There’s a big gap between who we think we attract and who we actually attract in life.

Often, the root cause lies in our behaviors. We unknowingly display certain actions that draws in the wrong crowd.

Attracting the wrong people is usually an unintentional result of certain habits. And those who consistently find themselves in this situation might not even realize what they’re doing wrong.

Here are some behaviors to look out for if you feel like you’re constantly attracting the wrong people in life.

1) Overly accommodating

A prevalent behavior observed among individuals who continuously find themselves surrounded by the wrong crowd is the tendency to be excessively accommodating.

There’s an innate inclination among some to go to great lengths to satisfy the desires and demands of others, often at the expense of their own well-being.

Initially, this inclination may appear commendable—who wouldn’t want to be recognized as someone dependable and always ready to lend a hand? But therein lies the crux of the matter.

Excessive accommodation frequently serves as a beacon for those inclined to exploit such generosity. These individuals recognize that you’re willing to go above and beyond to accommodate their wishes, and they unapologetically capitalize on this trait.

2) Ignoring gut feelings

Another behavior I’ve noticed in people who constantly attract the wrong crowd is the tendency to ignore gut feelings.

I remember a time when I met someone new at a social gathering. They were charming, outgoing, and everyone seemed to enjoy their company. But for some reason, I had this nagging gut feeling that something wasn’t right.

Instead of listening to my intuition, I brushed off those feelings, thinking I was just being overly cautious. As time went on, however, it became clear that my gut feeling was right. This person ended up causing a lot of drama and conflict within our social circle.

Your intuition is a powerful tool and can often sense when something or someone isn’t right for you. If you constantly find yourself attracting the wrong people, try to tune into your gut feelings more often.

Remember, it’s not about being judgmental or paranoid, but about trusting your instincts when they’re trying to warn you about potential harm.

3) Lack of boundaries

Boundaries are essential in any healthy relationship. They help define what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t.

People who fail to set clear boundaries often attract individuals who are likely to overstep them. This might be because those who disregard boundaries are drawn to situations where they can exercise control and dominance.

Without clear boundaries, you might find yourself constantly in relationships where your needs and well-being are overlooked, according to researchers. This behavior of not setting boundaries can unknowingly attract the wrong people into your life, leading to situations that are more draining than fulfilling.

Remember, it’s perfectly okay to say no when you need to and to establish what behavior you will and won’t accept from others. This not only helps maintain your self-respect but also keeps you from attracting those who may take advantage of your lack of boundaries.

4) Constant self-doubt

Self-doubt is a behavior that can profoundly affect the kind of people we attract in our lives.

When we constantly second-guess ourselves and our worth, we may end up attracting individuals who reinforce these negative beliefs. These might be people who belittle you, make you feel inadequate or constantly highlight your flaws.

This behavior of self-doubt can become a self-fulfilling prophecy where you start to believe that you deserve the negative treatment you receive.

Breaking free from this cycle involves recognizing your self-worth and understanding that everyone has unique strengths and weaknesses. Once you start respecting yourself, you’ll naturally attract people who respect you too.

5) Fearing solitude

People who fear being alone often end up attracting the wrong people into their lives.

This fear can make you jump into relationships or friendships hastily, without really getting to know the other person or assessing their character. The desperation to avoid being alone can cloud your judgment, making you overlook red flags that indicate you’re with the wrong person.

It’s essential to understand that being alone doesn’t equate to loneliness. In fact, spending time alone can be empowering. It gives you a chance to understand yourself better, explore your interests, and build your self-confidence.

By overcoming the fear of solitude, you can be more selective about the people you allow into your life, ultimately leading to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

6) Prioritizing others’ happiness over yours

One of the sweetest yet potentially risky habits is always putting others’ happiness before your own.

It’s super noble to care so much about the people in your life. But when you’re constantly sacrificing your own joy for theirs, you might end up attracting folks who take advantage of your kindness.

Those who notice your consistent selflessness might just see it as a chance to benefit themselves, without even thinking about what you’re giving up in return.

But here’s the thing: looking out for your own happiness isn’t selfish—it’s the crux of human rights. You deserve to chase after what makes you happy.

And as you start valuing your own happiness, you’ll naturally draw in people who not only respect it but also make it a priority just like you do.

7) Seeking validation from others

I spent a significant part of my life seeking validation from others. Whether it was about my appearance, my work, or my decisions, I constantly sought approval, thinking it would make me feel more valued.

This behavior, however, only attracted people who reinforced this unhealthy cycle. They knew I craved validation and used it to manipulate and control me.

What I’ve learned is that the only validation that truly matters is the one that comes from within. Once I started acknowledging my self-worth and stopped relying on others for approval, I noticed a significant shift in the type of people I attracted.

Seeking validation from others might seem like a solution to low self-esteem, but it only contributes to attracting the wrong people. Instead, strive for self-validation. It’s a journey of self-discovery and self-love and can lead to attracting people who appreciate you for who you are.

8) Suppressing emotions

Suppressing your emotions is another behavior that can attract the wrong people into your life.

When you’re constantly holding back your feelings, whether it’s out of fear of judgment or conflict, you may attract people who disregard your emotional health. These individuals might not take your feelings into consideration, knowing that you’re likely to keep silent about it.

Expressing how you feel doesn’t make you weak or overly sensitive. It makes you human. By openly communicating your emotions, you establish a level of respect for your feelings.

Remember, your emotions are valid and should be acknowledged, not suppressed. By doing so, you’ll likely attract people who understand and respect your emotional needs.

9) Neglecting self-care

The most important thing to understand is that neglecting self-care can unknowingly attract the wrong people into your life.

When you don’t take enough time for self-care and self-love, you might end up attracting individuals who treat you the same way – with lack of care and consideration. This is because how you treat yourself sets the standard for how others should treat you.

Prioritizing self-care is not about being selfish or egotistical. It’s about recognizing your worth and giving yourself the love and care that you deserve.

Invest in yourself, love yourself, and take good care of yourself. This will not only improve your relationship with yourself but will also attract people who genuinely care about your well-being.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-awareness

The behaviors we’ve discussed don’t define you, but recognizing them can help steer you towards healthier relationships.

Whether it’s acknowledging your self-doubt, setting boundaries, or prioritizing self-care, each step brings you closer to attracting the right people.

Remember, it’s not about changing who you are. It’s about being aware of your behaviors and their impacts on your relationships. This journey towards self-awareness may be challenging, but it’s a worthwhile pursuit that can profoundly influence the quality of relationships we attract in life.