Maintaining a long-term relationship can be a bit tricky. Sometimes, you might find yourself wondering why your relationships don’t seem to last.

It’s not always about what you do, but also about what you don’t realize you’re doing. In fact, certain behaviors can unknowingly sabotage a relationship’s longevity.

Unraveling the mystery of these behaviors can be key to understanding why some people struggle to keep their relationships going strong. And I’m here to share with you these 7 common behaviors that often go unnoticed.

1) Lack of communication

Communication, or rather the lack of it, is one of the biggest relationship killers.

Often, people who struggle to maintain long-term relationships are not very good at expressing their feelings or thoughts. They tend to keep things to themselves, avoid confrontations, or simply not disclose their emotions.

Think about it. If your partner doesn’t know what’s bothering you, how can they make amends or change their behavior?

This failure to communicate creates a gap between the parties involved. And as this gap widens, the relationship starts to falter.

If you find yourself struggling to express your feelings or thoughts in a relationship, it’s time for a change. Open communication can often be the key to resolving issues and paving the way for a long-lasting relationship.

2) Taking things for granted

Another common behavior that can undermine a relationship is taking your partner for granted.

For instance, I remember a time in one of my past relationships where I got so comfortable, I started taking my partner’s efforts for granted. She would always go the extra mile to make me feel special – cooking my favorite meals, surprising me with thoughtful gifts, and supporting me unconditionally.

But over time, I began to expect these things as given. I didn’t fully appreciate her efforts or reciprocate them. It became a one-sided affair where she was putting in all the effort and I was just reaping the benefits.

This imbalance led to resentment, and eventually our relationship came to an end. It was a tough lesson to learn, but it taught me the importance of not taking a partner for granted.

If you find yourself expecting your partner to always be there and do everything without showing any appreciation or reciprocation, it might be time to reassess your behavior.

3) Avoiding vulnerability

Being vulnerable in a relationship can sometimes feel like walking on a tightrope. Yet, vulnerability forms the backbone of deep, meaningful connections.

Brené Brown, a renowned researcher and author, has spent years studying vulnerability. Her findings suggest that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but rather a mark of courage. It’s about showing up and being seen for who you are, warts and all.

Yet, many people who struggle with maintaining long-term relationships often shy away from being vulnerable. They put up walls and hide their true selves, fearing judgment or rejection.

However, by not allowing yourself to be vulnerable, you prevent your partner from truly knowing and understanding you. This lack of emotional intimacy can eventually lead to a disconnect between both parties, causing the relationship to falter.

Embracing vulnerability might seem scary at first, but it’s a crucial step towards building a resilient and lasting relationship.

4) Being overly critical

Constructive criticism is a healthy part of any relationship. It allows us to address issues and grow together. But there’s a fine line between constructive criticism and being overly critical.

Some individuals have a tendency to nitpick and criticize their partners excessively, often focusing on the negatives rather than the positives. This constant criticism can make their partner feel undervalued and unappreciated.

Over time, this can lead to resentment and create a hostile environment, ultimately pushing the relationship towards a breaking point.

If you find yourself constantly criticizing your partner, it might be worth reflecting on why you’re doing it and how it’s affecting your relationship.

5) Neglecting self-care

In a relationship, it’s easy to get so wrapped up in caring for the other person that you forget to take care of yourself. I’ve been there, putting my partner’s needs and wants before my own, to the point where I started losing myself in the relationship.

Self-care isn’t just about physical health; it extends to mental and emotional wellbeing too. When you neglect self-care, it can lead to burnout, resentment, and emotional exhaustion. It also affects your ability to be a good partner.

In a healthy relationship, both partners understand and respect the importance of self-care. They give each other the space and time needed to recharge and rejuvenate.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential for maintaining a healthy, long-term relationship.

6) Holding onto past grudges

Past grudges and resentment can act like an anchor, pulling down even the most promising of relationships.

Some individuals have a tendency to hold on to past hurts and disappointments. They bring up these past issues during arguments or use them as ammunition during disagreements. This cycle of negativity can create an environment of constant tension and conflict.

Holding onto grudges not only harms your relationship but also affects your personal wellbeing. It prevents you from moving forward and building a healthier, happier relationship.

7) Fear of commitment

The fear of commitment can be a significant roadblock in maintaining a long-term relationship. It can stem from various factors – past heartbreak, fear of losing independence, or even the fear of choosing the wrong person.

This fear often leads to an inability to fully invest in a relationship. It’s like having one foot out the door, ready to run at the first sign of trouble. This hesitance can prevent the relationship from reaching its true potential.

Overcoming this fear involves introspection and possibly professional help. It’s about understanding and addressing your fears, and realizing that commitment is not a loss of freedom, but rather a decision to share your life with someone special.