Real talk: It takes character to be likable. 

Debt, disease, inflation, harsh capitalism, war… Life can be hard. 

The more you’ve lived through, the more susceptible you are to becoming bitter and unconsciously angry at the world. 

It’s an easy trap to fall into. 

Next thing you know, you’re berating the well-meaning manager of The Olive Garden–only to later wonder what went wrong in your life. 

Staying agreeable amidst our struggles can be a legitimate challenge for many of us, as we get older. 

But from my experience, for every hardened person out there, there are two more who are pleasant.  

In this article, I’ll go through the behaviors of people who become likable as they get older. 

Once you get an idea of things, you can start making the necessary changes. Let’s get to it! 

1) They’re empathetic 

There’s a reason why “Karen” has become one of the more despised stereotypes of our times: they frequently exhibit a lack of empathy for others. 

So if you want to be more likable, a great place to start is by cultivating your sense of empathy and compassion. 

Screaming at your server, effectively turning them into a scapegoat for your frustrations, for something entirely out of their control isn’t cool. 

In fact, it’s a pretty fast route to disenchant the people in your vicinity. 

Empathy means showing a powerful ability to understand and share the feelings of others, making them feel seen and heard in the process. 

Once people feel connected to you on a heightened level via empathy, naturally you’ll be regarded as a more appealing individual.

2) They’re exceptional listeners 

Some people who get older become more self-centered. 

They’re tired of faking niceties and caring about others, and regress into becoming veritable assholes. 

Don’t be like this. 

Some of the most charming people (of all ages) I’ve come across in life have the talent for making others feel special. 

How, you ask? By showing real interest in them and their lives. 

They won’t brush you off as unimportant and trivial, they’ll respect you by actively listening to you.

That’s right: likable people tend to make excellent listeners, giving the other person their full attention when they speak. 

They ask thoughtful, interested questions, which makes other people feel valued and respected. 

Good listeners don’t get distracted by their phones, offering up monosyllabic responses at best. 

They consistently give you their full attention, which is an act of kindness in itself–also a ripe breeding ground for feelings of likability to surface. 

3) They exude positivity 

This one is a no-brainer. 

Being negative by default simply isn’t cool. 

In my youth, I was regularly pessimistic, thinking that being that way would somehow make me appear cool or edgy. 

But after being dumped by a girl I genuinely liked for being “too cynical,” I knew I had to change things up. 

I learned that negativity wasn’t particularly attractive. 

If you want to be likable, start being more optimistic about life–and start being proactive regarding solutions rather than dwelling and complaining about your problems. 

Remember, the energy you give off is powerful and infectious. 

You can either uplift those around you or bring them down. The choice is yours. 

4) They’re humble 

I have several older relatives who think they know it all; one of them has claimed to literally “know all the secrets of the universe.” 

Collectively, their favorite hobby is criticizing other people, people they deem below them (which is everyone, more or less), intellectually or otherwise. 

It’s hardly a surprise that they can be pretty insufferable to be around. 

Truly affable people tend to have an innate humility about them. 

They can readily acknowledge their faults and limitations, remain open to feedback, and don’t always have to “one-up” others to be right. 

The latter behaviors can make one instantly approachable and relatable, particularly as you get older. 

5) They tend to be generous  

There are few more effective routes to build resentment in others than by being selfish. 

When you get into the habit of hoarding things (be it time, money, resources, or kindness), this will inevitably put people off. 

Agreeable people tend to get on people’s good side in large part due to their inherent generosity. 

Why? 

Because it indicates that they aren’t all about themselves; and that they can put others first without an underlying motive. 

This practice alone, when executed for the right reasons, will naturally attract people in droves. 

6) They have wisdom 

Shallow, superficial people may be appealing in short spurts–but to win the marathon of relationships, having some wisdom will take you far. 

We tend to look up to older people because they’ve lived longer and therefore have greater wisdom and perspective. 

Nobody wants to have to endure dealing with an empty, one-dimensional dolt for extended periods. 

With age and time comes experience, and therefore the ability to share wisdom and insights in a way that is constructive and authentic, not condescending. 

If this sounds familiar, people appreciate your company in large part because they’re able to gain something when you’re around–namely extra guidance in tackling life’s many challenges. 

7) They’re funny and make people laugh 

As many funny folks have learned, one of the fastest ways to win people over is through simple, good-natured humor. 

This is because humor can indicate many things about a person’s intelligence level, observational abilities, playfulness, and so on. All attractive qualities. 

A well-developed sense of humor and being able to laugh at oneself is refreshingly rare in a world that gets more somber by the day. 

The truth is, life, however bleak at times, is filled with absurdities. 

For someone to take a step back and find the humor in the mundane takes a special kind of character–one that is ultimately highly enjoyable to be around. 

8) They’re flexible and open-minded

Being nostalgic is one thing–but perpetually living in the past just isn’t fun. 

If there’s one thing that’s certain in this life, it’s that the world is a continually evolving place–and if you want to keep up, you have to be open to change. 

There’s no way around it.  

People who display flexibility and a willingness to try new ideas and ways of doing things tend to stand out.  

They aren’t rigid, clinging to obsolete realities. 

They show an understanding of the world by changing–a highly appealing quality because, well, we all generally want to keep growing and hence want our company to reflect that. 

Also, being flexible and open to new things takes a degree of humility that many lack in life. 

You’d be surprised how common it is to become stubborn, unyielding, and even borderline arrogant after a certain age. 

Oh, humans. 

Final words 

Young or old, people who are likable have a distinct advantage in life. 

So if you want to become more charming and personable, start working on yourself. 

Slowly but surely adopt some of the traits and behaviors described above. 

The good news is, people are always capable of change. You certainly are no different. 

So keep moving forward. 

Soon, you will be a different, more well-liked person; and if you keep at it, you’ll be unstoppable.