People who connect well with others rarely use these 9 confusing terms

Graeme Richards by Graeme Richards | October 12, 2024, 3:24 am

In the world of communication, there’s a clear divide between those who connect well with others and those who leave people scratching their heads.

This division often comes down to word choice. People who connect well with others know how to express themselves in a way that’s easy to understand. They avoid confusing terms that can muddle their message and cause misunderstandings.

And guess what? There are some key terms that these effective communicators rarely use.

In this article, I’m going to list 9 of these confusing terms that people with great communication skills steer clear of.

1) Basically

One term that people who connect well with others tend to avoid is “basically”.

Why? Because it’s a word that can easily be misinterpreted. It can come across as condescending, as if you’re dumbing things down for the listener. It can also be seen as dismissive, like you’re trying to quickly gloss over details that might actually be important.

Strong communicators know that if something needs simplifying, there are better ways to do it. They’ll take the time to explain things clearly and thoroughly, without resorting to “basically”.

Keep this in mind next time you’re in a conversation. You might be surprised at how avoiding this one little word can improve your connections with others.

2) Literally

Now, here’s a term that I’ve been guilty of overusing myself: “literally”.

It’s one of those words that’s slipped into everyday language and has been stripped of its original meaning. These days, people use “literally” to emphasize a point, even when they’re not speaking literally at all.

I remember once telling a friend that I was “literally dying of laughter.” Of course, I was just trying to say that something was really funny, but the misuse of the word ‘literally’ took away from my message.

People who connect well with others understand the importance of clear and accurate communication. They avoid using “literally” in a figurative sense which can confuse or even annoy others.

From my experience, using words in their proper context fosters better understanding and deeper connections. So, I’ve been consciously trying to keep “literally” for when I truly mean it.

3) Irregardless

“Irregardless” is a term that’s often used in conversation, but you’d be hard-pressed to find it in any formal writing or professional dialogue.

This is because “irregardless” is actually not considered a real word by many language experts. It’s an unnecessary blend of “regardless” and “irrespective”, two words which already fully express the intended meaning.

People who connect well with others avoid using terms like “irregardless” that can cause confusion or even discredit their credibility. They stick to clear, recognized language to ensure their message is understood and respected.

4) Honestly

Another term that often trips up communication is “honestly”. When used unnecessarily, it can raise suspicion. After all, shouldn’t we be honest in our conversations all the time? If you’re saying “honestly” before a statement, does that mean you weren’t being honest before?

Effective communicators understand this potential for confusion and mistrust. They avoid throwing in “honestly” unnecessarily and instead let their words and actions demonstrate their sincerity.

Remember, clarity and trust are key to connecting well with others. Avoiding terms that might cast doubt on your honesty is a simple way to strengthen these connections.

5) Just

The term “just” can be a subtle underminer in your conversations. It’s often used to soften a statement or request, but it can also diminish the importance of what you’re saying.

For example, saying “I just think that…” might make it seem like your opinion isn’t worth much. Similarly, “Could you just…” might make it sound like you’re minimizing the effort involved in the task you’re asking for.

Effective communicators know the value of their words and ideas. They avoid using “just” in a way that weakens their message. Instead, they express their thoughts and requests confidently, fostering stronger connections with others.

6) Whatever

“Whatever” can be a conversation killer. Often used to express indifference or dismissiveness, it can shut down dialogue and create a sense of disconnect.

I’ve learned that using “whatever” in response to someone’s thoughts or feelings can make them feel that their input isn’t valued. It’s a term that can inadvertently cause hurt and misunderstanding.

People who truly connect well with others understand the power of words. They choose their language carefully to promote open and respectful conversation. The term “whatever” is rarely in their vocabulary, replaced with more thoughtful responses that show they’re really listening and care about the other person’s perspective.

7) Fine

“Fine” is a term that can be particularly confusing. It’s often used when we’re anything but fine, as a way to avoid expressing how we truly feel.

I remember a time when I was going through a challenging phase at work. When asked how I was, my default answer was “I’m fine.” But in reality, I was struggling and could have used some support.

People who connect well with others understand that honest, open communication is key to building strong relationships. They don’t hide behind “fine”, but instead express their feelings genuinely. This authenticity allows for deeper connections and more meaningful conversations.

8) Always/Never

“Always” and “never” are two terms often used in absolutes. However, they can be problematic in conversations as they can come across as accusatory or exaggerated.

For example, saying “You always forget to call me” or “You never take out the trash” can make the other person feel cornered, and it may not reflect the true situation.

Effective communicators recognize this and avoid using these terms in a way that can escalate conflicts or create misunderstandings. They opt for more accurate language that accurately reflects the situation, leading to more productive conversations.

9) Maybe

The term “maybe” can be a significant barrier to effective communication. It represents indecision and can leave conversations hanging in the air, without clear resolution or direction.

People who connect well with others understand the importance of clarity and decisiveness in conversation. They avoid “maybe” when a more definitive response is called for, ensuring their communication is clear, thoughtful, and direct. This builds trust and understanding, forming stronger, more meaningful connections.

Final thoughts: Communication is key

The ability to connect with others is deeply tied to our communication style. Words carry weight, and the terms we choose to use can make a significant impact on our relationships.

Understanding this, we realize that avoiding certain confusing terms isn’t just about clarity, but about building trust, respect, and mutual understanding. It’s about fostering an environment where others feel heard, valued, and connected.

So, as we navigate through our conversations, let’s aim to choose our words wisely. Let’s strive for clear, honest, and respectful language. Not only will this enhance our connections with others, but it will also elevate the quality of our interactions.

After all, as the renowned author Rumi once said, “Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words.”