We all know those people who seem to become more rigid and unyielding with age. As we grow older, some of us tend to stick more tightly to our beliefs and habits, often closing off to new ideas.

Hi there, I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a follower of mindfulness and Buddhism. I’ve seen my fair share of this stubbornness in people over the years, and I’ve come to recognize certain behaviors that often accompany this shift.

In this article, I’ll be highlighting 8 behaviors that people often exhibit as they become more set in their ways.

This isn’t about pointing fingers or labeling anyone. It’s about understanding why we sometimes resist change as we age, and how we can be more open and flexible.

Let’s get started.

1) Resistance to change

We all have our comfort zones and routines, right? However, as we age, it can become more than just comfort – it can turn into a deep-seated resistance to change.

I’ve observed that people who become more set in their ways with age often exhibit a strong aversion to anything that disrupts their established routines. This could be something as simple as a change in their daily schedule or as significant as adopting new technology.

Now, from a mindfulness perspective, embracing change is an essential aspect of personal growth and inner peace. It encourages us to be fully present and open to the opportunities that each moment brings, rather than clinging to the past or projecting into the future.

But for those stuck in their ways, this concept can be challenging to accept. They might see change as a threat to their stability and predictability, creating an environment of fear and anxiety.

Understanding this behavior is the first step towards helping them (or ourselves) become more adaptable and open-minded. 

2) Difficulty accepting new ideas

Another common trait I’ve noticed in people who become more stubborn with age is a difficulty in accepting new ideas. This is not about intelligence or capability, but rather an unwillingness to consider perspectives different from their own.

I’ve had countless conversations where I’ve introduced an idea, only to be met with immediate dismissal because it doesn’t align with their pre-established beliefs.

It can be a frustrating experience, but it’s essential to approach these situations with understanding and empathy.

The key is to encourage open-mindedness gently. To remind them (and ourselves) that it’s okay to question our beliefs, and that doing so doesn’t diminish our identity or worth.

After all, growth and wisdom come from constant learning and exploration.

3) Struggle with letting go

One of the most evident behaviors in those who become more stubborn with age is the struggle of letting go. It could be letting go of material possessions, past experiences, grudges, or even outdated views.

From a Buddhist perspective, attachment is the root of all suffering. The Buddha taught that clinging to anything in this impermanent world only leads to pain and dissatisfaction.

However, for those set in their ways, this concept seems challenging to internalize.

They hold on tightly to things, events, or thoughts, mistakenly believing that this will provide security and happiness. But in reality, it only leads to discomfort and an inability to enjoy the present moment.

It’s a hard truth to swallow – that our attachments can cause us more harm than good. But recognizing this is a significant step towards a more peaceful and content life. 

4) Dominating conversations

Another behavior I’ve noticed in people who become stubborn with age is their tendency to dominate conversations. They often feel the need to have the last word or dismiss others’ opinions without consideration, which can be quite challenging to navigate.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I emphasize the importance of active listening in Buddhist practice.

The ability to truly listen to another person without judgement or interruption fosters understanding and compassion.

If we can encourage this practice, we might just help those set in their ways become more open and tolerant in their interactions with others.

If you want to check out my book, you can find it on Amazon here. 

5) Over-reliance on the past

Individuals who become more stubborn with age often display a heavy reliance on the past. It’s as if they’re living life looking in the rear-view mirror, constantly referencing past events, decisions, or ‘the way things used to be’.

From a mindfulness perspective, this behavior contradicts the principle of living in the present moment.

Mindfulness encourages us to be fully engaged with our current experiences, not dwelling on the past or anticipating the future.

However, for those stuck in their ways, the past can act as a comfort blanket. It’s familiar, predictable and in some ways, controllable. But this over-reliance can prevent them from fully experiencing and appreciating the present moment.

It’s a raw and honest truth that we all need to learn: The past cannot be changed, and clinging to it can rob us of our current happiness. 

6) Rigidity in beliefs

A clear sign of individuals becoming more inflexible as they age is the rigidity in their beliefs. They have a fixed mindset and are reluctant to question or modify their views, even in the face of new information or perspectives.

In both Buddhism and mindfulness, having an open mind is vital. 

The raw truth is that our world is constantly changing, and so should we. Holding onto outdated beliefs only limits our understanding of the world and hinders our personal growth.

It might be uncomfortable to question our long-held beliefs, but it’s a journey worth undertaking.

7) Lack of empathy

A troubling behavior that can emerge as people grow more stubborn and set in their ways is a lack of empathy. They might become more self-focused, struggling to understand or relate to the feelings and experiences of others.

This lack of empathy can create a disconnect between them and the people around them, leading to misunderstandings, conflicts, and loneliness.

The raw truth is that without empathy, we risk becoming isolated and disconnected from those around us.

Cultivating empathy requires patience and practice, but it’s a journey that can lead to deeper connections and a greater sense of compassion and understanding.

8) Over-planning and control

This one might seem counterintuitive, as we often associate age with wisdom and letting go.

However, some people become more stubborn and controlling with age, trying to plan every detail of their lives and the lives of those around them.

Mindfulness, on the other hand, teaches us to let go of control and live in the present moment. It encourages us to embrace the unpredictability of life, and experience each moment as it unfolds without trying to control or change it.

Ironically, this attempt at over-planning and control often leads to stress and anxiety. It’s a stark reminder that we cannot control everything, no matter how hard we try.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these behaviors in ourselves or others is the first step towards understanding and change. It’s not about blame or judgment, but about fostering growth, openness, and adaptability.

We need to remember that becoming set in our ways is not inevitable with age. We can choose to remain open-minded, empathetic, and adaptable, embracing change rather than resisting it.

For a deeper dive into practices that can help us maintain an open mind and live with more impact and less ego, you might want to check out my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”. It’s a practical guide that draws on Buddhist wisdom to help us navigate our modern lives.

In the end, remember that it’s never too late to change, to learn, and to grow.