Emotional intelligence isn’t something you’re born with – it’s a skill that’s honed over time. As we mature, we learn to navigate the world not just with our minds, but also with our hearts.

You see, emotional intelligence is all about understanding and managing your own emotions, while also empathizing with the emotions of others. It’s a silent strength that’s often overshadowed by intellectual prowess.

But don’t be fooled. Those who grow emotionally intelligent as they age often exhibit certain subtle behaviors – behaviors that speak volumes about their inner maturity.

Let me share with you 9 such behaviors that emotionally intelligent people tend to display as they mature in life. 

1) Self-awareness

Emotional intelligence is deeply rooted in self-awareness. It’s about understanding your own emotions, recognizing them as they happen, and comprehending how they affect your thoughts and actions.

As people mature and develop emotional intelligence, they become more attuned to their emotional state. They can identify when they’re feeling happy, sad, angry, or anxious and understand why. This awareness doesn’t just extend to their emotions – it also includes their strengths, weaknesses, values, and motivations.

Self-aware individuals are also able to recognize how their emotions can influence their perception of situations and other people. This ability helps them make more informed decisions without being swayed by raw emotions.

Remember though, self-awareness isn’t just about introspection. It also involves recognizing how others perceive you. Emotionally intelligent people are often able to see themselves from an outside perspective, understanding how their actions and behaviors might be interpreted by others.

In essence, self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. 

2) Empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a key trait of emotionally intelligent people. It’s about seeing things from someone else’s perspective, not just your own.

A few years ago, my friend was going through a tough breakup. Even though I hadn’t personally experienced a similar situation, I tried my best to empathize with her pain. I listened to her, validated her feelings and offered support – not because I knew exactly what she was going through, but because I could imagine the heartache she was feeling.

This instance taught me a lot about empathy. It’s not about having the same experiences as someone else but about being able to put yourself in their shoes. It’s about being present and creating a safe space for them to express their emotions without judgement.

Empathy allows you to connect with others on a deeper level. It’s a subtle behavior that emotionally intelligent people display as they mature and navigate life’s challenges. It’s not just about understanding others’ feelings – it’s about responding to them in an understanding and supportive way.

3) Emotional regulation

Emotionally intelligent people have the ability to regulate their emotions. They don’t suppress or ignore their emotions – they acknowledge them, understand them, and then manage them in a healthy way.

Did you know our brains are wired to prioritize negative information over positive? It’s a phenomenon called the negativity bias. This means we’re more likely to remember and react to negative experiences than positive ones.

But emotionally intelligent people are able to counteract this bias. They have the skill to handle negative emotions, like anger or sadness, without letting them take over. They can face challenging situations with a level head, responding rather than reacting.

Moreover, emotionally intelligent people also know how to manage positive emotions. They can maintain their enthusiasm and motivation over time without getting carried away by initial excitement.

This ability to balance and regulate both negative and positive emotions is a key behavior that emotionally intelligent people display as they mature.

4) Active listening

Active listening is another characteristic behavior of emotionally intelligent people. It goes beyond merely hearing words – it’s about understanding the message behind them.

Emotionally intelligent individuals don’t just listen to respond. They listen to understand. They give their full attention to the person speaking, picking up on non-verbal cues like body language and tone of voice.

Moreover, they respond with thoughtful questions and comments, indicating that they’ve not only heard the words but have also understood the underlying thoughts, feelings, and intentions.

In today’s fast-paced world where everyone seems to be in a hurry, this ability to slow down and truly listen to others is a subtle yet powerful way of showing empathy and respect. It’s a behavior that emotionally intelligent people display, making their interactions more meaningful and their relationships stronger.

5) Open-mindedness

With emotional intelligence comes open-mindedness. Emotionally intelligent people are open to new ideas, perspectives, and experiences. They understand that their way isn’t always the best or only way.

These individuals appreciate diversity in thought and opinion. They are not quick to judge or dismiss ideas that differ from their own. Instead, they see it as an opportunity for growth and learning.

Open-minded people are also flexible in their thinking. They can adapt to changes and are not stuck in their ways. They understand that change is a part of life and being rigid can hinder personal and professional growth.

This open-mindedness is not about being indecisive or lacking strong convictions. It’s about being secure enough in your beliefs to entertain thoughts that are different from yours without feeling threatened. It’s a subtle behavior that emotionally intelligent people display as they mature, fostering better understanding and cooperation with others.

6) Gratitude

Emotionally intelligent people understand the value of gratitude in their lives. They recognize the good in their life and express appreciation for it, no matter how small.

Gratitude is more than just saying “thank you.” It’s about acknowledging the positive things in your life and recognizing that many of them come from outside sources. It’s about appreciating the beauty in simple moments, the kindness in others, and the opportunities that come your way.

I’ve noticed this trait in some of the most emotionally intelligent people I know. They don’t take things for granted. They value their relationships, cherish their experiences, and appreciate what they have. They understand that life is full of ups and downs, but there’s always something to be grateful for.

This kind of heartfelt gratitude is a subtle behavior that emotionally intelligent people display as they mature. It not only enhances their own well-being but also positively influences their relationships with others.

7) Accepting criticism

Accepting criticism is a skill that emotionally intelligent people have mastered. They understand that feedback, even when it’s negative, is a tool for personal and professional growth.

I remember a time when I was given some harsh feedback on a project at work. It stung, and my initial reaction was to become defensive. But then I reminded myself that this critique wasn’t an attack on me, but rather, an opportunity for improvement.

So, I swallowed my pride, thanked my colleague for their honesty, and used their feedback to enhance my work. From that moment on, I viewed criticism differently – not as something to fear or avoid, but as a chance to learn and grow.

Emotionally intelligent people don’t shy away from criticism. They welcome it, learn from it, and use it to better themselves. =

8) Emotional resilience

Emotionally intelligent people possess a high degree of emotional resilience. They understand that life is filled with challenges and disappointments, but they don’t allow these obstacles to derail them.

Instead, they view adversity as an opportunity to learn and grow. They bounce back from failures and setbacks, using them as stepping stones towards success rather than stumbling blocks. They know that it’s not about how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up.

This emotional resilience is not about denying or suppressing feelings of disappointment or frustration. It’s about acknowledging these feelings and then moving forward with a positive mindset.

This ability to remain resilient in the face of adversity is a subtle behavior that emotionally intelligent people display as they mature. It sets them apart and aids them in navigating life’s ups and downs with grace and determination.

9) Strong interpersonal skills

The cornerstone of emotional intelligence is strong interpersonal skills. Emotionally intelligent people are adept at building and maintaining healthy relationships. They understand the importance of clear communication, respect, and mutual understanding in fostering meaningful connections with others.

These individuals are able to manage conflicts in a constructive manner, ensuring that disagreements don’t escalate into heated arguments. They express their thoughts and feelings honestly, while also respecting the perspectives of others.

Strong interpersonal skills involve more than just speaking – it’s about listening, empathizing, and connecting on an emotional level.

This ability to relate to others in a positive and meaningful way is a crucial behavior that emotionally intelligent people display as they mature. It’s the key to leading a fulfilling life, both personally and professionally.