

If you’re going to pursue happiness, it’s crucial to acknowledge that perpetual dissatisfaction is not the path to joy. It’s an instinctive response.

It’s essential to relinquish the belief that happiness is always just beyond the next accomplishment. It’s not. Your actions and attitude are most effective when they appreciate the present moment. When you act contentedly.

2) They romanticize happiness

This was a peculiar realization for me.

“Imagining happiness as a destination” was rooted in the notion that my joy would be achieved once I reached certain milestones. However, the truth is, this romanticized idea of happiness existed independent of my actual experiences.

Let’s delve into this.

Reflect on your expectations of joy right now. You think happiness will come with a successful career, a loving partner, or perhaps leisurely retirement. You achieve these things, but happiness doesn’t feel the way you imagined.

As you read these words, you’ve probably pictured an ideal scenario where you’re undoubtedly happy.

It’s crucial to dispel the idea that happiness is a romanticized state awaiting at the end of certain achievements.

Your emotions are most authentic when they stem from actual experiences rather than idealized scenarios. When you act realistically.

3) They often compare themselves to others

This is a tricky habit to break.

You may convince yourself that this is a healthy competition, but soon, you’ll find yourself envious of the happiness you perceive in others’ lives.

You might even find yourself being the object of such comparison. Few self-esteem levels can withstand that kind of blow.

Comparison tends to sneak into all aspects of life, but when you willingly indulge in comparing your happiness to others’, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

It’s time to question the role of comparison in your pursuit of happiness.

Perhaps you and your peers are comparing each other because there’s an underlying insecurity about your own contentment.

Frequently, we chastise ourselves for comparing, as if it’s an emotion we’re not supposed to feel.

4) They equate happiness with material success

I started this article by focusing on traits and attitudes.

The fact is, these traits and attitudes also justify how we perceive happiness.

In my case, I used to associate happiness with my professional achievements. I would get absorbed in climbing the corporate ladder.

My intentions were noble. I believed that success could cultivate an environment of happiness.

But when I got so engrossed in this pursuit, I would slip into the habit of believing my professional success was more significant than my emotional well-being. I’d lose touch with what truly mattered. I’d become irritable and probably not such a joyful person to be around.

If I evaluated myself based on my intentions, I wouldn’t question my approach.

Instead, because I don’t focus on my intentions, I am more equipped to reflect on my actions and change my approach. I am learning to value emotional fulfillment over material success.

How you experience happiness is what matters, not the material success driving your pursuit.

5) They dismiss the power of gratitude

This was a lesson I learned through personal experience.

I used to believe that “more” was the answer. More success, more money, more recognition. In my mind, these were the things that would bring me happiness.

But as I chased these things, I found that happiness remained elusive. It was always just out of reach, tied to the next goal, the next achievement.

Then one day, during a particularly low point in my life, a friend recommended that I start a gratitude journal. It seemed trivial at the time – how could writing down things I was grateful for change anything?

Reluctantly, I decided to give it a try. Every night before bed, I’d write down three things from that day that I was grateful for. Some days it was as simple as a good meal or a kind word from a stranger.

Slowly but surely, I began to notice a shift in my perspective. I started to appreciate what I had rather than constantly longing for more. And in those moments of gratitude, I realized I felt truly happy.

This taught me that happiness isn’t something you chase; it’s something you find in your everyday life when you take the time to appreciate what you already have.

6) They overlook the role of adversity

People who constantly chase happiness often fail to realize the crucial role adversity plays in shaping our lives. They view hardships as setbacks on their journey towards happiness, not understanding that these experiences are integral in cultivating resilience and personal growth.

Here’s the key point:

This perspective encourages us to reevaluate how we perceive adversity, to understand its value, and to respect the strength it fosters within us.

For those feeling disheartened, accepting adversity can provide a sense of perspective. It’s a reminder that our struggles are not stumbling blocks but stepping stones on our path towards personal growth.

7) They believe happiness is a constant state

Often, those in perpetual pursuit of happiness harbor the misconception that happiness is a continual, unwavering state of being. They strive for a life where happiness is not just an emotion, but a permanent condition.

But here’s the insight:

Happiness, like any other emotion, is fleeting. It comes and goes, influenced by our circumstances, interactions, and even our own thoughts.

The beauty of happiness lies in its transient nature, its ability to surprise us in unexpected moments, and its absence that makes us appreciate its presence even more.

For those feeling disillusioned in their pursuit of constant happiness, embracing the ebb and flow of emotions can cultivate a healthier outlook. Life is a spectrum of emotions and happiness is just one color on this vast canvas.

Bottom line: It could be perspective

For those who constantly chase happiness but never feel it, redefining their perspective might be the key to experiencing joy. This shift could potentially evoke a sense of fulfillment and contentment when they stop chasing and start appreciating.

Whether it’s finding joy in the simplicity of daily life, celebrating small victories, expressing gratitude for what they already have, or understanding that happiness comes in moments rather than being a constant state, the underlying shift in perspective can transform their experience.

Life is not just about the pursuit of happiness; it’s about finding happiness in the pursuit. Enjoy the journey. And once we grasp that, we can stop chasing happiness and start living it.