We often think of loneliness as something that happens to us.

But what if it’s not just a matter of circumstances? What if some of our everyday habits, the things we do without thinking, are quietly leading us toward isolation?

As people age, they often unknowingly fall into patterns that increase feelings of loneliness, especially in their 70s and beyond. 

In this article, we’ll uncover eight behaviors that contribute to loneliness in later life and how to recognize them before they take hold.

Are you unknowingly adopting these habits?

Let’s explore.

1) Withdrawing from social interactions

As we age, the world around us changes dramatically. And sometimes, we inadvertently respond by withdrawing from social interactions.

Why?

Well, it could be due to a number of reasons.

Perhaps it’s the fear of being a burden, or a result of declining health and mobility issues. Or maybe it’s simply because of the misconception that solitude is a natural part of aging.

The problem is, this withdrawal often happens subconsciously. We gradually start spending less time with friends, avoid community activities, and before we know it, our social world has shrunk considerably.

This habit can unknowingly lead to feelings of loneliness, even in the most self-sufficient individuals.

It’s important to remember that staying socially active and connected isn’t just about having company—as research has shown, it’s connections that keep us happy and even help us live longer. 

2) Letting routines take over

I’ve noticed this in my own life as I’ve grown older.

It’s easy to fall into comfortable routines, especially when you’re retired and have more control over how you spend your time.

For me, it was waking up, reading the newspaper, taking a walk, cooking meals, watching my favorite shows, and then going to bed. It was comfortable, yes.

But after a while, I realized it was also incredibly isolating.

I had unknowingly built a routine that didn’t require much interaction with others. And while the predictability was comforting, it also kept me from seeking out new experiences and building new relationships.

It’s easy to underestimate how much these routines can contribute to feelings of loneliness.

But recognizing this habit is a crucial step towards breaking free from it and injecting more social interactions into your daily life.

3) Over-reliance on technology

In today’s digital age, it’s easier than ever to stay connected with the world – or so it seems.

Many older adults have embraced technology, using it as a lifeline to family and friends. However, what many people don’t realize is that excessive use of technology can actually contribute to feelings of loneliness.

A study conducted during the COVID-19 pandemic found that only virtual contact can make older people (60+) feel lonelier and unhappier. 

This is probably because online interactions often lack the depth and emotional connection of face-to-face conversations.

So while technology can be a great tool to stay in touch, it’s important to balance it with real-world interactions to prevent feelings of isolation.

4) Neglecting personal interests and hobbies

As we grow older, we often let go of our personal interests and hobbies. This could be due to physical limitations, lack of motivation, or even the loss of a partner who shared these interests.

But here’s the thing: letting go of our hobbies can lead us down a path of loneliness without us even realizing it.

These activities are not just for leisure – they’re also opportunities to interact with like-minded people and form meaningful connections.

Whether it’s gardening, painting, book clubs, or even bird watching – pursuing our hobbies can give us a sense of purpose and belonging. It allows us to feel part of a community and helps combat feelings of loneliness.

Even if it’s challenging, try to maintain your interests or explore new ones. They could become the key to staying connected and engaged in your later years.

5) Dismissing the importance of emotional connections

As people age, they sometimes downplay the need for emotional connections, thinking that they’ve seen and experienced it all.

But the truth is, our need for emotional closeness does not diminish with age. On the contrary, it becomes even more crucial.

Emotional connections give us a sense of belonging and purpose. They make us feel seen, heard, and valued. They remind us that we’re not alone in this journey.

But, unfortunately, many older adults dismiss these connections, thinking they’re no longer important or fearing they may become a burden to others.

This can lead to a self-imposed isolation that only intensifies feelings of loneliness.

It’s okay to lean on others and express your feelings. Emotional vulnerability is not a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of courage and strength.

And most importantly, it’s a fundamental part of our shared human experience.

6) Avoiding change and new experiences

As I’ve grown older, I’ve noticed a tendency in myself to stick to the familiar – the tried and tested. It’s comfortable, but it can also be limiting.

For example, I used to avoid trying new technologies, sticking to my old ways of doing things. I hesitated to join social media or use video calling, fearing that I wouldn’t understand or would make a mistake.

But this reluctance was isolating me. It kept me from connecting with friends and family in new ways, and from experiencing things that could add joy to my life.

Embracing change can be intimidating, but it can also lead to wonderful discoveries and connections.

Whether it’s learning a new technology, trying a new hobby or joining a new social group – being open to change can help us stay connected. 

7) Focusing on the past

As we age, it’s natural to reflect on past memories. However, when the past becomes a dominant part of our thoughts, it can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

This habit is often fueled by nostalgia – longing for the ‘good old days’. We may find ourselves reminiscing about past friendships, relationships, or life events, often overlooking the present and future.

While it’s perfectly fine to cherish our memories, it’s equally important to live in the present and look forward to the future.

Focusing too much on the past can prevent us from forming new relationships and experiences that can enrich our lives today.

Try to strike a balance. Cherish your past, but don’t forget to live in the present and plan for the future. It’s never too late to make new memories and connections.

8) Not reaching out for help

The most significant habit that leads to increased loneliness as we age is not reaching out for help when we need it.

It’s a combination of pride, fear of becoming a burden, and the misconception that asking for help is a sign of weakness.

But the truth is, seeking help is not a weakness. It’s a profound act of strength. It takes courage to acknowledge our needs and seek assistance. 

Even former Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius encouraged himself to ask for help.

Yes, the most powerful man in the world wrote to himself in his journal, “Do not be ashamed to be helped.” (The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Antoninus, 1944)

Whether it’s reaching out to family, friends, or professional services, asking for help can significantly reduce feelings of loneliness. It opens up avenues for connection and support that we may not have realized existed.

Final thoughts: The power of connection

At the heart of human existence lies a fundamental need for connection.

This need transcends age, geography, and culture, forming the foundation of our shared human experience.

As we age, our social circles often shrink due to various reasons – retirement, loss of loved ones, or health issues. But it doesn’t mean that our need for connection diminishes. If anything, it becomes even more crucial.

Connecting with others helps us feel valued, understood, and less alone. It gives us a sense of belonging and purpose, enriching our lives in ways we may not fully realize.

So, as we navigate through the later stages of life, let’s strive to stay connected. Let’s challenge ourselves to break the habits that isolate us and instead foster habits that bring us closer to others.