Aging — it’s a phase of life we all have to go through, but not everyone grows wiser with age. In fact, some people seem to grow more selfish and narcissistic as they mature.

I’m sure we’ve all encountered someone like this — an individual who seems to care less about others and more about themselves as they grow older.

It can be tough to understand why they change this way, but psychology may offer us some insights into this behavior.

You see, people who become more selfish and narcissistic with age usually adopt certain habits that set them apart.

In this article, I’m going to delve into these habits and reveal 9 of them that are commonly observed.

But don’t worry, my goal isn’t to point fingers or judge. Instead, I hope to help us understand these behaviors better so we can navigate our relationships more effectively.

1) They’re increasingly self-focused

In the journey of life, we all evolve. However, those who become more selfish and narcissistic with age seem to take a particular path.

A common habit observed in such individuals is an increasing self-focus. This isn’t about healthy self-love or self-care, mind you.

I’m talking about a shift in focus from others to oneself that crosses the line of balance. It’s when their world starts revolving only around their needs, wants, and priorities.

You’ll notice that they talk more about themselves, their achievements, their problems. It’s as if they’re the main character in every story, and everyone else is just a side character.

But it doesn’t stop at conversation. Their actions also reflect this self-focus. They might make decisions that only benefit them, even at the expense of others.

It’s important to note that this isn’t necessarily a conscious choice they make. Often, they may not even realize how self-focused they’ve become.

2) They display a grandiose sense of entitlement

Now, here’s a term you might have heard before: Entitlement.

In psychology, entitlement is often linked to narcissism. It refers to the belief that one deserves more or better than others, without necessarily earning it.

But what does this look like in real life?

Well, individuals who grow more selfish and narcissistic with age may start to display a grandiose sense of entitlement.

They might expect preferential treatment in different situations. It could be expecting the best seat at a family dinner, the first turn to speak in a meeting, or even for people to adjust their schedules around theirs.

And here’s the kicker: they don’t just expect these things, they believe they’re entitled to them.

What’s more, they may react negatively when these expectations are not met. This could manifest as frustration, anger, or even playing the victim.

Understanding this pattern can be helpful in managing our expectations and interactions with such individuals.

3) They exhibit a lack of empathy

While the grandiose sense of entitlement is rather visible, there’s another habit that’s a little more insidious, yet closely linked — a lack of empathy.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a fundamental aspect of healthy social interactions. It’s what allows us to connect with others on a deeper level.

However, as some people become more selfish and narcissistic with age, they start to lose this essential trait.

But here’s where it gets counter-intuitive: this lack of empathy isn’t always obvious.

These individuals may still display social charm and engage in conversations. However, if you observe closely, you’ll notice a certain depth missing in their interactions.

They may struggle to recognize or understand the emotions of others. In conversations, they might dismiss or overlook other people’s feelings, focusing instead on their own viewpoint.

The key here is subtlety. Recognizing this lack of empathy requires keen observation and understanding. But once you spot it, it becomes a powerful tool in understanding their behavior.

4) They’re excessively competitive

Have you ever noticed how some people seem to turn everything into a competition?

As some individuals grow more selfish and narcissistic with time, they develop an excessive competitiveness. This isn’t about the healthy drive to do better. It’s about needing to outshine everyone else.

It’s as if every situation, every conversation, every interaction is a race they’re determined to win. Whether it’s about who has the more successful career, the better lifestyle, or even the most interesting anecdote, they’re always trying to be number one.

This competitiveness often stems from their desire to affirm their self-worth and superiority. By being the ‘best’, they feel validated and important.

However, this constant need to compete can strain relationships and create a negative environment.

5) Their relationships often feel transactional

As people grow more selfish and narcissistic, their relationships often start to feel more transactional.

In such relationships, interactions are often based on a ‘give and take’ dynamic. The focus is less on genuine connection and more on what each person can gain from the other.

Here are a few signs of a transactional relationship:

• Interactions often revolve around requests or favors.
• There’s a constant need for reciprocation — every act of kindness comes with an expectation of return.
• Emotional connection and understanding take a backseat to personal gain.

Recognizing these signs can shed light on their approach towards relationships.

6) They’re resistant to criticism

We’ve all faced criticism at some point in our lives, haven’t we?

It might sting at first, but often, it’s an opportunity for growth.

However, as some individuals become more selfish and narcissistic with age, they develop a strong resistance to criticism. In their eyes, they can do no wrong.

I’ve noticed that they often respond to criticism with defensiveness or denial. Instead of considering the validity of the critique, they’re more likely to dismiss it outright or shift the blame onto others.

Let’s be honest: nobody enjoys being criticized. But the ability to take criticism constructively is a sign of emotional maturity.

So when we notice someone consistently resisting criticism, it’s worth considering as a potential sign of growing narcissism and selfishness.

7) They frequently play the victim

Imagine this: a colleague at work gets promoted over you. Instead of acknowledging that they might have worked hard or deserved it, you start blaming the system, your boss, or even your colleague for ‘stealing’ your promotion.

This is a classic example of playing the victim.

As some individuals grow more selfish and narcissistic with age, they have a tendency to play the victim in difficult situations. Instead of accepting responsibility for their actions or circumstances, they blame others or external factors.

They paint themselves as the innocent party suffering at the hands of an unjust world. But is it always someone else’s fault? Are they always the innocent one?

This victim mentality can be difficult to navigate, but recognizing it can provide valuable insights into their behavior.

8) They have a distorted sense of reality

This one reminds me of an old friend of mine.

We would often have conversations where I noticed that her recollection of events was vastly different from mine. It wasn’t about trivial details, but significant aspects of our shared experiences.

Over time, I realized it wasn’t a simple case of forgetfulness. It was a distorted sense of reality.

As some people become more selfish and narcissistic with age, they start to perceive the world in a way that aligns with their narrative. Their recollection of events often highlights their role, diminishes their faults, and inflates their achievements.

This distortion isn’t necessarily intentional, but it serves to maintain their inflated self-image and justify their actions.

9) They exhibit a constant need for admiration

Finally, and perhaps most significantly, individuals who grow more selfish and narcissistic with age exhibit a constant need for admiration.

They crave validation and recognition from others. It’s as if they’re on a never-ending quest for applause, compliments, and affirmation.

This need for admiration often drives their actions and decisions. They may go to great lengths to impress others or maintain an image of superiority.

However, it’s more than just wanting to be liked or appreciated. It’s a deep-seated need to be seen as the best, the most successful, the most important.

What can we do when faced with such behavior?

Understanding these habits can be enlightening, but it also brings us to a crucial question — how do we deal with people who display these traits?

Here are a few strategies that can help:

• Maintain boundaries: Establishing clear personal boundaries can protect you from potential harm and keep the relationship healthy.
• Practice empathy: While they might struggle with empathy, you don’t have to. Understanding their perspective can help mitigate conflicts.
• Seek professional help: If you find their behavior affecting your mental health, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.

Remember, it’s not about changing them or holding them to your standards. It’s about understanding their behavior and making informed decisions on how to interact with them.