Worrying too much about what others think can often lead to certain behaviors which might not be immediately obvious to the individual.

Hello there, I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a huge mindfulness enthusiast. I’ve noticed that those who are overly concerned with others’ opinions tend to fall into patterns of behavior that they may not even realize they’re exhibiting.

By understanding these behaviors, we can start to acknowledge them and then work towards breaking free from this cycle of constant concern about others’ perceptions.

From my observations, there are 9 typical behaviors that stand out. Let’s delve into them.

1) Overthinking interactions

I’ve noticed a common trait among people who care too much about what others think. They often overthink social interactions.

You see, these individuals tend to replay conversations in their head, analysing every word and gesture. They worry about how they came across and whether they said the right things. And if there’s even a slight hint of awkwardness or conflict, they’ll be dwelling on it for hours, or even days.

This constant over-analysis can be exhausting and can take a toll on their mental health. But the catch is – they often don’t realize they’re doing it. It’s just a habit that’s ingrained in their behavior.

Recognizing this pattern is the first step towards breaking free from the worry of what others might be thinking about you.

2) Seeking constant validation

A few years ago, I found myself constantly seeking validation from those around me.

Let me explain. If I made a decision or took up a new hobby, I’d find myself sharing it with others, not out of excitement, but because I was looking for their approval. If they reacted positively, I felt a sense of relief. But if they didn’t, or worse, if they didn’t seem to care, it would leave me feeling anxious and questioning my choices.

Looking back now, I realize that this behavior was rooted in my concern for what others thought of me. The need for external validation was a symptom of me caring too much about people’s opinions.

If you find yourself constantly seeking approval or validation from others, it might be a sign that you’re overly concerned with what others think. Recognizing this pattern is a crucial step in learning to trust your own judgment and decisions.

3) Avoiding conflict at all costs

People who are overly concerned with others’ opinions have a strong tendency to avoid conflict. They fear that disagreement might lead to disapproval or even rejection.

Interestingly, a study found that people who avoid conflict are more likely to experience depression, stress and low life satisfaction.

This constant avoidance can also lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. It’s crucial to realize that healthy conflict can lead to personal growth and improved relationships. It’s about standing up for your beliefs and opinions without fearing others’ judgment.

4) Suppressing their true self

In my observations, individuals who care excessively about others’ opinions often suppress their true self. They shy away from expressing their true feelings, opinions, or desires because they fear judgment or rejection.

In doing so, they sacrifice authenticity for acceptance. But this goes against one of the fundamental teachings of Buddhism: the importance of being true to oneself.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve into this concept in depth. The Buddha taught that suppressing who we truly are to please others is a path to suffering. It’s only when we embrace our authentic self, with all its flaws and strengths, that we can find true happiness.

If you’re interested in learning more about this, you can find my book on Amazon here.

5) Fear of failure

I must admit, there was a time in my life when I was afraid to take risks or try new things. The fear of failure was too overwhelming. The thought of others seeing me fail, of them thinking less of me, it was paralyzing.

This fear held me back from many opportunities. I missed out on learning experiences because I was too concerned about the possibility of failure and how others would perceive me.

It took a lot of self-reflection and courage to overcome this fear. Now, I understand that failure is a part of growth, a part of life. It’s not something to be feared, but something to be embraced as a stepping stone towards success.

If you find yourself avoiding new experiences or opportunities due to fear of failure, it might be a sign that you’re overly concerned with what others think.

6) People-pleasing tendency

You might think that being a people-pleaser is a good thing, right? After all, it means you’re helpful, accommodating and kind. But here’s the counter-intuitive part: it can actually be a sign that you care too much about what others think.

People-pleasers often have an intense desire to keep everyone around them happy, even at the cost of their own happiness or well-being. This can stem from a fear of rejection or a need for approval.

It’s important to help others and be considerate, but not at the cost of your own needs. Striking a balance is key. If you find yourself constantly putting others’ needs before your own, it might be time to reassess and start practicing some self-care. It’s okay to say no sometimes.

7) Over-apologizing

If you’re someone who finds yourself saying “sorry” often, even when it’s not necessary, it could be a sign that you are overly concerned about what others think. Over-apologizing can stem from a fear of offending others or being seen in a negative light.

While apologizing when you’ve done something wrong is a good trait, unnecessary apologies can make you seem less confident and can undermine your self-esteem.

Remember, it’s okay to take up space and voice your thoughts. You don’t need to apologize for expressing your opinions or feelings. Start noticing when you apologize and ask yourself if it was really necessary. This awareness can help break the cycle of over-apologizing.

8) Difficulty making decisions

I’ve noticed in the past that when I was too concerned about others’ opinions, it affected my decision-making process. I would find myself considering what others might think of my choices, rather than focusing on what I truly wanted or needed.

People who care too much about what others think often struggle with decision-making. They worry about how their choices will be perceived by others. This can lead to indecisiveness and can prevent them from pursuing their true desires or goals.

If you find yourself constantly seeking advice or approval from others before making decisions, it might be a sign that you’re too worried about others’ opinions. Trust in yourself and your ability to make the right choices for your life.

9) Sacrificing personal happiness

The final, and perhaps most poignant behavior, is the tendency to sacrifice personal happiness in an effort to please others or meet societal expectations. This often occurs when individuals prioritize others’ opinions over their own needs and desires.

This is not a sustainable way to live. True contentment comes from living authentically and pursuing your own happiness, regardless of what others may think. Remember, it’s your life and you have the right to live it in a way that brings you joy and fulfillment.