There’s a stark difference between people who are enjoyable to be around and those who aren’t.

This difference often boils down to behavior. Those difficult individuals often exhibit certain traits that they’re completely oblivious to.

Being around such people can be draining, even though they might not realize the impact of their actions.

In this article, we’ll delve into the nine behaviors that make people really hard to be around. And remember, these are characteristics they themselves often fail to recognize.

So, buckle up as we explore these behaviors to help you identify and deal with such situations better. It’s all about understanding and navigating these challenging interactions.

1) Constant negativity

A defining trait of people who are tough to be around is an unending aura of negativity.

And it’s not just about being a ‘glass half empty’ kind of person. It’s about consistently bringing down the mood, seeing the worst in every situation, and sapping the energy out of a room.

The thing is, these individuals often don’t realize they’re doing it. They might see themselves as realists, or believe they’re just expressing their thoughts.

Yet, this constant negativity can make interactions with them mentally and emotionally draining. It creates a downbeat environment that most people would prefer to avoid.

Recognizing this behavior is the first step in dealing with such individuals. Keep in mind though, it’s important to approach this situation with empathy and understanding, as constant negativity could be a sign of deeper issues.

2) Self-centeredness

Here’s something I’ve noticed in my personal encounters: individuals who are tough to be around often exhibit a high degree of self-centeredness.

I once had a friend, let’s call him Tom, who would almost always steer the conversation towards himself. It didn’t matter what we were discussing, somehow, Tom would find a way to relate it back to his own experiences.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with sharing personal stories. In fact, it can make conversations more interesting. But when it becomes a pattern, where every discussion revolves around them and their life, it can make you feel undervalued and unheard.

Tom probably didn’t realize he was doing this. He may have thought he’s just engaging in the conversation. But for those on the receiving end, it felt like our experiences or opinions mattered less.

Dealing with self-centeredness can be tricky, but recognizing it is the first step. And once you do, you can better navigate your interactions with such individuals.

3) Lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what enables us to connect on a deeper level. But some people struggle with this.

Individuals who are difficult to be around often exhibit a lack of empathy. They struggle to see things from another person’s perspective or fail to recognize the impact of their actions on others.

Interestingly, a study published in the journal Brain revealed that the ability to empathize is linked to specific brain pathways. When these pathways aren’t functioning properly, it can lead to difficulties in empathizing with others.

People who lack empathy often don’t realize it. They might think they’re being direct or pragmatic, unaware that they’re coming across as insensitive or dismissive. Recognizing this trait can help us better understand their behavior and find effective ways to interact with them.

4) Excessive interrupting

We all interrupt in conversations from time to time. We’re human, after all. But there’s a line between the occasional interruption and a consistent pattern of cutting people off.

People who are difficult to be around often exhibit this behavior. They frequently interrupt others, not allowing them to finish their thoughts or express their opinions fully.

The irony? These individuals often don’t realize they’re doing it. They may think they’re just actively participating in the conversation or that their point is too important to wait.

However, constant interruption can make others feel disrespected and unheard. It undermines the flow of conversation and can lead to frustration and resentment. Identifying this behavior is the first step in addressing the issue, either by modifying your own behavior if you’re the one doing the interrupting or by finding ways to manage it if you’re on the receiving end.

5) Unreliability

Reliability is a key trait we value in our relationships. Knowing we can count on someone builds trust and fosters a sense of security.

However, some people display a consistent pattern of unreliability. They frequently break promises, miss deadlines, or show up late without a valid reason.

This behavior can be particularly difficult to deal with because it creates uncertainty and disrupts plans. It may seem like a small thing, but over time, it can seriously erode trust.

Interestingly, the individuals who exhibit this behavior often don’t realize they’re doing it. They may see themselves as spontaneous or flexible, unaware of the negative impact their unreliability has on others.

6) Constant criticism

Constructive criticism is a valuable tool for growth and improvement. But when it crosses the line into constant criticism, it can become destructive and hurtful.

Some individuals, often hard to be around, have a tendency to criticize incessantly. Everything, from your choices to your appearance, seems to be under their scanner.

And the thing is, they often don’t realize they’re doing it. They might believe they’re just being honest or helpful, not understanding that their constant criticism can chip away at a person’s self-esteem and happiness.

It’s heart-wrenching to feel like you’re never good enough in someone’s eyes. It’s important to remember, though, that this behavior says more about them than about you.

7) Monopolizing conversations

Communication is a two-way street. It involves both speaking and listening. However, some individuals have the habit of dominating conversations, leaving little room for others to express their thoughts.

I’ve found myself in these situations more times than I’d like to admit. The other person would talk endlessly about their ideas, experiences, or problems, barely pausing for a breath, let alone giving me a chance to contribute.

They probably didn’t realize they were hogging the conversation. Maybe they were just excited or had a lot on their mind. But the end result was the same: I felt unheard and unimportant.

Recognizing this behavior is key. It allows us to address the issue constructively, whether by setting boundaries, speaking up for ourselves, or finding more balanced ways to communicate.

8) Inflexibility

Flexibility is a crucial skill in our rapidly changing world. It allows us to adapt to unexpected situations and navigate differences in opinions or preferences.

However, some individuals show a distinct lack of flexibility. They insist on their ways, refusing to consider alternate viewpoints or make compromises.

Strikingly, these individuals often don’t realize they’re being inflexible. They might see themselves as principled or consistent, unaware that their rigidity can make them difficult to deal with.

Being around inflexible people can be challenging, as it limits the scope for dialogue and mutual understanding.  

9) Lack of respect for boundaries

Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. They allow us to protect our personal space and maintain a sense of self.

However, some individuals have a tendency to disregard these boundaries. They may intrude on your personal space, dismiss your feelings, or make inappropriate comments.

Surprisingly, these individuals often don’t realize they’re overstepping. They may see themselves as open or friendly, oblivious to the discomfort they’re causing. This behavior can make them particularly difficult to be around.

If you’re dealing with boundaries intruders, keep in mind that your boundaries are valid and important. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

Final reflection: It’s often about self-awareness

Many of the traits we’ve explored in this article – from constant negativity to lack of respect for boundaries – often stem from a lack of self-awareness. Individuals exhibiting these behaviors are frequently oblivious to the impact they have on those around them.

Dr. Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist and author, proposes that increasing self-awareness can lead to more successful careers and satisfying lives. She says, “When we see ourselves clearly, we are more confident and more creative. We make sounder decisions, build stronger relationships, and communicate more effectively.”

So, as we navigate our interactions with difficult individuals, let’s remember this: their behaviors may not be a conscious choice but a reflection of their self-awareness level. This understanding can foster empathy and open up paths for constructive conversations about their impact on others.

After all, understanding is the first step towards transformation.