People who break free from controlling relationships often display these 9 unique strengths

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | September 6, 2024, 1:00 pm

Breaking free from a controlling relationship is no easy task—it’s a process that takes immense strength, courage, and determination.

Those who manage to escape such relationships often display unique strengths that go overlooked.

They’re resilient, empathetic, and incredibly self-aware.

In this article, we’ll delve into the unique strengths exhibited by those who have successfully broken free from controlling relationships.

Let’s begin.

1) Exceptional resilience

Breaking free from a controlling relationship isn’t easy. It’s a battlefield, physically, emotionally, and sometimes even financially.

Resilience is about bouncing back from difficulties. And trust me, escaping a controlling relationship definitely qualifies as a difficulty.

Those who manage to come out on the other side of such relationships often display an exceptional level of resilience.

This quality of resilience allows these individuals to rebound from adversity stronger than before.

They’ve faced an incredibly challenging situation head-on and have emerged victorious.

Their experience has toughened them up, making them more prepared to handle whatever life may throw at them next.

2) Heightened empathy

Another unique strength I’ve noticed among those who’ve escaped controlling relationships is heightened empathy.

I can still clearly remember my friend, who managed to break free from a toxic, controlling relationship.

As she went through the recovery process, one thing that struck me was her incredible empathy.

She had always been a kind soul, but after her experience, her empathy seemed to have deepened.

She became more sensitive to the feelings and emotions of those around her.

Perhaps because she had experienced firsthand what it was like to be belittled and controlled.

This heightened empathy enabled her to connect with others on a deeper level.

She became a source of comfort and understanding for people going through similar situations.

3) Increased self-awareness

When people escape controlling relationships, they often develop a heightened sense of self-awareness.

This means they’re more in tune with their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.

Interestingly, this study found that individuals who have experienced adversity (like a controlling relationship) are more likely to experience self-realization and make meaning in their lives.

This increased self-awareness promotes personal growth and facilitates better decision-making.

They become more conscious of their needs, wants, and boundaries.

They’re more likely to stand up for themselves and less likely to fall into similar controlling relationships in the future.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you need to go through something as bad as a controlling relationship to find meaning in your life.

This simply means that for those who were in one, going through it has given them the gift of self-awareness.

4) Strong self-reliance

Emerging from a controlling relationship often cultivates a strong sense of self-reliance.

In such relationships, the controlling party often undermines the other person’s ability to make decisions for themselves.

After breaking free, individuals often find that they have to rely on themselves more than ever before.

They have to make their own decisions, manage their own lives, and nurture their own well-being.

This process strengthens their self-reliance.

They learn that they can trust themselves and that they can handle life on their own terms.

5) Effective communication skills

Communication is often stifled in controlling relationships, with one party dominating the conversation or shutting down the other person’s attempts to express themselves.

Once free from such a relationship, they often find their voice and learn to communicate more effectively.

They learn to express their feelings, needs, and boundaries clearly and assertively, without fear of reprisal.

This newfound ability to communicate effectively is a strength that not only helps them in personal relationships but can also be beneficial in their professional lives.

6) Profound appreciation for freedom

There’s a unique strength that often gets overlooked, but it’s one of the most beautiful transformations I’ve witnessed in those who break free from controlling relationships—a profound appreciation for freedom.

After living under constant control, the ability to make your own choices, to live life on your terms, becomes incredibly precious.

It’s like breathing fresh air after being underwater for a long time.

This newfound freedom brings with it a sense of joy and relief—a sense of reclaiming one’s life.

It’s a strength because it fuels the determination to never be controlled again.

7) Courage to embrace change

Change can be scary, especially when it involves stepping out of a familiar, albeit unhealthy, situation.

I know because I’ve been there, facing the unknown, choosing to embrace the change rather than stay stuck in a harmful cycle.

For those exiting controlling relationships, change is a constant companion.

They have to rebuild their lives, often from scratch.

But here lies another unique strength: the courage to embrace this change. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary.

And it’s this courage that propels them forward into a brighter, healthier future.

8) Firm boundary setting

One of the hallmarks of controlling relationships is the erosion of personal boundaries.

The controlling person often disregards or oversteps the other person’s boundaries without remorse.

Once they are free, they realize the importance of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries.

They become empowered by asserting their personal space and demands, understanding that it’s not just okay but necessary for their well-being.

9) The ability to heal and grow

Perhaps the most crucial strength individuals gain after escaping a controlling relationship is the ability to heal and grow.

Despite the pain and trauma, they find within themselves the capacity to heal their emotional wounds.

They understand that their past does not define them.

They’re not victims, but survivors who can learn from and grow from their experiences.

This capacity to heal and grow is a testament to their strength and resilience, marking the start of a new chapter in their lives.

Final reflection: The power of resilience

The journey of breaking free from a controlling relationship and the subsequent personal growth that follows is a testament to human resilience.

A quote from Nelson Mandela encapsulates this perfectly, “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Those who have escaped from controlling relationships have not just “risen” but have ascended with unique strengths that are often overlooked. 

Remember, these strengths are not merely the result of their struggle but the embodiment of their resilience.

Let them serve as a reminder that no matter how difficult the circumstances may be, we humans have an amazing capacity to adapt, grow, and ultimately, prevail.