Growing up, I was the wallflower at parties, the quiet one in class.

It wasn’t that I disliked socializing or didn’t have thoughts to share, but rather that I found it difficult to influence others with my words.

So, when I found myself in a profession that required me to do just that — inspire change and influence people — I was stunned.

How was I, a self-proclaimed introvert, supposed to sway others?

But necessity is the mother of all inventions.

Over time and with no small amount of trial and error, I started noticing patterns — certain behaviors that seemed to make others more receptive to what I was saying.

They weren’t manipulative tricks or underhand tactics but rather simple habits that anyone could adopt.

Over the years, I’ve collected these behaviors and habits, like gems in a treasure chest.

And now?

Now it’s time to share them with you.

So if you’ve ever wondered what makes some people so naturally influential, buckle up because we’re about to dive right in.

1) They exude an aura of confidence

Confidence can be a magnetic force, drawing others towards you and making them more inclined to listen to your thoughts and ideas.

As the writer and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson observed, “Self-trust is the first secret of success.”

People who influence others with ease often radiate a level of self-assuredness that’s hard to ignore.

They stand tall, speak clearly, and maintain eye contact, demonstrating a belief in their own abilities and ideas.

This isn’t to say that they never have moments of self-doubt or insecurity.

However, they’ve learned to present themselves confidently, understanding that their demeanor can significantly impact how others perceive and respond to them.

2) They aren’t afraid to show vulnerability

Contrary to what you might think, influential people aren’t always invincible fortresses.

In fact, they often show a side of themselves that’s authentically human and vulnerable.

This might seem counterintuitive.

After all, isn’t influence about demonstrating strength and certainty?

While these are important, showing vulnerability can actually increase your influence over others.

By opening up about their struggles, failures, or insecurities, influential people make themselves relatable.

They break down the barriers that can often exist between individuals, fostering trust and understanding.

3) They understand the science of persuasion

Influence isn’t just an art; it’s also a science.

While not everyone may be aware, there is a psychological aspect to persuasion that plays a significant role in how we make decisions and form opinions.

Those who influence others with ease have an innate or learned understanding of this.

They know that humans are naturally inclined to reciprocate favors, to conform to social norms, and to believe in the credibility of experts.

They use these principles in their interactions, subtly influencing others without appearing manipulative or coercive.

Their understanding of the science of persuasion enables them to communicate more effectively and achieve their desired results.

4) They listen more than they speak

In our quest to influence others, we often forget a fundamental truth: people want to be heard.

Those who influence with ease understand this truth deeply.

They don’t just wait for their turn to talk; they genuinely listen, showing interest and empathy in what others have to say.

This quality makes them exceptional communicators, as they harness the power of active listening to understand others’ perspectives thoroughly before presenting their own.

This helps them craft their message more effectively and makes others feel valued and respected.

5) They use the power of positivity

It’s no secret: Positivity is infectious.

A simple smile, a word of encouragement, or an optimistic outlook can brighten people’s mood and make them more receptive to your influence.

Influential people harness this power of positivity to inspire others.

They maintain a positive demeanor, even in challenging situations, spreading an aura of optimism that motivates others to think and act positively too.

This doesn’t mean they’re unrealistically positive all the time.

Instead, they choose to focus on solutions rather than problems, opportunities rather than obstacles.

Did you know that smiling – a simple act of positivity – can actually trick your brain into feeling happier?

If you’re someone who naturally leans towards positivity or strives to cultivate it, this is one more behavior that can enhance your ability to influence others with ease.

6) They aren’t afraid to go against the grain

In a world where conformity is celebrated, those who dare to stand out make a memorable impact.

The words of Oscar Wilde resonate here: “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

Influential individuals grasp this truth.

They boldly challenge norms, express their unique viewpoints, and follow unconventional paths.

They show that embracing difference and thinking outside the box is not just acceptable, but commendable.

This approach isn’t merely a reaction to trends.

It’s a commitment to remaining steadfast in one’s beliefs and values, despite potential criticism or rejection.

It’s a display of courage in the face of adversity.

7) They use the power of storytelling

Influence goes beyond mere facts and figures.

You might believe that presenting clear, concise information is the best way to get your point across.

After all, who can argue with hard data?

But those who influence others with ease understand that while facts and figures have their place, it’s stories that truly capture people’s hearts and minds.

They weave narratives that draw people in, making abstract concepts tangible and relatable.

They use stories to highlight their points, to illustrate their ideas, to make their messages more memorable.

This ability to craft compelling narratives isn’t just about entertainment. It’s a powerful tool that can change perspectives and inspire action.

8) They don’t seek to be liked by everyone

It’s a common misconception that to be influential, you must be universally liked.

The idea that you need to please everyone, avoid conflict, and never step on anyone’s toes is widespread.

However, those who genuinely influence others recognize the fallacy in this belief.

They realize that trying to be all things to all people is not only exhausting but also inauthentic.

They focus on staying true to themselves and their values.

They accept that not everyone will agree with them or like them, and they’re comfortable with that.

This stance doesn’t imply they are dismissive or disrespectful.

Rather, they refuse to compromise their authenticity for the sake of popularity.

Understanding the nuances of influence

Influence is far more than a checklist of behaviors or traits; it’s a dynamic interplay of understanding, connection, and inspiration.

It’s about truly grasping the essence of others, forming deep connections, and sparking shifts in their thoughts, feelings, or actions.

True influence isn’t wielded through force but demonstrated through example.

It’s earned through genuine respect and trust, not through demands.

It thrives on authenticity and empathy rather than manipulation or coercion.

Remember, influence isn’t a one-size-fits-all.

Each person has a unique style shaped by their own experiences and values.

What resonates with one may not with another.

Furthermore, influence isn’t static; it evolves with us.

As we gain new skills and experiences, our ability to influence becomes more nuanced and impactful.