The struggle to take responsibility for one’s own actions is one of the most common human tendencies that exist.

In a world where it’s easier to point fingers than to look in the mirror, if you’re one of these people, you may find it difficult to acknowledge your own shortcomings.

More often than not, people perceive you as a victim when in reality, you’re just shifting blame.

In fact, you’ve probably been called a complainer more times than you’d like to count.

Does this sound familiar?

If it does, stick around as we dive into the 10 traits often displayed by people who blame everyone else for their problems but themselves.

1) They are masters of deflection

A significant trait in people who habitually blame others for their problems is their uncanny ability to deflect responsibility.

Instead of owning up to their mistakes, they find it easier to redirect the blame towards someone else, be it a colleague, friend, or even a random stranger.

This is a defense mechanism to shield themselves from the harsh reality of their own shortcomings or failures.

Unfortunately, this can often be mistaken for victimhood because they constantly paint themselves as the ‘wronged party’.

People perceive them as victims because of this constant deflection, but this is usually far from the truth.

Their skill at playing the victim allows them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. And this makes it easy for them to shift blame whenever things don’t go as planned.

2) They struggle with self-awareness

They often have a distorted view of their own actions. And they struggle to see how their behaviors might contribute to their current circumstances.

In fact, I once had a friend who was always late to our meetups. Instead of acknowledging his poor time management, he would blame his tardiness on traffic, his work, or even on us for not choosing a closer venue.

His lack of self-awareness prevented him from realizing that he was the common denominator in all his lateness issues.

This lack of self-awareness can often be mistaken for innocence or naivety, as they seem oblivious to their own faults.

People can perceive them as simply unaware of their wrongdoings due to this lack of insight into their own behavior.

However, this is usually not the case. Their inability or unwillingness to be self-aware allows them to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions.

3) They have a strong sense of entitlement

They believe that they are deserving of certain privileges or special treatment, and when they don’t receive what they believe they are entitled to, they place the blame on others.

This sense of entitlement can often be mistaken for confidence or assertiveness, as these individuals don’t shy away from demanding what they believe they deserve.

It shields them from taking responsibility for their actions, making it easier for them to find fault whenever things don’t align with their expectations.

4) They exhibit poor problem-solving skills

Instead of trying to figure out a solution when they encounter a problem, they immediately look for someone or something else to pin the problem on.

This makes it easy for them to avoid dealing with the problem at hand and instead, focus on who they can pass the blame onto.

This lack of problem-solving skills can often be misunderstood for helplessness or incompetence.

But really, it’s not a lack of ability. It’s a choice to avoid dealing with the issue and holding themselves accountable. 

This lack of accountability allows them to easily shift blame and avoid dealing with their problems head-on.

5) They harbor a fear of failure

They’re terrified of being seen as a failure or being associated with failure in any way.

This fear is so potent that they’d rather shift the blame onto others than to admit that they’ve fallen short or made a mistake.

This can often be masked as arrogance or stubbornness, as they refuse to admit their mistakes and insist on their innocence.

People may perceive them as proud or obstinate due to this refusal to acknowledge their failures.

However, it’s usually not a case of pride but rather a profound fear. Their fear of failure creates a defensive barrier that enables them to shift blame and avoid facing their own shortcomings.

6) They may be dealing with insecurity

They might feel inadequate or believe that they’re not good enough, and blaming others is a way to shield themselves from these painful feelings.

It’s not always about shirking responsibility, sometimes it’s about self-preservation. They may be so afraid of confronting their own inadequacies that they find it easier to project the blame onto others.

Their propensity to blame others is more of a reflection of their struggle with self-esteem than an inability to take responsibility. It’s a coping mechanism that shields them from their own insecurities.

7) They struggle with change

Change is a part of life, but for them, it’s a terrifying prospect. They’d rather stick to what they know and are comfortable with than venture into the unknown.

When things change and don’t go as planned, their first reaction is to find someone else to blame. It’s easier to blame others than to accept that change is inevitable and sometimes, things simply don’t go according to plan.

This difficulty with change can often be mistaken for stubbornness or rigidity, as they resist adapting to new situations.

People may perceive them as inflexible or set in their ways due to this resistance to change.

But in reality, it’s not about being stubborn or inflexible. It’s about fear – the fear of the unknown, the fear of losing control. 

Their tendency to blame others is just a way of coping with this fear and maintaining a semblance of control in an ever-changing world.

8) They have a knack for storytelling

They can weave intricate tales where they are the hero or the victim, and someone else is always the villain. It’s almost like they have a never-ending supply of dramatic narratives up their sleeve!

This storytelling ability can often be mistaken for creativity or imagination, as they can create elaborate scenarios where they are never at fault.

Their talent for storytelling allows them to paint themselves in a more favorable light. 

It’s their way of dealing with difficult situations with a little bit of humor and a whole lot of imagination!

9) They lack emotional maturity

They struggle to manage their emotions effectively, especially when things go wrong. Instead of handling their feelings maturely and taking responsibility for their actions, they resort to blaming others.

This lack of emotional maturity can often be mistaken for passion or intensity, as their emotions can seem to run high.

People may perceive them as passionate individuals due to their intense reactions.

Their tendency to blame others is a sign of emotional immaturity—a refusal to manage their feelings in a mature and responsible way. 

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but growth comes from acknowledging our shortcomings and working on them.

10) They often lack empathy

The most significant trait in people who habitually blame others for their problems is a lack of empathy.

They struggle to put themselves in other people’s shoes and understand their feelings or perspectives. 

This lack of empathy can often be mistaken for self-assuredness or confidence. They may seem unwavering in their stance.

People may perceive them as confident individuals due to their firm belief in their innocence.

But, it’s usually not about confidence but a deficit in understanding and relating to others’ emotions. 

Final thoughts

It’s easy to judge people who constantly blame others for their problems. They can be labeled as complainers, victims, or even troublemakers.

But it’s essential to remember that everyone has a backstory—especially those who often find it hard to accept responsibility.

So if you know someone who habitually blames others, don’t rush to judge. They may be dealing with internal struggles that you’re not aware of.

Only those who are willing to look beyond the blame and see the person behind it can truly understand.

And perhaps help them on their journey towards self-awareness and growth.