Public displays of affection (PDA) – some people can’t get enough of it, while others squirm at the very thought.

You’ve probably noticed this difference in perspectives. Maybe you’ve even found yourself questioning why that is.

Well, as it turns out, psychology has some insights to offer.

It’s not that people who shy away from PDA are prudish or cold-hearted. No, it’s far more complex than that.

In fact, those who struggle with public displays of affection usually share certain characteristics or traits.

So, if you’ve ever wondered “Why does PDA make some people uncomfortable?” – stick around. This article dives into the psychology behind these feelings, unveiling the 7 common traits of individuals who find PDA challenging.

1) They value personal space

Personal space is a big deal for some people.

It’s their comfort zone, their sanctuary.

And when PDA encroaches on this bubble, it can trigger feelings of discomfort or even anxiety. This isn’t about being standoffish or unaffectionate. Rather, it’s about maintaining a sense of personal boundaries.

It is common for individuals who shy away from public displays of affection to have a strong regard for personal space. They may feel that PDA infringes upon their own boundaries or those of others.

It’s not a lack of love or affection, but rather a different way of expressing those feelings – one that respects the invisible lines that demarcate their comfort zone.

2) They might be introverted

Being an introvert myself, I can vouch for this one.

You see, introverts often prefer low-key, quiet environments. Large groups or public settings can be overwhelming and draining for us.

Now, add a layer of public displays of affection to that mix, and it can feel like too much to handle.

But let me clarify something here. It’s not that introverts don’t like affection. Quite the contrary! We simply prefer to express and receive it in a more private setting.

I remember once when my partner tried to surprise me with a grand romantic gesture at a party – a public declaration of love followed by a passionate kiss. The room erupted into applause, but I felt my cheeks burn and my heart pound, not out of excitement but embarrassment.

I appreciated the sentiment behind the gesture, but the public nature of it made me feel exposed and uncomfortable.

3) They could have a different love language

Let’s be real here. Not everyone expresses love the same way.

Some of us might enjoy showering our partners with words of affirmation, while others might show their affection through acts of service or spending quality time together.

And then there are those who express their love through physical touch, which includes public displays of affection.

I’ve always found it fascinating how much our love languages can influence our comfort level with PDA.

For instance, if your love language is physical touch, you might see nothing wrong with a kiss or a hug in the middle of a crowded room.

But if your love language is, say, acts of service, you might find such public displays unnecessary or even uncomfortable.

The beauty of understanding love languages is that it allows us to appreciate our differences and adjust our expressions of affection accordingly.

4) They might have grown up in a less affectionate environment

Our upbringing plays a significant role in shaping our comfort levels with affection, including how we perceive and handle PDA.

If someone grew up in a household where open displays of affection weren’t common, it’s likely they might feel awkward or uncomfortable with PDA as adults.

This isn’t to say that they are incapable of love or affection. Far from it. They simply might not be used to expressing it openly, especially in public settings.

For example, a friend of mine grew up in a family where emotions were rarely expressed openly. As a result, she finds public displays of affection somewhat alien and tends to avoid them.

It’s important to remember that everyone has a different ‘normal’ when it comes to affection. Understanding this can help us be more empathetic towards those who may have different comfort levels with PDA.

5) They may be more sensitive to social norms

Social norms play a crucial part in how we behave, especially in public settings.

For some, these norms might dictate that public displays of affection are inappropriate or uncomfortable. These factors also significantly influence people’s comfort levels with public displays of affection.

So, if someone seems uneasy with PDA, it could be that they’re more attuned to these social norms.

They might feel that PDA goes against societal expectations or their cultural values.

6) They may have experienced past trauma

Sometimes, an aversion to public displays of affection can stem from past experiences of trauma.

Trauma, whether emotional or physical, can often leave a deep impact on how someone perceives and interacts with the world around them.

It could make them feel vulnerable and guarded, especially when it comes to expressing affection in public.

If someone has had a traumatic experience related to PDA – perhaps an embarrassing moment or a violation of their personal boundaries – it’s natural that they might be cautious about such situations in the future.

It’s crucial to approach these situations with understanding and patience.

Healing takes time, and everyone moves at their own pace.

7) They simply value privacy

At the end of the day, some people might just value their privacy more than others.

For them, moments of affection are intimate and personal, and they prefer to keep these moments private.

It’s not that they’re trying to hide their feelings or their relationships. Instead, they cherish these moments so much that they choose to keep them between themselves and their partners.

Being comfortable with public displays of affection is not a measure of how much someone loves or cares for their partner.

It’s simply a matter of personal preference and comfort. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Final reflections

If you’ve found yourself nodding along to these points, you may be among those who aren’t comfortable with public displays of affection.

Our comfort levels with PDA are shaped by a myriad of factors – our upbringing, personality traits, past experiences, and even our cultural backgrounds. There’s no right or wrong way to express affection.

What’s important is understanding and acknowledging your feelings. It’s about knowing that your comfort matters and should be respected.

So take some time to reflect on your own feelings about PDA. It’s a small step toward better understanding yourself and the people around you.