There’s an inherent pressure in society to always be seen as a “good person”. It’s an unspoken rule that we must always do right, even at the expense of our own authenticity.

But what if being a “good person” is not all it’s cracked up to be? What if this relentless pursuit of moral perfection is actually holding us back from living authentically and freely?

The truth is, the concept of being a “good person” is often tied to external validation, societal norms, and the fear of judgment. It can trap us in a cycle of people-pleasing and self-neglect, stifling our creativity, individuality, and personal growth.

Yet, there are those who have found the courage to challenge this norm and abandon the quest for universal goodness. They have discovered that giving up on being a “good person” can actually pave the way for a more fulfilling, authentic life.

These people usually possess certain distinctive character traits that set them apart. They live life on their own terms, guided by their own values and convictions rather than societal expectations.

Here are seven character traits commonly found in those who understand why it’s important to give up on being a “good person”.

1) Embracing authenticity

People who understand the importance of giving up on being a “good person” are often deeply authentic. They are not swayed by societal pressure to conform or please others. Instead, they remain true to their own values, beliefs, and desires.

This authenticity reflects a deep sense of self-awareness. They’ve done the inner work to understand who they are at their core, what they truly want from life, and what they will not compromise on. They’re unafraid to express their true selves, even if it goes against societal norms or expectations.

Such individuals also recognize that authenticity brings freedom. By choosing not to uphold an image of being a “good person” and instead prioritizing their authenticity, they free themselves from the constraints of external validation and societal approval.

Yet, this doesn’t mean they disregard ethical conduct or empathy for others. Instead, it means that their actions and decisions are guided by their own internal compass rather than the desire to appear good in the eyes of others.

It’s important to note that embracing authenticity takes courage. It requires challenging societal norms, facing potential criticism, and sometimes standing alone. But those who have taken this path often find it leads to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

2) They value self-awareness

Another character trait of those who understand the importance of letting go of being a “good person” is their high level of self-awareness. They are acutely aware of their strengths, weaknesses, emotions, and motivations. This level of self-understanding allows them to navigate life more authentically, ensuring that their decisions are aligned with their true selves rather than being influenced by societal expectations or the desire to please others.

In my own journey, I’ve found that cultivating self-awareness has been crucial in enabling me to live more authentically. It’s allowed me to understand myself better, make choices that align with my values, and ultimately, lead a life that feels true to who I am.

These individuals often engage in practices that enhance self-awareness such as meditation, journaling, or introspective conversations. They are not afraid to confront their fears, challenge their limiting beliefs, and delve deep into understanding their own psyche.

They understand the wisdom in the words of Carl Jung who once said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” They believe in taking control of their lives by understanding themselves better and making conscious decisions based on this understanding.

3) They are courageous and resilient

Those who comprehend the significance of giving up on being a “good person” are often characterized by their courage and resilience. They possess the bravery to challenge societal norms and the resilience to withstand potential criticism. This is not an easy path; it requires stepping into discomfort, questioning deeply ingrained beliefs, and sometimes standing against the crowd.

However, they understand that this courage and resilience is key to personal freedom. They know that living according to their own values and beliefs, rather than conforming to societal expectations, leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life.

In my own journey, I’ve found that having the courage to live authentically, even when it goes against societal norms or expectations, has been both challenging and liberating. It’s a continuous process of learning, growing, and adapting.

I delve deeper into this concept in one of my videos where I explore why it’s important to give up on the idea of constantly being a “good person.” This belief can lead to internal criticism, judgment of others, and makes us easily manipulated. Letting go of this ideal fosters a more authentic, fulfilling life.

If you found these insights valuable and want to join a community exploring how to live life with more purpose and freedom, you’re welcome to subscribe to my YouTube channel. It’s a space where we challenge conventional wisdom and discuss topics that matter in our quest for authenticity.

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4) They take responsibility for their lives

An essential characteristic of people who understand the importance of giving up on being a “good person” is their ability to take full responsibility for their lives. They recognize that they are the architects of their own destiny, and they refuse to play the role of a victim.

In life, we all face challenges and setbacks. It’s easy to blame external factors or other people for our problems. However, those who have risen above the need to be universally “good” understand that this is not a productive or empowering strategy.

Instead, they choose to focus on what they can control – their own attitudes, actions, and responses. They understand that true empowerment comes from owning their choices, taking responsibility for their actions, and learning from their mistakes.

It’s a raw and honest approach to life that requires courage and resilience. It means acknowledging our flaws, understanding our weaknesses, and working on our growth areas. It’s about making conscious choices that align with our values and taking responsibility for the consequences of these choices.

This mindset is not about external validation or appearing “good” in the eyes of others. It’s about personal freedom, authenticity, and living in alignment with our deepest values. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves… The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”

5) They embrace obstacles as opportunities

One of the most defining traits of individuals who have given up on being a “good person” is their ability to view obstacles and setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning. They understand that life is not always smooth sailing, and instead of getting discouraged by failure, they choose to see it as feedback and an invitation to adapt and evolve.

Such a perspective requires a raw and honest confrontation with reality. It’s about recognizing that failure is not a reflection of our worth but an opportunity to learn, grow, and innovate. It’s about having the courage to step out of our comfort zone, take risks, and learn from the outcomes.

This aligns with my belief in the transformative power of self-awareness and personal growth. By confronting our fears, challenging our limiting beliefs, and cultivating self-compassion, we become more capable of creating the lives we desire.

Embracing obstacles as opportunities changes the way we navigate life. It allows us to transform our challenges into stepping stones towards our goals and fosters a mindset of resilience and adaptability.

As Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” This embodies the spirit of those who have given up on being universally “good” – they are not afraid of failure, but instead see it as an integral part of their journey towards authenticity and personal freedom.

6) They prioritize their own well-being

While on the surface it may seem selfish, those who understand the importance of giving up on being a “good person” often prioritize their own well-being. They understand that they can’t pour from an empty cup, and that taking care of themselves is not just important, but necessary.

In our society, prioritizing your own well-being over pleasing others or meeting societal expectations can be seen as self-centered or egotistical. However, these individuals recognize the importance of self-care and self-love in living an authentic life.

They have come to understand that their own well-being is integral to their ability to contribute positively to the world. By taking care of their physical, emotional, and mental health, they are better equipped to engage in meaningful relationships, pursue their passions, and make a positive impact.

This is not about being selfish or disregarding the needs of others. Instead, it’s about understanding that we are at our best – most empathetic, creative, and effective – when we are healthy and fulfilled. As Audre Lorde wisely said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

7) They cultivate a sense of purpose

The final trait that stands out in those who understand the importance of giving up on being a “good person” is that they cultivate a deep sense of purpose. They are not driven by the need for approval or acceptance, but by a profound sense of purpose that guides their decisions and actions.

This sense of purpose goes beyond mere personal gain or success. It’s about contributing positively to the world, engaging in meaningful work, and living a life that aligns with their deepest values. It’s about being part of something greater than themselves.

Cultivating such a sense of purpose requires introspection, self-awareness, and often, a willingness to challenge societal norms and expectations. It’s about asking profound questions about who we are, what we value, and how we want to contribute to the world.

Ultimately, those who give up on being a “good person” in the traditional sense often find a deeper sense of fulfillment and contentment. They are guided by their own unique purpose and live in alignment with their authentic selves.

As Mark Twain once said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” Those who have given up on being universally “good” often invest time and energy in uncovering their ‘why’, leading to a life lived with authenticity and purpose.

Embracing Your Authentic Self

At the heart of it all, giving up on being a “good person” in the traditional sense is an invitation to embrace your authentic self. It’s about breaking free from societal expectations, challenging norms, and living life in alignment with your deepest values.

Those who understand this often exhibit traits such as authenticity, self-awareness, courage, resilience, responsibility, self-care, and a deep sense of purpose. They are not swayed by the need for approval or acceptance but are guided by their own internal compass.

Just like how our biochemistry can affect our preferences and behaviors, our belief systems shape how we navigate through life. As we’ve explored in this article, the decision to give up on being a “good person” can be liberating and lead to a more fulfilling life.

However, it’s essential to remember that this doesn’t mean disregarding empathy or ethical conduct. Instead, it’s about making conscious choices that align with your values and taking responsibility for the consequences of these choices.

As you navigate your own journey of authenticity and self-discovery, I invite you to join me on my YouTube channel where we explore these themes more deeply.

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As you reflect on the insights shared in this article, consider this: What steps can you take today to live more authentically and in alignment with your own values rather than societal expectations?