We all know that as people age, some become more crotchety, others more kind-hearted. But did you know there’s a specific group that becomes more self-centered?

It’s not necessarily a bad thing; after all, with age comes the need for self-preservation. But spotting these behaviors can help us better understand and communicate with people who are older than us.

In this article, we’ll dive into the 8 specific behaviors that people who become more self-centered as they get older usually exhibit.

1) Increasing need for control

As people grow older, there’s often a growing desire for control. It’s a natural response to the uncertainty that comes with aging – health concerns, financial worries, or the loss of loved ones.

This increased need for control can manifest as a self-centered behavior. They might become more insistent on how things should be done or less willing to compromise. It can seem like they’re being overly stubborn or uncompromising.

This behavior is about more than just wanting things their way. It’s about creating a sense of security and stability in an increasingly unpredictable world.

Understanding this can help us empathize with our older folks. By recognizing their need for control, we can better navigate interactions with them and find a balance that respects their needs without sacrificing our own.

2) Less patience for others

Growing up, I always saw my aunt as the epitome of patience. She’d listen to my countless childhood stories without a hint of annoyance. But as she got older, I noticed a shift.

I remember one afternoon I was telling her about my day at work. Midway through my story, she interrupted me, insisting that I was talking too much and not getting to the point fast enough. I was taken aback. This was not the patient aunt I knew.

This change in behavior is not uncommon among older adults. As they get older, their patience for others can decrease. They might become more focused on their own needs and less tolerant of what they perceive as irrelevant or time-consuming.

But it’s essential to remember that this change isn’t personal. It’s a reflection of their shifting priorities and the value they place on their time. 

3) Declining social interaction

Did you know that as people age, their social circles often shrink? This isn’t necessarily due to a lack of effort, but rather a conscious choice. They tend to prioritize deep, meaningful relationships over casual social interactions.

This might be perceived as self-centered behavior as they become seemingly selective in their social engagements. But it’s more about focusing on quality over quantity in their relationships.

This behavior, interestingly, aligns with the Socioemotional Selectivity Theory, which suggests that as people perceive their time as limited, they focus more on emotionally fulfilling relationships.

It’s a reminder that as people age, their social needs change.

4) Increased demand for attention

Another behavior that may become apparent as people age is an increased demand for attention. This isn’t about vanity or a desire to be the center of attention, but more often a need for reassurance and connection.

They might share more about their experiences, concerns, or achievements, hoping for affirmation or empathy. They could also become more sensitive to perceived slights or lack of attention.

While it’s easy to label this behavior as self-centered, it’s essential to understand the underlying need for connection and reassurance. Recognizing this can help us provide the emotional support that our loved ones need.

5) Greater reliance on routines

As life moves forward, we often find comfort in the predictability of routines. This can become especially true as people age. They might stick to a strict daily schedule, eating at specific hours, or following a set pattern of activities.

This adherence to routines might seem self-centered, particularly when it becomes inflexible or disrupts plans.

But at its heart, it’s a coping mechanism. It provides a sense of control in a time of life that’s often marked by change and uncertainty.

6) Stricter boundaries

I remember when I asked my mother to join us on a family vacation. It was a surprise request, and I was excited about the idea of her spending time with her grandchildren. But to my surprise, she flatly refused.

As people age, they often set stricter boundaries. They become more selective about their commitments and careful about how they spend their energy.

This might be perceived as self-centeredness, but it’s really about self-preservation and maintaining balance in their lives.

It’s crucial to respect these boundaries, even if it means adjusting our expectations. It allows them to preserve their energy for what truly matters to them.

7) More outspoken about personal opinions

As people age, they often become more outspoken about their personal opinions. They’ve accumulated a lifetime of experiences, and they’re not afraid to share their insights or perspectives.

This might come off as self-centered, especially if their views seem unyielding or if they dominate conversations.

However, it’s important to remember that this behavior is often about expressing their identity and asserting their place in the world.

8) Prioritizing self-care

The most important thing to understand about people who become more self-centered as they get older is that it often comes down to prioritizing self-care. They might spend more time on their health, rest, and relaxation, which can seem like they’re neglecting others.

But it’s not about being selfish; it’s about ensuring they’re at their best, both physically and emotionally.

As we age, taking care of our well-being becomes increasingly crucial, and it’s something we should encourage and support in our loved ones.